Real Leaders Cry (#GrowingLeader)

 

I don't know about you, but I respect leaders who cry for something or someone that they care about. "Your lack of vulnerability isn't courageous," writes Mark Batterson, "It's cowardly!" The Bible says Jesus wept (John 11:35). If the Leader of leaders cries, then it's alright to do so 😉⚡✔ #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader

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THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

12 Rules for Life #12 Pat a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“Set aside some time to talk and to think about the illness or other crisis and how it should be managed every day. Do not talk or think about it otherwise. If you do not limit its effect, you will become exhausted, and everything will spiral into the ground. This is not helpful. Conserve your strength. You’re in a war, not a battle, and a war is composed of many battles. You must stay functional through all of them. When worries associated with the crisis arise at other times, remind yourself that you will think them through, during the scheduled period”

(Jordan Peterson)

This final rule is mainly autobiographical and Peterson tells us about tragedy and pain. When tragic things are in front of us and we’re powerless, we must keep our eyes open for those little things that make life worthwhile. The title of this chapter inspired by the author’s experience of observing a local stray cat and watching it adapt to its surroundings in a harsh environment.

When you feel that your life is crewed up there is a way to make it easier to handle until you make it back on your feet. That is to shorten your “temporal horizon.” Stop thinking about what’s going to happen in the next months. Think about what and how you can improve today’s day or maybe just the next hours. Shrink the time frame until you can eventually handle the rest of it and this is how you adjust to devastation. It’s very important to not give up even in the worst situations, even if you’re at a place you’d rather not be, always try to look for what’s meaningful and worthwhile. “When you are going for a walk and your head is spinning a cat will show up and if you pay attention to it then you will get a reminder for just fifteen seconds that the wonder of Being might make up for the ineradicable suffering that accompanies it,” wrote Peterson, “Pet a cat when you encounter one on the street.”

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

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12 Rules for Life #9 Assume that the Person You are Listening to Might Know Something You Don't (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“The great majority of us could not listen; we would find ourselves compelled to evaluate because listening would seem too dangerous. So the first requirement is courage, and we do not always have it.”

(Carl Rogers)

When people argue about something, they often fall in the trap of trying to win over that argument and miss the true point of a good conversation. That is to come-out-wiser-than-you mentality when into it. First of all, winning over an argument does not necessarily mean that your thinking was smarter. If you happen to be more verbally fluent than the others, chances are against him even though he might be wiser than you, because as long as he cannot express his opinions with ease he can’t win because you don’t give him fair chances to win. And as mentioned before: “It’s not about winning.”

The best thing to do is to take good advantage of what someone is trying to tell you. Give him or her a chance to fully explain and make you understand what he or she is exactly thinking. Who knows maybe, in the end, you could find his or her ideas or suggestions better than some of yours and prevent you from facing future problems. “If you listen, instead, without premature judgment, people will generally tell you everything they are thinking—and with very little deceit. People will tell you the most amazing, absurd, interesting things.” Peterson even says to “listen to your enemies.” Surely, they will lie about you, but also be sure that they will be frank about things that your friends might not see or don’t dare to tell you. Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

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Angelus' Quote: Leaders Turn a Vision Into Reality

Leaders turn a vision into reality. Currently, I'm reading a book The Leader In You and I find that this short story is fascinating. Mother Teresa was a young Catholic nun, teaching high school in an upper-middle-class section of Calcutta, India. But she kept looking out the window and seeing the lepers on the street.

"I saw fear in their eyes,” she said. "The fear they would never be loved, the fear they would never get adequate medical attention." She could not shake that fear out of her mind. She knew she had to leave the comfort and security of the convent, go out into the streets and set up homes for the lepers and the poor of the poorest. Over the years, Mother Teresa and the people of Missionaries of Charity have cared for more than 149,000 (as 1993) people with leprosy, depending on medical attention and unconditional love.

Mother Teresa as an example of a leader? Why not? She makes things happen, she turns a vision into reality and leads thousands of volunteers to love the unloved. That's leadership! 😇😉❤ #ServeToLead

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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From Ruth to Rich: Churches Need to Deal with Sin Compassionately and Wisely

As I read late Billy Graham’s Just As I Am (1997) autobiography, I’m encouraged by his wife, Ruth Bell, for her life, support, and works in the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association ministry. About Ruth, Billy writes, “God gave Ruth many, many gifts, one of which was writing.” I agree. In this series, I try to imagine (one of God’s greatest gifts to humankind) what would Ruth Bell says to encourage young man like me – and perhaps, you. I hope you enjoy it!

Dear Richard, my son,

My pet rabbit died abruptly (as pet rabbits have a way of doing). As a forlorn 8-year-old, in China, I buried him in our yard, lovingly digging a hole and covering him. Every day I dug him up to see how he was getting along. The last time I saw him he was green.

While I was growing up in China, someone in our greater mission family sinned, and I remember how quickly, quietly and effectively that situation was dealt with. Then the principle of “love covers” was applied. Not, like my pet rabbit, dug up again. And through the years in our own family, situations on occasion had to be faced, dealt with and buried. Churches need to deal the same way, wisely and compassionately with sin, and then love covers: “[Now] instead you should rather forgive and comfort him. This will keep him from being overwhelmed by excessive grief to the point of despair” (2 Corinthians 2:7).

However, my son, in those situations where some heresy, cult or con game operates under the name of Christianity, they need to be exposed so as to warn others and dealt openly! That is something different. But for those believers in God’s family, sins need to be dealt with promptly, compassionately, privately. Then silence, under the principle of “love covers.” Confront sin, yes, but also demonstrating God’s grace and mercy to our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Do you understand this? I hope you do…

With love,

Ruth Bell Graham

(1920 – 2007)

THINK BIG.  START SMALL. GO DEEP.

                  

How to Fix A Broken Heart (2018) by Dr. Guy Winch, Book Review

How to Fix A Broken Heart (2018) by Dr. Guy Winch

You fall in love. You break someone’s heart. Your heart is broken. How to deal with this universal experience? Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist, author, and keynote speaker. His first TED Talk, Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid, has been viewed more than 50 million times (also, check out his latest TED Talk on the same book title). "A broken heart is unmistakable. We think of nothing else. We feel nothing else," writes Guy. "And often, we can do nothing else except sit with the immense pain, grief, and loss. Heartbreak can last for days, weeks, months, and even years." 

Yet while we wouldn't expect someone to go to work or function well with a broken limb, heartbroken people are expected to function in their lives despite the emotional pain they feel. Whether it comes in the form of romantic love or through loss, heartbreak is ubiquitous. Yet we know so little about how to deal with it. With great wisdom and empathy, Guy explores how different our lives and our society would be if we better understood this unique emotional pain. 

Imagine we treated broken hearts with the same respect and concern we have for broken arms. Guy urges us to rethink the way we deal with emotional pain, offering warm, wise, and witty advice for the broken-hearted. Our hearts might be broken, we do not have to break with them. We can take control of our lives and our minds and put ourselves on the path of healing. This book (with superb illustrations by Henn Kim) published by TED Books, offers a 'toolkit' for how to handle and cope with a broken heart and how to - eventually - move on. There are four (4) chapters in this book, and I include some of my favorite quotes for each chapter:

Chapter 1: How the Brokenhearted Are Abandoned. “Our journey through heartbreak is determined by multiple variables: the specific nature of the relationship or loss, our fundamental character and coping styles, our individual and familial histories, the current context of our lives, and how we manage or mismanage our recovery. The last crucial variable that impacts our recovery is also the one most likely to disappoint us – our available support systems: friends and family, communities, schools, and places of employment”; “Most of us know of only two healing agents: social support and time”; “When our heart is broken, what determines others’ compassion is not how much emotional pain we actually feel but how much emotional pain they believe we should feel”; “Creating mysteries and conspiracies where none exist is a common response to romantic breakups”; “The worst thing we could do for ourselves when we are hurting is to internalize [it], become self-critical as a result, and deny ourselves the very empathy and support we so badly need.”

Chapter 2: When Hearts Break, Brains and Bodies Break Too. “Heartbreak is a hijacker. The emotional anguish it causes invades our thoughts, captures our attention, seizes our focus, and dominates our awareness”; “Reliving old memories and going through pictures is something many of us might do in the first hours, days or even weeks following a breakup… like a drug addict… We become intensely focused on the person who broke our heart (the ‘drug’)”; “In the era of social media, the most common way people satisfy their craving for the person who broke their heart is to stalk them digitally”; “Difficult as it is to unfriend, unfollow, block or delete our access to the person’s cyber world, it is the only prudent way to prevent ourselves from stalking them again in the future”; effects of heartbreak such as “panic attacks”, “cardiac abnormalities”, “stress” lead to depression, “suppressed immune system functioning” and more; “Heartbreak impacts our minds, our brains, and our bodies in direct, measurable, and unfortunate ways… to heal from a broken heart we have to first stop making things worse.”

Chapter 3: The Many Mistakes that Set Us Back. “Having a clear understanding of why things ended helps us reach closure much sooner than we might otherwise”; “Psychologically speaking, negative cognitions [inaccurate thoughts or beliefs that make us feel bad about ourselves] have three key features: they are self-critical, harmful or limiting; they are inaccurate to some degree; and most problematic, we tend to be convinced they are true”; “Our ‘cravings’ for them [ex] make us focus disproportionally in their best qualities... [Don’t!]… The best way to avoid idealizing the person who broke our heart is to deliberately force a balanced perspective in our mind”; “Avoiding things [memories of the person, places, activates together] does not lessen their emotional impact on us – it supersizes it… the best way to do so is by revisiting these places under different and specific circumstances so we can create new associations for them”; “We must be willing to make one crucial decision – to let go.” 

Chapter 4: Healing Starts with the Mind. “Our body’s priority is always to heal and keep us alive… but our mind’s priority is… to keep us away from situations that have hurt us in the past. The more painful an experience is, the harder the mind will work to make sure we do not make that ‘mistake’ again… to that end, when our heart is broken, our mind tries to keep our pain fresh and unforgettable…”; “Our bodies heal well automatically. Our minds do not”; “To fully heal when our heart is broken, we have to look in the mirror (metaphorically and perhaps literally) and tell ourselves it’s time to let go. And that can be extremely difficult… we need to let go our hope, of the fantasy in which we undo what went wrong… we need to truly say good-bye – to turn away from love, even when there is no longer a person or animal there to receive it… we need to let go of a part of ourselves, of the person we were when our love still mattered”; “We have to rebuild our self-esteem by practicing self-compassion”; “Emotional pain should not and need not be a constant companion.”

Epilogue: Making Emotional Pain Visible. “When societies do not sanction grief, we internalize these standards and regard our own emotions and reactions as less legitimate… If emotional pain we visible, heartbreak and the suffering if caused would not remain disenfranchised for long. When we show up to work or school with a broken leg, arm, or even a broken finger, we often garner more attention, concern, and consideration, because we can see the splints or bandages, than we are likely to when our heart is broken. They are there as evidence that we hurt. And yet, broken bones inflict none of the profound cognitive, emotional, and psychological impairments heartbreak does”; “Heartbreak is all around us. It’s time we open our eyes and see it, for only then can we truly heal it and move on.”

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

[P.s: Why you need to buy a book? Borrow from your local library!]

4 Basic Biblical Responses: Thinking About Homosexuality

Yesterday I had a Bible Study with UCSI Sarawak Christian Fellowship (CF). This week we continue to the second part of the unChristian series on Thinking about Homosexuality. The purpose of this series is to challenge youths to think about real hard issues around us. Today was good and lively. I shared my stories encountered with this issue, they asked questions, we respond to one another and agree on the Scriptures. Here are Four (4) Basic Biblical Responses based on Mark 2:13-17 that I shared with them:

#1 With the Exception of Jesus, We Are All Sinners (Romans 3:23). One struggle with homosexuality, one with pornography. One with gossips, one with murderous-hatred. One with hypocrisy, one with doubt. Levi, the tax collector, money swindler; the Pharisees, prideful religious. Don't judge (with self-righteous attitude) someone just because they sin differently than you do. Knowing that we - Christ followers - are redeemed sinners, humble us.

#2 We Must Treat One Another with Compassion and Love. Every human being has dignity and made in the image of God. Jesus, in the Bible, has compassion for the people because they are like sheep without a shepherd. And what He did? He reached down to them, be with the people and love them unconditionally. Remember, Jesus eats with the sinners. If you cast away, avoid or reject those who are 'different' in sexuality from you, then how they can experience the love of Christ? Who will witness Christ's love to them? There is no discrimination in friendship. No boundaries, no walls. Talk and listen, really listen to understand. Be a friend and be a real friend.

#3 Stand Firm in the Faith: Accept Homosexuals Doesn't Mean We Approve Their Lifestyles. The Bible is clear on homosexual, and it is clear also that we don't have to be a jerk! Draw the line, you don't have to be confused or denying the truth. Hold on to the biblical standard. Be a principle Christian. I said this to my homosexual friend, "I'm straight and I deny homosexual lifestyles, but I'm still your friend. I want to be your friend." Jesus eats with the sinners. He was with sinners the most part of His earthly life. He was called “friend of sinners.” But do you think Jesus approved of their lifestyle? No! Jesus was able to stand firm in His Word and at the same time draw sinners to Himself. He remained holy, set apart. We MUST, and we CAN do the same. Only let the Holy Spirit lead you. Be firm and be kind are not opposed to one another.

#4 Finally, Change Is Possible! Homosexuality is not a simple issue - it is complex. We must know and acknowledge that. It's hard and very challenging for them. But again, nothing is impossible for God. I was blind, now I see. I was lame, now I walk. I was dumb, now I can talk. Change can be slow, gradual and hard. But it is possible. When Levi first met Jesus, he was a tax collector (leader of the sinners); then he follows Jesus, he became a disciple, then his life changed, and we called him now as Matthew, the gospel writer.

So, humble yourself, #1 Know that we are all sinners (or redeemed sinners); #2 Treat one another, regardless of their sexuality or lifestyle, with compassion and love; #3 Stand firm in your faith, don't deny the truth; and #4 Pray and trust that change is possible! God can do it.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) by Jordan B. Peterson, A Review

12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018) by Jordan B. Peterson

Reading Jordan Peterson's book is refreshing. He is a psychologist whose writing combines science and common sense. One of his talents is his ability to articulate complex ideas to a wide audience, regardless of whether you have a background in psychology or not (although it would be good if you're interested in psychology, it will be very much helpful). In comparison with Stephen R. Covey's 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, I find that this book is a bit complex in language and some of its term I'm not familiar with. But both book concepts are simple enough and easy to understand. It covers his twelve rules for life, which are intended not only as a guide for the life of the individual but as "a remedy for society’s present ills." Peterson believes that the cure for society starts with curing the individual, the smallest unit of society. Peterson’s well-known advice to "clean your room" is a reflection of the truth that if you can’t even manage the most basic and mundane responsibilities of life, then you have no business dictating to others how to fix society.

One of the main themes of this book is: "Personal change is possible." There's no doubt you can be slightly better today than you were yesterday. Because of Pareto's Principle (small changes can have disproportionately large results), this movement towards the goodwill "increases massively and this upward trajectory can take your life out of hell more rapidly than you could believe." Life is tragic and full of suffering and malevolence, says Peterson. But there's something you can start doing right, and all of these 'rule' is within our power to do so.

To read my simple summary for each chapter, CLICK on the titles below. It will link you to my second blog Idea For Today, enjoy!

Rule #0 Introduction: The Important of Personal Change

Rule #1 Stand Up Straight With Your Shoulders Back

Rule #2 Treat Yourself Like Someone You Are Responsible for Helping

Rule #3 Make Friends with People Who Want the Best for You

Rule #4 Compare Yourself to Who You Were Yesterday, Not Who Someone Else Is Today

Rule #5 Do Not Let Your Children Do Anything that Makes You Dislike Them

Rule #6 Set Your House In Perfect Order Before You Criticize the World

Rule #7 Pursue What Is Meaningful, Not What Is Expedient

Rule #8 Tell the Truth - Or, At Least, Don't Lie

Rule #9 Assume that the Person You are Listening to Might Know Something You Don't

Rule #10 Be Precise In Your Speech

Rule #11 Don't Bother Children When They Are Skateboarding

Rule #12 Pat a Cat When You Encounter One on the Street

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Book Review: Spurgeon on Leadership (2010) by Larry J. Michael

Spurgeon on Leadership: Key Insights for Christian Leaders from the Prince of Preachers
(2003, 2010) by Larry J. Michael

Reading biographies – Christian biographies, especially – is one of the best decision I ever made and habit that I will keep for a lifetime. Philip Brooks, preacher, and author, said, "A biography is, indeed, a book; but far more than a book, it is a man… Never lay the biography down until the man is a living, breathing, acting person to you." We who are in the ministry – of all people – ought to read biographies. We minister to real people, and the better we understand great men and their times, the better we can minister to our people in our times. A truly good biography of a great person "has a universal quality about it that makes it touch life at many points," observed Warren W. Wiersbe.

Charles H. Spurgeon (1834-1892), well-known British’s 19th-century preacher, though I never met him, is my spiritual mentor. Since I read two of his awesome biographies Spurgeon: A New Biography (1984) by Arnold Dallimore and Charles Spurgeon: The Prince of Preacher (1997) edited by Dan Harmon, my respect, and admiration for him ever increases. It was intensified by my reading of Spurgeon Gold (2005) collection of quotes compiled by Ray Comfort and a huge volume of The Essential Works of Charles Spurgeon: Selected Books, Sermons and Other Writings (2009) edited by Daniel Partner which is over 1,391 pages! Many great preachers today also admire Spurgeon, men like John MacArthur [in his book Ashamed of the Gospel, MacArthur warned the church today not to be like the world. He uses the life of Spurgeon as an example of a faithful preacher of Christ] and John Piper for examples [he preached and wrote a book entitled Charles Spurgeon: Preaching Through Adversity]. Spurgeon is my spiritual mentor and his life is an inspiration for me. I never dream of becoming like him – far from it – because as Philip Brooks advice, "The object of reading biography… is not imitation but inspiration." Oh yes, an inspiration indeed!

Because of this, I rejoice gladly and read with great interest this book by Larry J. Michael. You can't separate Charles Spurgeon, pastor of the first megachurch in church history, from his excellent leadership. Beside pastored a megachurch, he also began a college to train pastors, founded an orphanage, instituted countless charitable organizations, sending missionaries, and bless other churches through his preaching, publishing books and book ministry for not-well-to-do pastors. No doubt among churches today this type of leader is in high demand, and Spurgeon's leadership style and innovations provide a challenging model. Rich Warren writes, "Spurgeon's model of leadership has profoundly influenced my life and ministry." Tom. S. Rainer agrees, "In every generation as few leaders emerge to set the pace and established the standards for leadership. [C.H. Spurgeon] was definitely one of these great leaders." John C. Maxwell simply says, "I highly recommend this book to all serious students of leadership!"

Here Michael points out not merely the insights of what it means to be an influential leader but also important fundamentals such as Christian commitment and moral character. Moreover, he shows how Spurgeon demonstrated extreme courage and conviction for those principles and how, in the various controversies that surrounded his ministry, he rose to meet them with a genuine sense of Christian maturity and Biblical constancy. Michael also stresses important characteristics such as grasping a vision for the task and prioritizing one's ministry in both the setting and the context of pastoral compassion and leadership. He also highlights Spurgeon as Christian model for both his staff, church members, and – especially for his family. Here too Michael does not exclude the fact that leadership often entails suffering and that was where Spurgeon truly ascended to the heights of leadership (besides physical illnesses, he also suffered depression). This book officially becomes my favorite leadership book!

It is divided into 3 parts and each cover leadership insights that are both historical in its context and practical for today's applications:

Part 1: The Leader for All Seasons

#1 Competence: Developing and Demonstrating Leadership

#2 Confidence: Balancing Faith, Attitude, Initiative, and Humility

#3 Context: Spurgeon in Victorian England

#4 Calling: Conversion and Growth

#5 Character: An Example of Integrity

Part 2: Leading Through the Seasons

#6 Casting Vision: Spurgeon's Goals and Planning

#7 Courage: Standing for Righteousness, Scripture, and Sound Teaching

#8 Commitment: Teaching and Modelling Devotion to Family

#9 Creativity: Preaching, Methods, and Ministry Innovations

#10 Compassion: Personal Toughness and Pastoral Tenderness

#11 Compass: Leading Despite Criticism and Conflict

#12 Coping: Dealing with Illness and Depression

Part 3: Applying the Lessons of a Leader

#13 A Leader for the World in Crisis

#14 A Leader for the Daily Challenge

Do you know why Spurgeon was such a great leader? For your information, he didn't go to any theological school (huh, I’m glad). Humanly speaking, he was self-taught. This is his theology and how he became a great man of God: "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus is my Lord!" he exclaimed. With Lord Jesus Christ as his Master, only Master, everyone including Spurgeon is nothing but the humble servant of God. He first a follower of Jesus, then only he is a leader of men. Keep this in mind.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Book Review: Deliver Us from Evil (1973) by Don Basham

Deliver Us from Evil (1973) by Don Basham

I read this book as soon as I finished Francis McNutt's Deliverance from Evil Spirits (see the previous book review). This book came as a surprise to me. I didn't think I would like it as much as I did. If truth be told, I went into it a bit critical and skeptical. I'm just not one to subscribe to all these manifesting spiritual things. But the way the book was written, you know that Don Basham was really experiencing this. For what reason he was 'chosen' to deal with this phenomenon events is another story (though he wrote the details of how he called into this ministry. But by him coming from a completely conservative background to be thrown in the midst of manifestations of evil, is quite bizarre and had me thinking a lot. The book was well written on this subject and I learned a lot.

The "censored quarter of Christ's ministry," in Basham's estimation, is the part involving evil spirits or demons. He claims that one-quarter of Christ's ministry was devoted to deliverance ministry, yet the Christian church - during his day and even today - often chooses to ignore it totally or partially (or avoid this topic altogether). Basham has spent years counseling people with chronic problems and addictions. But throughout the course of his work, he was amazed to discover that exercising authority over demons could achieve in an instant what months of personal counseling often failed to do (not that he discounted the counselling ministry. Not all sickness and problems caused by demons but mostly are, said the author. We must be careful, of course). And so deliverance became not a fearful thing to him, but a thing of hope and reassurance. Don believes that "the ministry he now understands means more than (just) deliverance 'from' evil, it means deliver 'into' health and well-being." With real-life stories and vast experiences, the writer hooked me into reading this book to the end. Very good!

This book is now updated (this one is the first published version) and had a new title, "A Pastor's Reluctant Encounters with the Power of Darkness." I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to know more about this subject.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Help Child Deal with Divorce #10 Annabel, Be Happy, Have Fun and Enjoy Life (End)

Dear Annabel,

            You asked uncle, ‘It is okay to still laugh and have fun?’ Well of course! :) My prayer and wish are for you to be cheerful again. Divorce is not the end of your life, it’s just the beginning of a new and different chapter. Laughter and fun are great stress relievers and having fun with your friends can help you deal with what’s going on. Don’t feel guilty if you are having a good time even when your parents are not. Being miserable will not make it any easier for you or for them. Someone once said: “Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”

            Right now, you might still be in shock and you’re not as happy as you want to. But like what uncle already told you in the past, it won’t always be this way. As time goes by you will find it easier to accept your parents’ divorce and the changes it brings. You may even discover some unexpected positives. I discovered that my parents are happier after the divorce. I get along better with both of my parents when they separated with each other.

I know this might sound weird but coping with divorce can also bring out your strength and maturity. You will become more responsible, independent and thoughtful. I know you will because I see great potentials in you to make a different in other’s lives. You also will become better problem-solvers, better listeners (you can empathize other better) and even better friends. You will be amazed that you can make it through this difficult situation successfully. So be patient. Let others support you and enjoy the good things in life. Be courageous. Be compassionate. Be dependence on God.

Listen… uncle and your aunty are here for you. We always support you. You’re our daughter. I pray you the absolute best as you go through this tough time. You’re not alone. I foresee that you will look back and say, “Wow! That was tough, but I did it. Praise God!”

Laugh more,

Angelus

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Book Review: The Hidden Value of a Man (1992) by Gary Smalley and John Trent

The Hidden Value of a Man: The Incredible Impact of a Man on His Family (1992)
by Gary Smalley and John Trent

As a man, the authors writes, whether you realize it or not, own two “swords,” two form of power – a silver-handed sword called man’s positional power, and a gold-handed sword called man’s personal power. Positional power is “the clout, control, prestige and authority that come to a man because of where he works or what he does. It’s his job title, his resume… it’s the number of academic degrees he has earned… it centres on an image… and doing whatever it takes, to whomever, to increase and maintain the image of excellent.” Personal power on the other hand is “the ability to develop meaningful, fulfilling relationships; a willingness to do whatever it takes to strengthen our families and find the help we need to overcome any strains in our marriages.” Both are important, but men today lack personal power, the gold-handed sword, said the authors. “When you speak of a man’s personal power, you immediately think of words reflecting character like warmth, sensitivity, dependability, determination, genuine compassion and caring.”

Deep down, men may realize something of the power they have to touch the lives of their families, wives and children. But because we don’t understand how does it work and when to use it, we stumble along the way. We sometime have no real concept of the damage caused by our actions, our words, our absence, even our silence (just like my dad). As with smoking or alcohol abuse, we don’t see the damage immediately. So it’s easy to think that because everything looks fine on the outside, problems aren’t building up on the inside. Both authors are counsellors tell real-life-stories about how a child’s heart is within a man’s reach, the strength of a fulfilling marriage is within a man’s reach, and the destruction of our society lies within a man’s reach. “When will we realize we’re so powerful that we can’t ‘do our own thing’ without affecting everything and everyone around us?” For good and bad, for better and worst.

I’m not married yet, but I read this because I want to change my way of using my silver and gold swords, to equip myself in Biblical manhood, to improve my family relationships, and as preparation for marriage life. Successful in the world of work is important, but men also need to be successful at home. This is even more important. This remind me of 1 Timothy 3:5, “For if a man does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of God?” Great question!

This book is divided into 14 chapters, namely:

#1 The Hidden Value of a Man

#2 The Two Swords of Value in Every Man

#3 When We Fail to Pick Up the Gold Sword

#4 Creating Your Own Gold Sword

#5 Seven Reflections of the Gold Sword, Part 1

#6 Seven Reflections of the Gold Sword, Part 2

#7 Being Male May Be Hazardous to Your Family’s Health

#8 The Little “e” Can Spell Big Trouble

#9 Women Who Hide Our Swords

#10 Healing the Hole in Our Hearts

#11 When Actions Don’t Measure Up to Words

#12 The Hidden Power of Friends

#13 What to Do When Nothing Else Words

#14 Master of the Gold Sword

I love how this book end with Jesus Christ, the Master of the Gold Sword. Wow! I bought this book at second-hand book fair at The Hill, Kuching for only RM3.90.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ and My Fellow Malaysians, Let Us Pray for Pastor Raymond (Missing for A Week Now)

One of the saddest crimes is kidnapping or human stealing. Every day whether you turn on the news or go on the web, you always see kidnapping crimes going on worldwide. This is probably the most severe form of stealing. In the Old Testament this was punishable by death. Exodus 21:16, for example, says, “Kidnappers must be put to death, whether they are caught in possession of their victims or have already sold them as slaves.” This was what was happening back in the slavery days. It is not applicable today, but still, this law shows how serious this crime is (I checked: A Malaysia’s 1961 law states that kidnapping carries a life sentence or a death sentence, preceded by a whipping).

According to police, Pastor Raymond Koh Keng Joo, 62-year-old, of DUCM (Damansara Utama Methodist Church) is believed to have been abducted by a group of masked men after he was seen driving along Jalan Bahagia, Petaling Jaya, Selangor, in his car between 10.30am and 10.45am on Monday, 13^th February 2017. It has been exactly a week since his disappearance. “My children and I are very anxious for Raymond,” writes Susanna Liew Sow Yoke, Raymond’s wife on her message thru WhatsApp, “How can this blatantly happen in broad daylight in the peaceful place of our home land.”

Susannah continues, “I believe that the people who took my husband from me are no ordinary abductors because of the following reasons:

§  They were masked

§  The abduction was professionally and deftly executed, taking less than 60 seconds

§  The abductors had money, or were backed by money, or by an organisation with money as the cars they used were expensive SUVs, at least one of which was a black Toyota Alphard

§  The abduction was planned, timed and executed at an opportune moment, which suggests that they were waiting for my husband who drives an old Silver Honda Accord bearing number plate ST 5515 D.

Someone in the group calmly filmed the entire abduction while other masked members of the group re-directed the traffic. According to witnesses, at least five masked men were involved. According to CCTV footage, at least three black SUVs stopped in the middle of the road.”

Koh and his wife has been involved in many church charity and community work with a group called Harapan Komuniti, which he founded more than 10 years ago. Harapan Komuniti holds free tuition classes for children and English lessons for adults. Koh is well-known for the controversy in 2011 where the Selangor Islamic Religious Department (JAIS) accused him and his NGO for proselytising Muslims following a disrespectful raid on a thanksgiving and fund-raising dinner at the DUMC. (Actually, Jais raided without search warrants). Demi Membela Al-Islam wordpress on their 14^th October 2011 entry accused Koh and Susannah of converting people – especially Muslims – to Christianity (and putting Koh, Susannah, and Daniel Ho’s pictures as wanted figures). These liars accused them of gaining lots of money, around RM30,000 – Rm40,000 for every convert from the Christian Organization from Australia. This is a lie from the pit of hell! If it were true, I shall quit my job and focus on converting Muslims in Malaysia and beyond. The Worldwide Christian conspiracies (which is fuelled by hundreds of rubbish ‘literatures’ sale in Malaysia’s bookstores under the “Agama” section) is created by small-minded, spiritual-freak, die-hard religious people!

But I won’t deny pastor Koh’s involvement in sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ, the Son of the living God, to the Malays. He is an evangelist, he evangelized people no matter who they are, provided that his audiences are willing to hear the News. No manipulations. No force. Not for worldly reasons. I believes he evangelize to the Chinese, the Indians, the foreigners, the marginalized and disables, the rich and the poor, children and adults. The Good News is for all people, no other race is lower or higher than the other. That’s what pastors – and Christians – supposed to do! I’m proud of Pastor Raymond.  

If you’re not keen of the fact that he is a Christian pastor (you refuse to be move by his faith), then you should be compassionate for him as a person, as a law abiding citizen who has done nothing more than help the underprivileged regardless of race, religion or nationality. As Malaysians, we should stand together asking for mercy and justice. Dear polices, please update us of your investigations? Dear government officials, why nobody say anything? Dear government-based media (national TVs) why there is not a single news report of this kidnapping? It’s been a week for God sake!

Let us continue our prayer for Pastor Raymond Koh and his family. Susannah writes, “Let us persevere in prayer for the prayers of the righteous avails much. Let us continue to love God and do good to our neighbours. Raymond would be very happy today if he knows not only Malaysia is praying for him but also the whole world. Raymond always stood for justice, righteousness and truth. He always reached out to the poor, needy and marginalized. He even loved his enemies. Jesus was his example.” Amen.

[P.s: The family of pastor Raymond Koh Keng Joo is offering a reward of up to RM10,000 for any information on his whereabouts. Please WhatsApp Jonathan at 011-3973 2670]

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Young Men and Women, Consider the Love of Jesus

“[The] love of Christ… this love that surpasses knowledge”
(Ephesians 3:18-19, NIV)

Love expresses itself in a seemingly contradictory way. Parental love expresses itself in a wholesome and loving discipline, not in the indulgence of a child’s every whim. But not every child appreciates this expression of love. It is the same with the Lord’s children. In the gospels, three expressions of Christ’s love are recorded for our instruction. In each case it is stated that the Lord loved the person involved.

We learn first that Christ’s love corrects the one whom He loves. Speaking of the young ruler, Mark says, “Jesus looked at him and loved him” (10:21). And what did His love move Him to do? Jesus saw that the young man had many attractive qualities, but he lacked the greatest essential. He discerned the fatal flaw in the life of the ruler and dealt faithfully with him about it. The young man clinging to his great possessions, he sacrificed the greatest Possession. So will our divine Lord put His unerring finger on our fatal flaw, the thing that will rob us of His highest blessings? Shall we ask him to show us what that thing is?

Next we see that Christ’s love allows suffering by His loved ones. “Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister [Mary] and Lazarus” (John 11:5). Jesus spent more time in their home than in any other. Was He soft and indulgent with this favoured family? No, He was not. He did not intervene to prevent Lazarus from dying. He did not spare the sisters the heartbreak of seeing him slowly slip away. Rather, He waited two days before responding to their appeal for help. Did He not care? He cared so much that He permitted their suffering.

And what was His purpose? “So that you may believe” (John 11:15). The cultivation of faith was the object of the discipline. After their trail, they had an immeasurably greater Lord, and their suffering has been used to impart comfort and insight to succeeding generations of believers.

Last, Christ’s love cleanses us. “Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end… [He] began to wash his disciples’ feet” (John 13:1, 5). At that moment, He was on His way to cleanse their defiled souls with His blood, but He paused to give a matchless demonstration of the humility of love. No task is too menial for love. Jesus washed their feet with water, and then with blood from the basin of the cross.

[Edited, modified and modernized from Consider Him (1976) by J. Oswald Sanders]

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Young Men, Consider the Hands of Jesus

“He lifted up his hands and blessed them”
(Luke 24:50, NIV)

Like our faces, our hands reveal much to the intelligent observer. How expressive they are – an index to our character and habits. With practiced discipline we can mask our facial expression, but how are we to mask our hands? They tell their own story. They can beckon or repulse. They can caress or kill. They can be inexpressibly tender or diabolically cruel.

What has Scripture to say about the hands of our Lord Jesus Christ? First, that they were human hands (Luke 24:39-40). To the frightened disciples in the upper room, the risen Christ suddenly appeared. Their fears were dispelled when He said to them, “Look at my hands.” The livid nail-marks forever assured them that He was the very same Jesus they had known before His crucifixion.

They were stainless hands. “Who may ascend the mountain of the LORD? Who may stand in his holy place?” asked the Psalmist. “The one who has clean hands and a pure heart” (Psalm 24:3-4). Christ’s hands were never stained by a single sin. They never performed an action contrary to His Father’s will.

They were calloused hands. “How are such mighty works done by his hands? Is not this the carpenter?” (Mark 6:2-3, ESV). He came to earth as a working man and demonstrated the dignity of honest labour. Jesus sweated at a carpenter’s bench, placing Himself on the level of the labourer.

Then they were sympathetic hands. “He reached out his hand and touched the man” (Mark 1:41). Unafraid of contagion, Jesus gave the amazed leper the touch of human compassion he had been denied for so long.

They were wounded hands. “What are these wounds between your hands?” was the probing question of Zechariah 13:6. The reply: “The wounds I was given at the house of my friends.” How eloquent of love and mercy were the prints of the nails.

Then, too, they were powerful hands. His “hand marked off the heavens” (Isaiah 40:12). The limitless oceans lie as a drop in His palm. They were uplifted in blessing (read Luke 24:50). Our last glimpse of the Master before His ascension is with His powerful hands spread in blessing.

They are protecting hands. “I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand” (John 10:28). How utterly safe we are!

[Edited, modified and modernized from Consider Him (1976) by J. Oswald Sanders]

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.