Showing posts with label Heart. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heart. Show all posts

Sunday, December 13, 2020

Real Leaders Cry (#GrowingLeader)

 

I don't know about you, but I respect leaders who cry for something or someone that they care about. "Your lack of vulnerability isn't courageous," writes Mark Batterson, "It's cowardly!" The Bible says Jesus wept (John 11:35). If the Leader of leaders cries, then it's alright to do so 😉⚡✔ #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader

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Sunday, December 15, 2019

Lord, Heal My Tongue: The Root of the Problem (Part 6/9)


God has made a provision in Scripture for the healing of our tongues. The first step in acquiring this is to identify the root of the problem. The testimony of Scripture is clear and unequivocal: the root of every problem affecting our tongues is in our hearts.

[This is a reading from Derek Prince's Does Your Tongue Need Healing? (1986) by Derek Prince Ministries International. Published by Whitaker House] #ServeToLead #HealMyTongue
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Lord, Heal My Tongue: Out of the Heart It Overflows (Part 2/9)


There is a direct connection between the heart and the mouth. Jesus states, "A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good words; an evil man, out of the evil treasure in his heart brings forth evil words" (read Matthew 12:33-37). If the heart is good, then out of the mouth or tongue will come words that are good. But if the heart is evil, then out of the mouth will come words that are evil. Does your tongue need healing?

[This is a reading from Derek Prince's Does Your Tongue Need Healing? (1986) by Derek Prince Ministries International. Published by Whitaker House] #ServeToLead #HealMyTongue
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Friday, November 16, 2018

How to Fix A Broken Heart (2018) by Dr. Guy Winch, Book Review


How to Fix A Broken Heart (2018) by Dr. Guy Winch

You fall in love. You break someone’s heart. Your heart is broken. How to deal with this universal experience? Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist, author, and keynote speaker. His first TED Talk, Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid, has been viewed more than 50 million times (also, check out his latest TED Talk on the same book title). "A brok
en heart is unmistakable. We think of nothing else. We feel nothing else," writes Guy. "And often, we can do nothing else except sit with the immense pain, grief, and loss. Heartbreak can last for days, weeks, months, and even years." 

Yet while we wouldn't expect someone to go to work or function well with a broken limb, heartbroken people are expected to function in their lives despite the emotional pain they feel. Whether it comes in the form of romantic love or through loss, heartbreak is ubiquitous. Yet we know so little about how to deal with it. With great wisdom and empathy, Guy explores how different our lives and our society would be if we better understood this unique emotional pain. 


Imagine we treated broken hearts with the same respect and concern we have for broken arms. Guy urges us to rethink the way we deal with emotional pain, offering warm, wise, and witty advice for the broken-hearted. Our hearts might be broken, we do not have to break with them. We can take control of our lives and our minds and put ourselves on the path of healing. This book (with superb illustrations by Henn Kim) published by TED Books, offers a 'toolkit' for how to handle and cope with a broken heart and how to - eventually - move on. There are four (4) chapters in this book, and I include some of my favorite quotes for each chapter:


Chapter 1: How the Brokenhearted Are Abandoned. “Our journey through heartbreak is determined by multiple variables: the specific nature of the relationship or loss, our fundamental character and coping styles, our individual and familial histories, the current context of our lives, and how we manage or mismanage our recovery. The last crucial variable that impacts our recovery is also the one most likely to disappoint us – our available support systems: friends and family, communities, schools, and places of employment”; “Most of us know of only two healing agents: social support and time”; “When our heart is broken, what determines others’ compassion is not how much emotional pain we actually feel but how much emotional pain they believe we should feel”; “Creating mysteries and conspiracies where none exist is a common response to romantic breakups”; “The worst thing we could do for ourselves when we are hurting is to internalize [it], become self-critical as a result, and deny ourselves the very empathy and support we so badly need.”

Chapter 2: When Hearts Break, Brains and Bodies Break Too. “Heartbreak is a hijacker. The emotional anguish it causes invades our thoughts, captures our attention, seizes our focus, and dominates our awareness”; “Reliving old memories and going through pictures is something many of us might do in the first hours, days or even weeks following a breakup… like a drug addict… We become intensely focused on the person who broke our heart (the ‘drug’)”; “In the era of social media, the most common way people satisfy their craving for the person who broke their heart is to stalk them digitally”; “Difficult as it is to unfriend, unfollow, block or delete our access to the person’s cyber world, it is the only prudent way to prevent ourselves from stalking them again in the future”; effects of heartbreak such as “panic attacks”, “cardiac abnormalities”, “stress” lead to depression, “suppressed immune system functioning” and more; “Heartbreak impacts our minds, our brains, and our bodies in direct, measurable, and unfortunate ways… to heal from a broken heart we have to first stop making things worse.”

Chapter 3: The Many Mistakes that Set Us Back. “Having a clear understanding of why things ended helps us reach closure much sooner than we might otherwise”; “Psychologically speaking, negative cognitions [inaccurate thoughts or beliefs that make us feel bad about ourselves] have three key features: they are self-critical, harmful or limiting; they are inaccurate to some degree; and most problematic, we tend to be convinced they are true”; “Our ‘cravings’ for them [ex] make us focus disproportionally in their best qualities... [Don’t!]… The best way to avoid idealizing the person who broke our heart is to deliberately force a balanced perspective in our mind”; “Avoiding things [memories of the person, places, activates together] does not lessen their emotional impact on us – it supersizes it… the best way to do so is by revisiting these places under different and specific circumstances so we can create new associations for them”; “We must be willing to make one crucial decision – to let go.” 
Chapter 4: Healing Starts with the Mind. “Our body’s priority is always to heal and keep us alive… but our mind’s priority is… to keep us away from situations that have hurt us in the past. The more painful an experience is, the harder the mind will work to make sure we do not make that ‘mistake’ again… to that end, when our heart is broken, our mind tries to keep our pain fresh and unforgettable…”; “Our bodies heal well automatically. Our minds do not”; “To fully heal when our heart is broken, we have to look in the mirror (metaphorically and perhaps literally) and tell ourselves it’s time to let go. And that can be extremely difficult… we need to let go our hope, of the fantasy in which we undo what went wrong… we need to truly say good-bye – to turn away from love, even when there is no longer a person or animal there to receive it… we need to let go of a part of ourselves, of the person we were when our love still mattered”; “We have to rebuild our self-esteem by practicing self-compassion”; “Emotional pain should not and need not be a constant companion.”

Epilogue: Making Emotional Pain Visible. “When societies do not sanction grief, we internalize these standards and regard our own emotions and reactions as less legitimate… If emotional pain we visible, heartbreak and the suffering if caused would not remain disenfranchised for long. When we show up to work or school with a broken leg, arm, or even a broken finger, we often garner more attention, concern, and consideration, because we can see the splints or bandages, than we are likely to when our heart is broken. They are there as evidence that we hurt. And yet, broken bones inflict none of the profound cognitive, emotional, and psychological impairments heartbreak does”; “Heartbreak is all around us. It’s time we open our eyes and see it, for only then can we truly heal it and move on.”

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.


[P.s: Why you need to buy a book? Borrow from your local library!]
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Thursday, November 8, 2018

Angelus' Quote: Unfriend Your Ex After Break Up


It has been said to "Always follow your heart" and it can be true sometimes. But when it comes to matters of the heart (I'm talking about emotion) listening to your head (logic) can save you a lot of pain. Listen to me - both as heart-breaker and as the heart that has been broken - please UNFRIEND your ex. It might don't make sense now; You might think that it's harmless; Perhaps you want to act kind or maybe you just don't have the gut to do it... Take a deep breath, let go of whatever confusing emotions you have right now, go to your ex's profile - UNFRIEND!

Why? In today's world, social networking is like living in a virtual world, and there are times when your virtual world and real world intersect. When it comes to relationships, all too often the virtual and real world are at odds. If you want to really let go, then please include let them go from your virtual world too. If you still keep your ex in your friend lists, it will make the hurt deeper, longer, harder to let go, make you feel insecure and negative (imagine you see your ex with someone new, then you'll think to yourself, "What's wrong with me?" "Am I not good enough?" "Is he/she happier without me?" and all sort of imaginary questions).

Don't be overconfident by saying, "No problem, we just gonna be normal friends" or "The past is the past, it won't affect me anymore." Unless you do not really love your ex before, these foolish talks are self-deceiving talks! You're not a robot, you're an emotional being. The reasonable thing to do is to UNFRIEND your ex. Plus, what if in the future you (thought you) already move on and found someone new, what if he or she finds out that you still connected with (or secretly 'stalking') your ex? I tell you, he or she will be mad and break up with you! Then, you neither have one or the other. So, don't be overconfident. Emotionally, this might be hard for you to do, I understand. But in a long-term, logically, this is the wisest thing to do. Listen to me: UNFRIEND your ex, Now!


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Angelus' Quote: Be A Lifelong Learner


To know is to arrive; to ask questions is to embark on a quest. People whose lives are characterized by a question mark (?) rather than a period (!), who look for learning opportunities everywhere they go. I say again, "To be a lifelong learner is both fun and functional, and all we need to travel along that path is a humble heart and a curious mind." Every person we meet, a situation we are in, books we read, etc. can teach us something; each experience holds within it an important lesson; in every moment is a message waiting to be discovered. When we embrace the spirit of inquiry and curiosity, we embrace life. How wonderful it is that this life is an inexhaustible source of wonders. How exciting to learn that the excitement of learning can last a lifetime. Even young Jesus “listening to [the Jewish teachers] and asking questions” and they in return “were amazed at his intelligent answers” (Luke 2:46-47).


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Sunday, August 5, 2018

FREE BOOKS OF THE MONTH: Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer


Why is the mind important? Because one small detail in the Greatest Commandment is often neglected. In Matthew 22:37, Jesus said, "You shall love the Lord your God will all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind." Love God not only with your heart and soul but with your mind too – "all your mind." With all your mind includes the right brain and the left brain.

There are many important verses on the Christian Mind, but one particular verse that holds dear to me is from Proverbs 23:7, "For as he thinks in his heart, so [is] he." Here you can see the crucial link between the mind and the heart. Your heart can influence your mind, but the other way round is also true: your mind can influence your heart. Since only God can change our hearts (see Ezekiel 36:26-27; John 15:5), the best way for us to change our lives is to change our own minds. How? By God's grace and human's will. God is in the process of "renewing [our] mind" (Romans 12:2) – that's grace because only God can make it happen. But the Scripture also instructs us to "set your mind to be right-minded" or "to think soberly" (Romans 12:3) – that's done by our will. Although the context of Romans 12:2-3 is on living sacrifice and humility, it can be applied to our lives too. If you're struggling with wrong, unholy, negative thinking, it's important for you to come to grips with the fact that your life won't change until your thinking does. And this is not beyond your will to change it. God gives us grace, are you willing to believe and apply it?

The Bible presents a lot of detailed instruction on what kinds of things we should think about. For example, in Philippians 4:8, Paul wrote: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things" or "…think on these things." Think about things that build you up, not tear you down. One of the best way for us to think God-ward thinking is to meditate on the Word of God. The more time we spend thinking about the Word, the more power and ability we will have to walk in it. The more we read and listen to the Word, the more revelation we will receive to understand it. "In the flesh," explain Joyce Meyer, "we are lazy and want to receive from God without any effort on our own part, but that's not the way it works. You will only get out of the Word what you are willing to put into it." She continues, "I encourage you to make a decision to meditate on God's Word every day because every moment you spend absorbing it, the more virtue and knowledge you will receive from God."

Two important books that I would like to recommend for young people on the topic of the mind: #1 As a Man Thinketh by James Allan; and #2 Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer [read my review on The Battlefield of the Mind: Devotional. Click on the title]. For me, these are basic, essential books. In Battlefield of the Mind (cool book title, right?), Joyce shows how we can deal with negative things such as worry, doubt, confusion, depression, anger and feelings of condemnation by changing our minds. She shares her own trials, tragedies, and victories from marriage, family, and ministry that led her to wondrous, life-transforming truth – and reveals her thoughts and feelings every step of the way. Her stories filled with God-exaltation and Word-based instructions make this book authentic and in my opinion – one of her all-time best books. Don't let critics and Bible-Sherlock-Holmes stop you from reading books by Joyce Meyer, especially this one (Well, if you read Joyce's books more than the Bible itself, then you're making her idol. That's idolatrous). Like many preachers and authors, we all have our disagreements on some points.

I admire Joyce's boldness, faith, perseverance, courage, thick-skin, and truth-telling. With all the negative critics, accusations, false-findings and labeling on the internet and YouTube about her, she keeps her faith in Christ and continues to preach God's Word – even more, and better! Thus, Battlefield of the Mind is not just a collection of words and advice, but it's her own testimonies and how she fought the battle of the mind with "the sword of the Spirit" (Ephesians 6:17). Christ and His Word is that powerful to change our heart and mind!
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This month (of August), I would like to giveaway TWO (2) FREE BOOKS entitle Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind (2002) by Joyce Meyer. All you have to do:

1) Write a comment (below) on this blog post:
"I want to read Battlefield of the Mind because........"

2) Share an article (from this blog) on your social media such as Facebook, Twitter, etc.

3) Send to me your home (or recent) address for me to post the book. You may do it through my FB Messenger or if you know me personally, through WhatsApp or SMS.

[P.s: This offer is available to my readers in Malaysia ONLY. And if you already received my free books before, you can only request again after 3 months. Btw, why don't promote this to your friends?]

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Monday, June 25, 2018

Learn Manhood from David #2 Handsome With Inner Character > Outer Appearances


The Lord said to Samuel, "Don't judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn't see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart"
(1 Samuel 16:7, NLT)

In his book, Wild At Heart, John Eldredge explained the nature of man after Genesis 3:10, "You don't need a course in psychology to understand men… We are hiding, every last one of us. Well aware that we, too, are not what we are meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not, we have run off into the bushes… Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a façade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise." In short, John called it – the Poser.

King Saul was a poser. When the pressure was on, in the heat of the battle, his true character revealed itself. Confused and fearful, he tried to engineer circumstances by partially obeying God's clear instructions when it served his own purposes. But when confronted with his disobedience, Saul justified, rationalized, and attempted to excuse his actions. For example, when Samuel found out that Saul sacrificed the burnt offering by himself, Samuel was furious and Saul gave this excuse, "You didn't arrive…" Just like when Adam when fall into temptation said to God, "It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit…" (Read the whole event in 1 Samuel 13:8-14). Saul's heart was dominated by self-righteous and arrogance toward the things of God. Tragically, we men are a lot like Saul in some areas of our lives. Oh, correction… Tragically, I'm a lot like Saul in most area of my life!

What a contrast David was! While Saul pursued independence from God, David longed for a deeper intimacy with Him: "I take joy in doing your will, my God, for your instructions are written on my heart" (Psalms 40:8). Although David's life, like any man's, was riddled with inconsistencies, his heart remained consistently pure toward God. In the sight of the Lord, David was transparent and open toward God. He was not a poser.

Like David, we all struggle and fail at times. Yet if we fall because of sin, we know that our standing with God remains just as it was: "If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness" (1 John 1:8-9). When David sinned, he confessed and repented. Thus, God forgave him and he was "cleanse from all wickedness." But when Saul sinned, he just regretted it and do nothing. He was “fooling” himself and “not living in the truth.” This is the difference between David's and Saul's heart. Our conduct reflects our character, and our character reflects what is ordering our hearts. If we want to change our conduct, then our character must change. And if we want to improve our character, our hearts must be transformed. "Create in me a clean heart, O God" (Psalms 51:10).

Again, like David, we can ride out any storm if our hearts are secure in the Lord and in His love for us. As Thomas a' Kempis, a Christian mystic, once said, "Man weighs your actions. God weighs your intentions." As God weighs the intentions of your heart, which way is the scale tipping?


"Most Christians are still living with an Old Testament view of their heart. Jeremiah 17:9 says, 'My heart is deceitfully wicked.' No, it's not. Not after the work of Christ, because the promise of the new covenant is a new heart" (John Eldredge)
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Wednesday, April 18, 2018

John C. Maxwell on Leadership #4 Develop A Personal Relationship With the People You Equip

All good mentoring relationships begin with a personal relationship. As your people get to know and like you, their desire to follow your direction and learn from you will increase. If they don’t like you, they will not want to learn from you, and the equipping process slows down or even stops.

To build relationships, begin by listening to people’s life stories, their journeys so far. Your genuine interest in them will mean a lot to them. It will also help you to know their personal strengths and weaknesses. Ask them about their goals and what motivates them. Find out what kind of temperaments they have. You certainly don’t want to equip and develop a person whose greatest love is numbers and financial statements for a position where he would be spending 80 percent of his time dealing with disgruntled customers.

One of the best ways to get to know people is to see them outside of the business world. People are usually on their guard at work. They try to be what others want them to be. By getting to know them in other settings, you can get to know who they really are. Try to learn as much as you can about the people and do your best to win their hearts. If you first find their hearts, they’ll be glad to give you their hands.

[taken from Developing the Leaders Around You: How to Help Others to Reach Their Full Potential (1995) by John C. Maxwell. Published by Thomas Nelson]

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