Showing posts with label Understanding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Understanding. Show all posts

Monday, May 25, 2020

Books on Creation Care (Some Suggestions) from Rining Peter Paris


Pada pendapat saya, membaca buku masih lagi antara salah satu kaedah pendidikan yang paling berkesan. Siapa tahu, mungkinkah kamu akan mendapat inspirasi dan panggilan untuk melakukan perubahan di sekeliling kamu seperti Bro Rining Peter Paris melalui Keep Green Movement (KGM)? Ini ialah beberapa cadangan buku tentang creation care yang dikongsikan semasa dalam temu bual LEGASI.tv Special Interview S.1 E.5 #ServeToLead #LEGASIInterview #KeepGreenMovement #BooksOnCreationCare #LeadersAreReaders

Untuk menonton temu bual Kenapa Peduli tentang Creation Care, KLIK DI SINI > https://youtu.be/SDyA__1C4Fs 

Ps: Satu buku tentang creation care yang saya pernah baca dahulu ialah dari Ibrahim Abdul-Matin yang bertajuk Green Deen: What Islam Teaches about Protecting the Planet. Interesting!


THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Thursday, April 4, 2019

7 Lessons in Manhood that I Learned from Shazam! the Movie (Let's Make #3 A Campaign)


I watched Shazam! last weekend Sunday, and I love it! Please ignore those who want to compare DC vs. Marvel movies or whatever know-it-all ‘fans’ who say you should watch this or that or this is not good or this is better… just ignore them. Shazam! is a very energetic and emotional movie. Actually, the development of Shazam! film began in the early 2000s but was delayed for many years. The film went into pre-production in 2008 with Dwayne Johnson (“The Rock”) considered to star as the villain Black Adam, but the project fell through. Sad, but let’s see if Black Adam ever appear in Shazam! next movie or have its own solo movie, Black Adam. Excited! Whatever happened to Black Adam, this is for sure: In February 2017, David F. Sandberg signed on to direct Shazam! and make it happened. Zachary Levi was cast as kid-man-superhero, SHAZAM, who have the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power from Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury.

I like the way Levi plays the character Shazam (formerly known as Captain Marvel, long story…). Because Shazam is actually a boy named William Joseph “Billy” Batson, he thinks and acts like a boy but physically he is a man. The essence of childishness in the character makes it so fun to watch. Love it! On my way back from the cinema, I contemplate what I’ve learned from this movie. One word came to mind – manhood. Let me explain:

#1 Every Man Wants to Know Where He Is Coming From. Billy Batson is a troublesome kid. In the early part of the movie, Billy is arrested by the police after he lures and traps the officers to assist in his search for his mother. Ms. Glover, the childcare officer told Billy, “You’ve run from foster homes in six counties.” “I can take care of myself,” replied Billy. “Yes… when you’re eighteen,” Ms. Glover rolled her eyes. She looked at the couple outside and said, “Give these people a chance, because that’s what they’re giving you.” Why Billy falls into such a mess? Because he wanted to know where his mother is. He is looking for his real mother, imagining that his mother also looking for him. He wanted to know what happened during the day he separated from his mother. He wanted to know where he is coming from. Terry Pratchett, author of I Shall Wear Midnight, observes: “It is important that we know where we come from, because if you do not know where you come from, then you don't know where you are, and if you don't know where you are, you don't know where you're going. And if you don't know where you're going, you're probably going wrong.” If a man knows where he is coming from, he can: 1) Accept his past and move on; 2) Change what needs to be changed, and 3) Take Responsibility for who he is becoming.
                                                                                                      
#2 Every Man Needs to Know That He Is Loved. When Billy's step-siblings realize that he is Shazam and told him that they found his mother, Billy runs from home and meets his mother. This scene is very emotional (I almost cry). When he finally met his mother, she told him that she purposely abandoned him because she could not take care of him (a single parent) as well as the police could. Sad. But thanks to a lovely couple, Victor and Rosa Vasquez, who can answer that question – Am I loved? – to Billy when he needed it the most. The Vasquez couple accepts Billy as their own, as he is and love him. What’s amazing is that Billy not only have new parents who care for him but he also found a new family. Joel Osteen, speaks to men (as well as women) when he says, “No matter what storm you face, you need to know that God loves you.” You may not have a lovely parent(s) or great siblings, you need to know that – no matter what – God loves you.

#3 Every Man Must Stand Up Against Bullies. Billy has a good brother and friend, do you remember how they meet? Rosa Vasquez introduces Billy to Freddy Freeman, “This is Billy Batson. Make sure you make him feel at home.” Then as both of them entered the room, Freddy told Billy, “They seem nice [Pause]. But don’t buy it. It gets a real Game of Thrones around here.” Billy looks worried. Freddy chuckled, funny scene, “Dude, just messing around. You look at me and you’re like, ‘Why so dark? You’re a disabled foster kid. You’ve got it all.’” Funny! One day, Freddy gets beaten by a bully at school. As they pushed him, they said, “What, you need your fake family to stand up for you???” That question or statement triggered Billy. “Hey,” Billy called them and used Freddy’s walking crutch to hit the boys. “Man, sorry about that.” And then he runs away. Billy doesn’t need a superpower to stand against bullies. He knows that bully is bullshit! When Shazam fight against Dr. Sivana, that villiant-bullies, his siblings stand beside him. Nick Vujicic, the author of Stand Strong, writes, “I encourage you to develop empathy for others like the Good Samaritan showed. Please do everything you can to protect others from emotional and physical harm caused by bullies… Stand together so no one will stand alone!” As a man, you need to stand against bullies. Don’t run away, fight! Don’t close your eyes, take action! And don’t do it alone, call others too, protect!

#4 Every Man Hunger for Encouragement and Love Ones to Believe In Him. Since young Thaddeus Sivana hungers for his father’s affection and brother’s recognition. When he was magically transported to the Rock of Eternity, he fell into one of the Seven Deadly Sins temptations when he touches the Eye of Envy (his weakness). For years, Dr. Sivana tries to prove that he is worthy but like most villains-to-be, it became his obsession and causes the death of many lives including his own father and brother. I wonder, what if his father shows his love for young Sivana? What if the brother, instead of being annoying, be supportive to his little brother? Now, men, ask these two questions to yourself. Readers (parents, spouse, friends, co-workers, bosses), do you see the importance of encouragements and believe in someone? Mahatma Gandhi once said, “Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even If I didn't have it in the beginning.Equally important for men is when others – especially their loved ones – believe in them. After running away from the bullies and getting on a train, Billy hears a voice, “I choose you as champion.” That’s the statement that every man hunger to hear… “I… Choose… You… As… Champion.”

#5 Every Man Requires Mentor(s) to Teach Him How To Be a Man. Obviously, Billy lacks a father figure. Everyone - regardless of culture, race, and ethnicity - understand that the role of the father or father figure is critically important to the task of taking young boys from boyhood into manhood. Billy, a foster kid, is fatherless. How about The Wizard? Well... The Wizard is like an instant-noodle father figure. Instead of taking the time to mentor him to be a man, The Wizard just transformed Billy instantly to be a grown up with god-like abilities. “Say my name so that my powers may flow through you,” instructs The Wizard to Billy. “But I don’t know your name, sir,” he replied. “Shazam.” Billy turned from fear to amuse, “Are you for real?” He chuckled. The Wizard commanded, “Say it!” “Okay! Sh... Shazam?!” Done! You see, The Wizard doesn’t teach him how to fight, how to fly or how to use his potentials. That’s up to himself (the wisdom of Solomon helps). Only with the help of his brother, Freddy, that he slowly discovers his strengths. “What are your superpowers?” asked Freddy curiously. The grown-up Billy explained, “Superpowers? Dude, I don’t even know how to pee in this thing!” And then, they do some tests and experiments. I’m glad that at the end of the movie, Superman (teasing) appeared. Perhaps Superman can guide, mentor and help Shazam to explore his potentials and to use his power to do good. After all, in the inside, Shazam is a kid. Although The Wizard said that Billy has “a pure heart,” he still needs an experienced and good mentor(s) like Superman, the Man of Steel. Conrado I. Generoso puts it this way: “No man is capable of self-improvement if he sees no other model but himself.”


#6 Every Man Should Empower Others to Be Superhero Too. In the fight against Dr. Sivana at a carnival, Shazam uses The Wizard’s staff to give power to his siblings, causing them to also become adult superheroes with powers. Each member of The Shazam Family fight against each of the seven spirits of the Deadly Sins. At the end [cliché], they manage to defeat the enemies and all of them are considered superheroes in the city. That’s a good ending... not only Billy, but all of his siblings are heroes too! One powerful man can only do so much. If he empowered others, he can do much more. In my opinion, the greatest legacy a man can have under his influence is to empower others to be better than himself.

#7 Every Man Dreams Is to Be Part of Something Bigger than Himself. One of the biggest lessons I learned from this movie is this: All of us [men, especially] are capable and have potential to do great things in the world, all we need is a little ‘magic.’ What ‘magic’ do we men really need? For Billy, the word is, “Shazam!” For us? It’s not as easy as that. What man need is to do this one thing, a ‘magic’ word, namely, SERVE” and do it often. To serve others is to do something bigger than ourselves. A man does not become whole until he becomes a part of something bigger than himself. “It was men who stopped slavery. It was men who ran up the stairs in the Twin Towers to rescue people. It was men who gave up their seats on the lifeboats of the Titanic,” writes John Eldredge, author of Wild At Heart, “Men are made to take risks and live passionately on behalf of others.” If you’re Christ follower, you don’t need the wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules, the stamina of Atlas, the power from Zeus, the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury to serve others. You have something greater... the Spirit of God is within you! (refer to Romans 8:9).

Men, imagine, a Voice says this to you: “[Your name], I choose you as champion.”
What you’re going to do?
THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

To read 8 Lessons I Learned from Captain Marvel (No #7 Is the Cutest One),
CLICK HERE



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Friday, November 16, 2018

How to Fix A Broken Heart (2018) by Dr. Guy Winch, Book Review


How to Fix A Broken Heart (2018) by Dr. Guy Winch

You fall in love. You break someone’s heart. Your heart is broken. How to deal with this universal experience? Guy Winch is a licensed psychologist, author, and keynote speaker. His first TED Talk, Why We All Need to Practice Emotional First Aid, has been viewed more than 50 million times (also, check out his latest TED Talk on the same book title). "A brok
en heart is unmistakable. We think of nothing else. We feel nothing else," writes Guy. "And often, we can do nothing else except sit with the immense pain, grief, and loss. Heartbreak can last for days, weeks, months, and even years." 

Yet while we wouldn't expect someone to go to work or function well with a broken limb, heartbroken people are expected to function in their lives despite the emotional pain they feel. Whether it comes in the form of romantic love or through loss, heartbreak is ubiquitous. Yet we know so little about how to deal with it. With great wisdom and empathy, Guy explores how different our lives and our society would be if we better understood this unique emotional pain. 


Imagine we treated broken hearts with the same respect and concern we have for broken arms. Guy urges us to rethink the way we deal with emotional pain, offering warm, wise, and witty advice for the broken-hearted. Our hearts might be broken, we do not have to break with them. We can take control of our lives and our minds and put ourselves on the path of healing. This book (with superb illustrations by Henn Kim) published by TED Books, offers a 'toolkit' for how to handle and cope with a broken heart and how to - eventually - move on. There are four (4) chapters in this book, and I include some of my favorite quotes for each chapter:


Chapter 1: How the Brokenhearted Are Abandoned. “Our journey through heartbreak is determined by multiple variables: the specific nature of the relationship or loss, our fundamental character and coping styles, our individual and familial histories, the current context of our lives, and how we manage or mismanage our recovery. The last crucial variable that impacts our recovery is also the one most likely to disappoint us – our available support systems: friends and family, communities, schools, and places of employment”; “Most of us know of only two healing agents: social support and time”; “When our heart is broken, what determines others’ compassion is not how much emotional pain we actually feel but how much emotional pain they believe we should feel”; “Creating mysteries and conspiracies where none exist is a common response to romantic breakups”; “The worst thing we could do for ourselves when we are hurting is to internalize [it], become self-critical as a result, and deny ourselves the very empathy and support we so badly need.”

Chapter 2: When Hearts Break, Brains and Bodies Break Too. “Heartbreak is a hijacker. The emotional anguish it causes invades our thoughts, captures our attention, seizes our focus, and dominates our awareness”; “Reliving old memories and going through pictures is something many of us might do in the first hours, days or even weeks following a breakup… like a drug addict… We become intensely focused on the person who broke our heart (the ‘drug’)”; “In the era of social media, the most common way people satisfy their craving for the person who broke their heart is to stalk them digitally”; “Difficult as it is to unfriend, unfollow, block or delete our access to the person’s cyber world, it is the only prudent way to prevent ourselves from stalking them again in the future”; effects of heartbreak such as “panic attacks”, “cardiac abnormalities”, “stress” lead to depression, “suppressed immune system functioning” and more; “Heartbreak impacts our minds, our brains, and our bodies in direct, measurable, and unfortunate ways… to heal from a broken heart we have to first stop making things worse.”

Chapter 3: The Many Mistakes that Set Us Back. “Having a clear understanding of why things ended helps us reach closure much sooner than we might otherwise”; “Psychologically speaking, negative cognitions [inaccurate thoughts or beliefs that make us feel bad about ourselves] have three key features: they are self-critical, harmful or limiting; they are inaccurate to some degree; and most problematic, we tend to be convinced they are true”; “Our ‘cravings’ for them [ex] make us focus disproportionally in their best qualities... [Don’t!]… The best way to avoid idealizing the person who broke our heart is to deliberately force a balanced perspective in our mind”; “Avoiding things [memories of the person, places, activates together] does not lessen their emotional impact on us – it supersizes it… the best way to do so is by revisiting these places under different and specific circumstances so we can create new associations for them”; “We must be willing to make one crucial decision – to let go.” 
Chapter 4: Healing Starts with the Mind. “Our body’s priority is always to heal and keep us alive… but our mind’s priority is… to keep us away from situations that have hurt us in the past. The more painful an experience is, the harder the mind will work to make sure we do not make that ‘mistake’ again… to that end, when our heart is broken, our mind tries to keep our pain fresh and unforgettable…”; “Our bodies heal well automatically. Our minds do not”; “To fully heal when our heart is broken, we have to look in the mirror (metaphorically and perhaps literally) and tell ourselves it’s time to let go. And that can be extremely difficult… we need to let go our hope, of the fantasy in which we undo what went wrong… we need to truly say good-bye – to turn away from love, even when there is no longer a person or animal there to receive it… we need to let go of a part of ourselves, of the person we were when our love still mattered”; “We have to rebuild our self-esteem by practicing self-compassion”; “Emotional pain should not and need not be a constant companion.”

Epilogue: Making Emotional Pain Visible. “When societies do not sanction grief, we internalize these standards and regard our own emotions and reactions as less legitimate… If emotional pain we visible, heartbreak and the suffering if caused would not remain disenfranchised for long. When we show up to work or school with a broken leg, arm, or even a broken finger, we often garner more attention, concern, and consideration, because we can see the splints or bandages, than we are likely to when our heart is broken. They are there as evidence that we hurt. And yet, broken bones inflict none of the profound cognitive, emotional, and psychological impairments heartbreak does”; “Heartbreak is all around us. It’s time we open our eyes and see it, for only then can we truly heal it and move on.”

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.


[P.s: Why you need to buy a book? Borrow from your local library!]
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Thursday, October 25, 2018

4 Basic Biblical Responses: Thinking About Homosexuality



Yesterday I had a Bible Study with UCSI Sarawak Christian Fellowship (CF). This week we continue to the second part of the unChristian series on Thinking about Homosexuality. The purpose of this series is to challenge youths to think about real hard issues around us. Today was good and lively. I shared my stories encountered with this issue, they asked questions, we respond to one another and agree on the Scriptures. Here are Four (4) Basic Biblical Responses based on Mark 2:13-17 that I shared with them:

#1 With the Exception of Jesus, We Are All Sinners (Romans 3:23). One struggle with homosexuality, one with pornography. One with gossips, one with murderous-hatred. One with hypocrisy, one with doubt. Levi, the tax collector, money swindler; the Pharisees, prideful religious. Don't judge (with self-righteous attitude) someone just because they sin differently than you do. Knowing that we - Christ followers - are redeemed sinners, humble us.

#2 We Must Treat One Another with Compassion and Love. Every human being has dignity and made in the image of God. Jesus, in the Bible, has compassion for the people because they are like sheep without a shepherd. And what He did? He reached down to them, be with the people and love them unconditionally. Remember, Jesus eats with the sinners. If you cast away, avoid or reject those who are 'different' in sexuality from you, then how they can experience the love of Christ? Who will witness Christ's love to them? There is no discrimination in friendship. No boundaries, no walls. Talk and listen, really listen to understand. Be a friend and be a real friend.

#3 Stand Firm in the Faith: Accept Homosexuals Doesn't Mean We Approve Their Lifestyles. The Bible is clear on homosexual, and it is clear also that we don't have to be a jerk! Draw the line, you don't have to be confused or denying the truth. Hold on to the biblical standard. Be a principle Christian. I said this to my homosexual friend, "I'm straight and I deny homosexual lifestyles, but I'm still your friend. I want to be your friend." Jesus eats with the sinners. He was with sinners the most part of His earthly life. He was called “friend of sinners.” But do you think Jesus approved of their lifestyle? No! Jesus was able to stand firm in His Word and at the same time draw sinners to Himself. He remained holy, set apart. We MUST, and we CAN do the same. Only let the Holy Spirit lead you. Be firm and be kind are not opposed to one another.

#4 Finally, Change Is Possible! Homosexuality is not a simple issue - it is complex. We must know and acknowledge that. It's hard and very challenging for them. But again, nothing is impossible for God. I was blind, now I see. I was lame, now I walk. I was dumb, now I can talk. Change can be slow, gradual and hard. But it is possible. When Levi first met Jesus, he was a tax collector (leader of the sinners); then he follows Jesus, he became a disciple, then his life changed, and we called him now as Matthew, the gospel writer.

So, humble yourself, #1 Know that we are all sinners (or redeemed sinners); #2 Treat one another, regardless of their sexuality or lifestyle, with compassion and love; #3 Stand firm in your faith, don't deny the truth; and #4 Pray and trust that change is possible! God can do it.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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Saturday, June 16, 2018

Book Review: A Leader’s Legacy (2006) by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner


A Leader’s Legacy (2006) by Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner

One of the top leadership books recommended by other leaders is The Leadership Challenge by the same authors. Since I found this one in the library, and this one is the latest between the two and is shorter in volume than the other, and since each chapter in this book is briefer and nontechnical like the other one – I borrowed this one and I’m pleased with my decision. Satisfied customer! The idea of this book begins when their editor, Susan Williams, wanted both of them to write a book that was “a free-flowing exploration of leadership topics and lessons” that they learned over about two decades of experiences. She challenged them to “come down from the podium” and to be “much more personal, introspective, subtler, and at times, more blunt” in their writing style. And so this book is concise lessons that they learned in all those years. As a reader, this is good because it means I don’t have to read their other books.

What interest me about this book is the word “legacy.” Either you’re a leader or a leader with no formal title or a student of leadership (like me), every leader I’ve ever worked and talked with wants to leave a legacy. Thinking about our legacies requires us to move beyond short-term definitions of success. Legacies encompass past, present, and future, and when I pondered about my legacy, I’m forced to consider where I’ve been, where I’m now and where I’m going. I’m brought face-to-face with questions of who I am and why I’m here. “By asking ourselves how we want to be remembered,” writes Kouzes and Posner, “we plant the seeds for living our lives as if we matter. By living each day as if we matter, we offer up our own unique legacy. By offering up our own unique legacy, we make the world we inhabit a better place than we found it.”

Even though there were little ‘new ideas’ on leadership in this book, I’m challenged to think (or focus-thinking) about the legacies that I want to leave behind me. I’ve read books on leadership that touch on the subject of legacy, but none as intentional, personal, and provocative as this one. Here Kouzes and Posner examine in 21 chapters – arranged into four parts – the critical questions all leaders must ask themselves in order to leave a lasting impact. Below are the contents with my selection of quotes for each part:

Part One: SIGNIFICANCE

When we move on, people do not remember us for what we do for ourselves. They remember us for what we do for them. They are the inheritors of our work. One of the great joys and grave responsibilities of leaders is making sure that those in their care live lives not only of success but also of significance” (p.10)

Chapter 1: Leaders Serve and Sacrifice
Chapter 2: The Best Leaders Are Teachers
Chapter 3: We All Need Loving Critics
Chapter 4: You Are the Most Important Leader in Your Organization
Chapter 5: No One Likes to Be an Assumption

Part Two: RELATIONSHIP

Leadership is a relationship. It’s a relationship between those who choose to follow. Whatever the relationship is with one or many, leadership requires engaging others. No matter how much formal power and authority our positions give us, we’ll only leave a lasting legacy if others want to be in that relationship with us. Other people decide whether to follow or to run away. Others decide whether to cheer or jeer. Others decide whether to remember us or forget us. No discussion of leadership is complete without considering the quality of the leader-constituent relationship. Leadership requires a resonant connection with others over matters of the heart” (p.48).

Chapter 6: Leadership Is Personal
Chapter 7: Leaders Should Want to Be Liked
Chapter 8: When You Don’t See Eye to Eye, Seek to Understand
Chapter 9: You Can’t Take Trust for Granted
Chapter 10: Let Your People Go

Part 3: ASPIRATIONS

People commit to causes, not to plans. Commitment is fuelled by what we cherish. If the values about which we care deeply are vividly clear to us, then the whims of fashion and the opinion polls won’t side-track us. A lasting legacy is built on a firm foundation of principles and purpose... Leaders must decide on what matters in life, before they can live a life that matters” (p.90).

Chapter 11: Lead from the Inside Out
Chapter 12: Forward-Looking Is a Leadership Prerequisite
Chapter 13: It’s Not Just the Leader’s Vision
Chapter 14: Liberate the Leader in Everyone
Chapter 15: Leaders Are Followers, Too!

Part 4: COURAGE

Leaving a legacy is all about making a difference. We can only make a difference when we take stands. Every one of us is capable of taking stands on things that matter. That’s what it really means to live a courageous life. It takes courage to realize your dreams and to give meaning to your values. If you’re going to leave a legacy of lasting significance, it’ll be the result of acting courageously… Courageous is the virtue that makes all other virtues possible” (p.132).

Chapter 16: There’s Courage in All of Us
Chapter 17: You Can’t Plan to Be Courageous, But You Can Choose It
Chapter 18: It Takes Courage to Make a Life
Chapter 19: The Courage to Be Human
Chapter 20: Failure Is Always an Option
Chapter 21: No Money-Back Guarantee

Afterward: The Legacy You Leave Is the Life You Lead

The afterward title is worth repeating, read and let it sink in your mind. Read slowly:
The Legacy You Leave Is the Life You Lead. Lead on!

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Thursday, May 31, 2018

John C. Maxwell on Leadership #20 Understanding People Pays Great Dividends


The ability to understand people is one of the greatest assets anyone can ever have. It has the potential to positively impact every area of your life, not just the business arena. For example, look at how understanding people helped this mother of a pre-schooler. She said,

“Leaving my four-year-old son in the house, I ran out to throw something in the trash. When I tried to open the door to get back inside, I was locked. I knew that insisting that my son open the door would have resulted in an hour-long battle of the wills. So in a sad voice, I said, ‘Oh, too bad. You just locked yourself in the house.’ The door opened at once.”

Understanding people certainly impacts your ability to communicate with others. David Burns, a medical professor of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania, observed, “The biggest mistake you can make in trying to talk convincingly is to put your highest priority on expressing your ideas and feelings. What most people really want is to be listened to, respected, and understood. The moment people see that they are being understood, they become more motivated to understand your point of view.”  If you can learn to understand people – how they think, what they feel, what inspires them, how they’re likely to act and react in a given situation – then you can motivate and influence them in a positive way.

[Except from Becoming a Person of Influence: How to Positively Impact the Lives of Others (2006) by John C. Maxwell with Jim Dornan. Published by Thomas Nelson Inc.]

Make understanding people your top priority today.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Sunday, May 20, 2018

John C. Maxwell on Leadership #18 The Value of Listening


Edgar Watson Howe once joked, “No man would listen to you talk if he didn’t know it was his turn next.” Unfortunately, that accurately describes the way too many people approach communication – they’re too busy waiting for their turn to really listen to others. But people of influence understand the incredible value of becoming a good listener. For example, when Lyndon B. Johnson was a junior senator from Texas, he kept a sign on his office wall that read: “You ain’t learnin’ nothin’ when you’re doing all the talkin’.” And Woodrow Wilson, the 28th American president, once said, “The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people.”

The ability to skillfully listen is one key to gaining influence with others. Consider these benefits to listening that we’ve found:

Listening shows respect
Listening builds relationship
Listening increases knowledge
Listening generates ideas
Listening builds loyalty

Roger G. Imhoff urged, “Let others confide in you. It may not help you, but it surely will help them.” At first glance, listening to others may appear to benefit only them. But when you become a good listener, you put yourself in position to help yourself too. You have the ability to develop strong relationships, gather valuable information, and increase your understanding of yourself and others.

Focus on Listening to Others Today

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Wednesday, May 16, 2018

Self-Leadership #1 Ask Yourself Tough Questions


Leadership is founded on the belief that you can only become a leader after developing your character – that is, after building integrity, honesty, and commitment. The way to develop these attributes is through self-knowledge. You can't improve what you don't understand.

The first steps on the road to self-knowledge involve asking ourselves tough questions. For example; Is there an overriding purpose in my life, a purpose that is vivid and precise, a purpose I am committed to, a purpose that makes sense in everything I do?

It is sometimes helpful to recall the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson: "What is my job on the planet? What it is that needs doing, that I know something about, that probably won't happen unless I take responsibility for it?"

We can only identify this purpose by taking a hard look at ourselves and giving ourselves the quiet time necessary to seek the answers. But answering the question of purpose begs other important questions. For example; Am I going to allow my life to be controlled by the crush of daily activities, or will I live my life in accordance with my purpose? Do day-to-day urgencies always have to shove higher-order concerns to the side? Always?

Sometimes a purpose and a career are incompatible, and something has to give (I don't think one could be both a cop and a bank robber for very long). But sometimes a particular purpose can be squared with a particular career. It may take nothing more than re-examining your career, asking some questions, and discovering a purpose you have overlooked in the past.

Here are three steps you can take on the road to self-knowledge:

Get to Know Yourself: You can't improve upon something you don't understand. The more questions you ask yourself, the better you'll know yourself.

Learn from Failure: Failure can bring some of the toughest questions of all. If you answer them fully and honestly, you may learn more from failure than you do from success.

Don't Run for the sake of Running: Make sure you're headed somewhere. If you're going all out without a clear destination in mind, slow down and ask some more questions.


THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Thursday, March 8, 2018

Help Child Deal with Divorce #6 Annabel, Helps Your Parents to Understand You


Dear Annabel,

Your mom and dad can get really angry with each other during a divorce. It's pretty normal for them to argue, and it's pretty normal for you to want to stop them. I used to think that way too, I want my parents to stop arguing with one another. But there is one thing that you need to understand: We cannot work things out for them. They need to do it for themselves. Your parents need to resolve their own problems. You have the right to feel sad, to be angry, even cry. After all said and done, at the end of the day, you have to stay calm. And as you already know, it's not always easy to do…

            Your parents are there to help you, but during a divorce, they might be stressed, angry, sad, confused, frustrated and depressed. Their judgment clouded and sometimes they're so caught up in their own issues that they forget about you. Not that they stop loving you, they're just distracted. And you know what Annabel, they might need your help instead. It's perfectly fine to try to help them get through this difficult time. Although you can't possibly make them feel better (you might feeling pretty bad yourself), you can try to empathize. I have reminded your dad that he must be empathizing to you too. To understand you. In the same way, you need to try to understand both of your parents.

            For them to understand you, you need to communicate and to be honest about how you are feeling and let them know in a calm way what you need. Like uncle said, they don't really know how you feel unless you tell them. If they know, they, on the other hand, can help you feel safe and loved. In this way, you help them to understand you.

   See you soon,
Angelus


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Friday, December 1, 2017

Things I Wish My Father Knew #2 Where to Find Instruction and Guidance?


We live in a changing society –
technologically…
morally.

The role expectations for fathers
are quite different today
than in grandfather’s day!

House husband?
Chances are
your grandfather
never heard of such thing.

New rules for the game of life?

No! Our Creator’s precepts for life
are changeless.

So… where do you go for
Instruction…
Guidance…
Support?

Where can you find unchanging standard
for this increasingly complicated
role of fatherhood?

Try your own Heavenly Father!

Because of His infinite love
for his own children,
His Word will instruct you,
His example will guide you, and
His love will support you.

Stand firmly on the unchanging
Word of God!

I the Lord do not change
(Malachi 3:6)

Your Word, O LORD,
is eternal;
it stands firm
in the heavens.

Your Laws endure
to this day,
for all things serve you.

… I will ponder your statutes.

Your statutes are wonderful;
therefore I obey them.

The entrance of your words
gives light;
it gives understanding
to the simple.”
(Psalm 119:89, 91, 95, 129, 130)


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Sunday, February 7, 2016

Jesus Challenges Us to a Deeper Level of Understanding (Mark 8:22-26)


[Jesus and His disciples] came to Bethsaida, and some people brought a blind man and begged Jesus to touch him. He took the blind man by the hand and led him outside the village. When he had spit on the man’s eyes and put his hands on him, Jesus asked, ‘Do you see anything?’ He looked up and said, ‘I see people; they look like trees walking around’
(Mark 8:22-24,
NIV, bracket mine).

The healing miracle of a blind man at Bethsaida is only recorded by Mark. In this case, Jesus took the man away from the crowd before performing the miracle. Why Jesus “took the blind man by the hand”? Why Jesus “led him outside the village”? Why Jesus “spit on the man’s eyes”? I’m not sure what’s really going on here. But for sure this miracle remind me that Jesus is always responded with compassion to people’s need; and based on the context of this text, Jesus wanted to show to his disciples that spiritual insight (they were lack of it, Mark 8:14-21) is similar to the man’s physical insight – it will be restore gradually and fully by faith (as in Mark 8:27-30).

Again, I don’t know why Jesus “took the blind man by the hand” personally, when one of His disciples could have done it. But like spiritual blindness, Jesus wanted to lead us because only He can show us “the way” (John 14:6) to all spiritual truth. Jesus “led him outside the village” probably because He desires the blind man – and even us – to have a more personal one-to-one relationship with Him. In Christianity, spiritual insight and truth will not be reveal in the form of doctrine or theology but in a Person – Jesus is “the truth” (John 14:6). When Jesus “spit on the man’s eyes”, it shows to me that Jesus doesn’t have a fix method of healing. In the same way, Jesus can use whatever method He wills to open our spiritual insight in order for us to see and to realize that He is “the life” (John 14:6).

From “blind” to seeing people “look like trees walking around” to see “everything clearly” (Mark 8:25), the man’s eyes were gradually healed. Why Jesus did the healing in two stages? It may have been because of the man’s lack of faith. His faith was there but it’s not enough; our sight was there but it was not complete. And just as there would be complete healing for the blind man, there is hope for us too. It’s not that Jesus is unable to heal our spiritual insight thoroughly the first time, but Jesus wants us to experience the process of learning the truth of God.

I wonder why after Jesus had done this great miracle, He said to the man, “Don’t even go into the village” (Mark 8:26)? Why not? Most commentaries explained that Jesus didn’t want people to know Him as merely a healer or miracle worker. He don’t want an immediate out pouring of sick people coming to Him for healing and hinder His ultimate mission which is the healing of people’s souls. This explanation is valid and reasonable. But I would like to suggest another additional reason, namely, Jesus wants the man to go home to his family members first and tell them how much He has done for him, and how He has had mercy on him (just like in Mark 5:19). After all, the most important people we want to share the Good News of Jesus Christ after we’re given spiritual insight are those who closest to us!

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Saturday, February 6, 2016

Jesus doesn't Wants Us to Hide Behind Masks of Religious Piety (Mark 8:14-21)


The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. ‘Be careful,’ Jesus warned them. ‘Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.’ They discussed this with one another and said, ‘It is because we have no bread.’ Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: ‘Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? …He said to them, ‘Do you still not understand?’
(Mark 8:14-18, 21, NIV).

Have pity on Jesus’ disciples. They are like us sometimes. They misunderstood Jesus’ teaching altogether. When Jesus said, “Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod,” their minds are still taken up with everyday physical matters like food, but Jesus was talking about spiritual matters. They could’ve ask Jesus further about what He meant, but instead they discussed the fact that they hadn’t brought enough bread to eat on their trip! But Jesus was warning them against something much more serious than forgetting their picnic basket. Luke, another Gospel writer, gave a more complete account of Jesus’ statement when He said, “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy” (Luke 12:1). Matthew on the other hand, write that Jesus was talking about “the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (Matthew 16:12). So, Jesus was talking about their hypocrisy in conducts and teachings! [Note: Many “that of Herod” or Herodians were also Sadducees]

From my reading of the Scriptures, Jesus hate extremely these two things: unbelieve and hypocrisy. What is hypocrisy? Simply stated, it is pretending to be something or someone you’re not – putting up a front in order to conceal your true identity. The Greek word actually means, “playacting,” originally referred to the Greek dramatists who were famous for their masks (they act using masks). By the time of Jesus, the Pharisees were such accomplished hypocrites that they could have won Malaysia’s Anugerah Drama Festival! Remember what Jesus’ statement about them? “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (Mark 7:6). They concentrated on appearing righteous and religious in front of people, but it was only playacting. They were really far from God in their hearts.

Jesus compared hypocrisy to “yeast” or leaven. Why? Because when yeast is added to bread dough, it causes the bread to rise beyond its normal size. Thus, if you study a slice of bread, you’ll find that it is full of holes and empty inside. In the same way, like hypocrisy, even though they appear full and perfect looking on the outside, but in the inside it is full of holes and lots of empty spaces. Jesus had stronger words for the Pharisees and their hypocrisy than any other human condition. Because of their hypocrisy, they become unbelieve to what is obviously true, namely, Jesus’ divinity shows through His miracle (Mark 8:1-13).

If God does not want His people hiding behind masks of religious piety, then, what does He want? Let me suggest, how about being transparent. A transparent Christian is one who is completely honest about him or herself to others and especially to God. People can see right through them – they are not wearing any hypocritical masks. They not trying to act out a role which is different from what they really are. When they are fine, they are fine. But when they sinned against God or against others, they are ready to say, “Forgive me, I’ve done you wrongly” (See how a hypocrite and a transparent-person respond to their sin in Luke 18:9-14). Being transparent is important for Christians. We all blow it on occasion – angry words, hateful deeds, failure and sin. The key to recovery in such situations is not hypocrisy such as think positive thoughts, positive confessions, etc. Don’t pretending! Admitting to God and to your Christian brothers and sisters that you are less than perfect and that you are in need of forgiveness and restoration.

Being a transparent person isn’t easy. That’s for sure. Jesus was the most transparent person who ever walked the earth and He was treated rather badly for it. But it’s the kind of life-style God is looking for in His people. For some of you that might mean humiliation as you apologize to a group of friends for show-off hypocritically and judgmental attitude. Or it might mean embarrassment as you confess to your pastor or friends in the church that you’re still struggle with some particular sins and in need of prayers. Don’t be too concern with what people think of you, what God think about you is all that matter eternally. Be transparent. Don’t “play the role” but “live it like it is.” If you’re transparent and be honest to God, He can do something great in you. Do you understand now?

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Saturday, November 21, 2015

Jesus Warned Us: Don't Guide or Advice Him, Just Follow Him


But Peter took [Jesus] aside and began to reprimand him for saying such things, ‘Heaven forbid, Lord,’ he said. ‘This will never happen to you!’ Jesus turned to Peter and said, ‘Get away from me, Satan! You are seeing things merely from a human point of view, not from God’s’
(Matthew 16:22-23, NLT).

Right after confessed his heartfelt belief in Jesus as “the Messiah, the Son of the living God” (16:16) and having been given great authority in the Kingdom of Heaven (16:18-19), Peter was shaken to hear Jesus predict these terrible events. He must have wondered what Jesus’ death would mean for the disciples, specifically for him. So Peter began to “reprimand” or rebuke Jesus. The word translated “reprimand” is a strong term meaning that Peter was, in fact, rejecting Jesus’ interpretation of the Messiah as a suffering figure. He was against Jesus’ plan. He disagreed. Peter, in effect, was trying to talk Jesus out of going to the Cross. But if Jesus hadn’t suffered and died, Peter would have died in his sins. And do all of us.

Shortly before this interaction, Jesus had told Peter, “You are blessed, Simon son of John” (16:17). But at this point Jesus told him, “Get away from me, Satan!” What happened? Peter had quickly turned from God’s perspective to evaluating the situation from a “human point of view.” (Jesus doesn’t mean, Peter = Satan). In the process, Peter was either being used by Satan or using one of Satan’s tactics in trying to protect his beloved Master or both. Notice this: Peter and other disciples were motivated by love and admiration for Jesus, nevertheless, their job was not to guide or advice and protect him but to follow him. Unknowingly, the disciples were trying to prevent Jesus from going to the Cross and fulfilling his grand mission. Only after Jesus’ death and resurrection would they understand why he had to die.

Think about this: When Satan tempted Jesus in the wilderness (see Matthew 4), he tried to get him to look at his life and the world from a human point of view. But Jesus dismissed Satan’s plan by the Word of God. Jesus remain in God’s perspective. Why endure a cross when you can have an earthly crown? But God’s perspective changes everything. Way more important than any earthly fame, fortune, relationships, or power is doing what God wants. This life is but a prelude to eternal life with Him. Amen.

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