How To Become A People Magnet: 62 Life-Changing Tips To Attract Everyone You Meet (2019) by Marc Reklau, Book Review

 How To Become A People Magnet: 62 Life-Changing Tips To Attract Everyone You Meet (2019) by Marc Reklau

Bad news: I've not become a people magnet after I finished reading it. Good news: This book reminds me to at least try to increase my magnet-ism or be a less annoying person (or don't make it worse! It is hard to be one if one of my heroes of faith is John the Baptist). Hey, these are "tips" not a book of spells, and reading alone will not make any difference in anyone's social lives if not practiced. It is application, not knowledge, that transforms people. For sure, salespeople need to read this book! But it is also good for anyone who wants to improve their social skills and relationships. The author writes, "The most successful people are usually the ones who best get along with people. (Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule). Science tells us that the number one predictor of success and lasting happiness is our social relationships. People with a strong social network even live longer!"

I've observed how tactless young people are today when they try to communicate with others. I've seen how insensitive people are when interacting with those who are younger than them. I've witnessed many awkward communications between students and coworkers. Some people say technologies and gadgets are the enemy, but it's not entirely true. I think it's our personal belief that says (at its core), "People are not important; I am!" Ryan Holiday's book title summed it up well: "Ego is the enemy.” Even if egoistic people seem interested in building relationships, their main goal is not to serve but to use others, not to build but to manipulate others. Thus, these tips can be used for both good and evil, but as the Scripture says, "There is nothing concealed that it will not be revealed, nor so hidden that it will not be made known."

This short book is divided into seven (7) parts. Some tips are very common sense ("Be friendly"), too positive ("Don't criticize"), and probably not suitable for certain types of people ("Praise and praise a lot!"). Most tips are good reminders ("Listen to people actively"), practical ("How to make a good impression"), and humbling ("Talk about your own mistakes first"). There are a few tips that I know I need to practice, but I just can't imagine myself doing them. My excuse is my personality, but in high probability, it's my ego. Lord, help me, a sinner. By the way, on a related topic, I want to recommend these books:

• Winning With People and 25 Ways to Win With People by John C. Maxwell

• How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

• The Rules of People by Richard Templar

• The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene

 #ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #HowToBecomeAPeopleMagnet #MarcReklau #PeopleSkills #Relationships #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read my other book reviews/summaries, CLICK HERE

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The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication: Apply Them and Make the Most of Your Message (2023) by John C. Maxwell, Audiobook Review

 The 16 Undeniable Laws of Communication: Apply Them and Make the Most of Your Message (2023) by John C. Maxwell

You can have the greatest idea in the world, the most loving heart in the universe, and the wisest wisdom in heaven, but if you cannot communicate your ideas, feelings, and thoughts well, all these are powerless. Robert Frost humorously but rightly observes: "Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can’t, and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it." Communication skills are important. I once had a friend during Bible study who I sensed had something worth saying but couldn't express well because he was struggling to find words, phrases, and ways to communicate his points. Blessed message but poorly executed. Have you experienced the same thing?

This is why - especially if you're a leader but also not necessarily because everyone communicates in one form or another - you need to learn how to communicate well. Even if you're already good at it, I think John C. Maxwell can still add more value to you. I've read Mr. Maxwell's Laws books on leadership, teamwork, growth, and now communication (by the way, readers and doers are two different matters). This one is as good as the others. It has all the lessons that you can learn from his other book, entitled Everyone Communicates, Few Connect except more. Most of the 'laws' are not new or unique, but Mr. Maxwell, a very good communicator himself, has the gift of making complicated insights simple. If you have to choose only one book to read on communication this year, then, I highly recommend this one. These 'laws' are truly undeniable.

According to John C. Maxwell, there are five (5) essentials to communication: 1) Who Say It (The Law of Credibility, Observation & Conviction); 2) What Is Said (The Law of Preparation, Collaboration & Content); 3) How It Is Said (The Law of Connecting, Leverage, Anticipation, Simplicity, Visual Expression & Storytelling); 4) When It Is Said (The Law of Thermostat & Change-Up); and 5) Why It Is Said (The Law of Adding Value & Results).

In my first round of listening to the audiobook (8 hours 57 minutes), three laws that speak to me are:

• The Law of Credibility: Your Most Effective Message Is the One You Live
• The Law of Simplicity: Communicators Take Something Complicated and Make It Simple
• The Law of Change-Up: Sameness Is the Death of Communication

As for now, I want to focus on these three. I will listen to this audiobook again next month.

#ServeToLead #ReadersAreLeaders #The16UndeniableLawsOfCommunication #CommunicationSkills #JohnCMaxwell #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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One (1) of the Ways to Overcome These Three (3) Problems #LeadersAreReaders April 2023

In my observations and conversations with young people (even older ones too) nowadays, I see these three areas of problem: comprehension ability, communication skills, and lack of depth. There are also admirable things that I see, but I want to focus on these three to challenge you to read books. I believe reading good books can overcome these problems. Why?

1) Reading Can Strengthen Your Brain. Reading gets your mind working across different areas. For starters, it involves comprehension to process the words you read (this is especially helpful when you read the Scripture because comprehension precedes understanding!). Beyond that, you can use your analytical abilities, stimulate memories, and even broaden your imagination by reading words off a page. Reading is a neurobiological process that works out your brain muscles. As you do so, you can help slow down cognitive decline. Paul was talking about the lack of spiritual comprehension in 1 Corinthians 3:2, but I think it can also be applied to mental comprehension: "I had to feed you with milk, not with solid food, because you weren’t ready for anything stronger." Read!

2) Reading Boosts Communication Skills. Both reading and writing work to improve one’s communication skills. That’s why if you’re looking to become a better writer, a better thinker, and a better communicator, many of the suggestions that you come across will include reading more. Reading can open your eyes, literally and figuratively, to new words, insights, and ideas. I have a friend during Bible study who I sense has something worth saying but can't express it well because he is struggling to find words, phrases, and examples to communicate his points. If only he had the habit of reading books.

3) Reading to Become a Person of Depth. When you read a lot, you undoubtedly learn a lot. The more you read—good books—the more you can make it to the level of being considered a "well-read" or "deep person" (although to be a person of depth requires more than just knowledge). Having a diverse set of knowledge and borrowed experience will make you a more engaging conversationalist and can empower you to speak to more people from different backgrounds and experiences because you can connect based on shared information. Some people may argue that "ignorance is bliss," but the truth is that "knowledge is power" when it is rightly used. As Christ's follower, reading the Bible is indispensable for a deeper life: "For the LORD grants wisdom! From His mouth come knowledge and understanding" (Proverbs 2:6).

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #ComprehensionAbility #CommunicationSkills #BeAPersonOfDepth #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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The Royal Path of Reading #LeadersAreReaders March 2022

In the late 1800s, a six hundred pages book entitled, The Royal Path of Life, written by T. L. Haines and L. W. Yaggy, M.S became popular both in the refined East and in the pioneer West (Thank you Pustaka Library for making this book available). It is filled with great maxims, observations, and homespun wisdom. Here are some parts from the chapter entitled Reading:

"There are four classes of readers. The first is like the hourglass; and its reading being on the sand, it runs in and runs out and leaves no vestige behind. A second is like a sponge, which imbibes everything, and returns it in the same state, only a little dirtier. A third is like a jelly bag, allowing all that is pure to pass away, and retaining only the refuse and dregs. The fourth is like the slaves in the diamond mines of Golconda, who, casting aside all that is worthless, obtain only pure gems.

"One's reading is, usually, a fair index of his character... 'A man is known,' it is said, 'by the company he keeps.' It is equally true that a man's character may be, to a great extent, be ascertained by knowing what books he reads.

"Master your reading, and let it never master you. Then it will serve you with ever-increasing fidelity. Only read books aright, and they will charge your mind with the true electric fire. Take them up as among your best friends; and every volume you peruse will join the great company of joyous servitors who will wait around your immortal intellect. Then, too, your daily character will bear the signatures of the great minds you commune with in secret. And, as the years pass on, you will walk in the light of an ever-enlarging multitude of well-chosen, silent, but never-erring guides.

"To read with profit, the books must be of a kind calculated to inform the mind, correct the head, and better the heart. These books should be read with attention, understood, remembered, and their precepts put into practice. It depends less on number than quality. One good book, well understood and remembered, is of more use than to have a superficial knowledge of fifty, equally sound. Books of the right character produce reflection and induce investigation. They are a mirror of the mind, for the mind to look in. Of all the books ever written, no one contains so instructive, so sublime, and so great a variety as the Bible. Resolve to read three chapters each day, for one year, and you will find realities there, more wonderful than any pictures of fiction that have been drawn by the penciling of the most practiced novel writer in the dazzling galaxy of ancient or modern literature."

Here are my sort-of book reviews for this month:

1) The Spirit-Filled Life: Restoring A Biblical Understanding and Experience of the Holy Spirit (1895, 2019) by John MacNeil, CLICK HERE

2) Leadership Language: Using Authentic Communication To Drive Results (2018) by Chris Westfall, CLICK HERE

3) Jesus the Messiah: A Survey of the Life of Christ (1996) by Robert H. Stein, CLICK HERE

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #TheRoyalPathOfLife #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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Leadership Language: Using Authentic Communication To Drive Results (2018) by Chris Westfall, Book Review

If I read Mr. Westfall rightly, I think the main thesis of this book can be summed up in this statement: "Leadership is about doing the right things for the clients you serve." By "client" he means more than an external client, namely, someone who buys your products and services but also included internal client, namely, someone on your team, broad of director, vendor, supplier, boss, and even your family and friends. In short, someone whom you serve. "Your client is the source of your success," he wrote, "Your ability to deliver results, your ability to generate revenue, your ability to advance in your career, your ability to grow your business - it all comes from your clients." Then he added, "Your personal success - in all aspects of your life, not just in business - hinges on what you create WITH, THROUGH, and FOR OTHERS."

But then, I asked, what does he mean by Leadership Language? This illustration helped me a lot: Mr. Westfall asked his super-smart Millennial engineer coaching client from Hungary who can speak five languages, "Erik, why are we speaking English today?" His client said, "Because that's the only language you understand." Erik was speaking Mr. Westfall's language. Leadership language speaks your client's language. A language of words demonstrated in actions, and delivering an impact that can't be denied! Let's say one of my leadership strengths is creativity. This is useless on its own unless I use it to serve my clients. So, I need to think about how can I deliver this strength practically and in my actions. Then, I also need to ask myself, "How can my client be better off from my service?" Putting concepts into action for the clients you serve and the ability to see what the clients need and then deliver it is the path to creating real impact and authentic communication. This is the 'language' that those who follow your lead CAN understand.

This concept of leadership is interesting and essential. Although there are things that I might disagree with and couldn't relate to what Mr. Westfall was communicating (two of them are his simplistic view of human nature and overuse of high-level business examples that I can't relate to), I think overall this is a good book on everyday leadership not just in business. It's an easy read, with very engaging stories and dozens of valuable insights such as The Ten (10) Leadership Factors that he explains throughout the entire pages of the book. To know more, read this book... Or, like me, borrow it from the library! :)

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #LeadershipLanguage #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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Praise In Public, Correct In Private (#GrowingLeader)

 

We have all been in the presence of someone who is being corrected in public in a humiliating way. It's embarrassing! Of course, there are times to correct ideas or challenging decisions during meetings, for example. But attacking the person in front of others doesn't solve the problem. There is a better way... 🧐🚫💆‍♀️ #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader

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Leadershift: The 11 Essential Changes Every Leader Must Embrace (2019) by John C. Maxwell, Book Review

 

Leadershift: The 11 Essential Changes Every Leader Must Embrace (2019) 

by John C. Maxwell

I've read this book twice. One during my travel to Peninsular Malaysia last year; and then I read again this year. John Maxwell has been my distant mentor ever since I started my first job after graduating from university. One quote from John that I will never forget is this: "Everything rises and falls on leadership." Core principles of leadership like competence, courage, consistency, character, etc. will never change but the world around us changes rapidly. It is not a call to compromise but to adapt - to shift our leadership. John highlights a study that was published in The Flux Report reported that "91% of future recruiting in the workplace will be based on people's ability to deal with change and uncertainty." Change or die!

What is leadershift? John defines it as an ability and willingness to make a leadership change that will positively enhance organizational and personal growth. "Leadershift is not easy," John reminds us, "especially when you first start doing it. Often you leave behind something that has worked to pursue something untested. You'll have to deal with the tension between the stability that gives security and the adaptability that opens up the opportunity... The desire to improve will drive you to keep learning. But here's the good news: learning to leadershift will make you a better leader!" I want that for myself - and as I share this short review - I want this for you too. We all can be highly benefitted from a good leadership paradigm. We all can learn and grow to become a leader we are meant to be. We all can be a better leader.

Here are the 11 shifts that we have to embrace, learn, and practice to be more effective (and relevant) as a leader in the fast-paced world today. I'm good with some, okay with a few, and there are a lot of improvements that I have to make. How about you? Check this out 👇👇👇

#1 The Focus Shift - from Soloist to Conductor
#2 The Personal Development Shift - from Goals to Growth
#3 The Cost Shift - from Perks to Price
#4 The Relational Shift - from Pleasing People to Challenging People
#5 The Abundance Shift - from Maintaining to Creating
#6 The Reproduction Shift - from Ladder Climbing to Ladder Building
#7 The Communication Shift - from Directing to Connecting
#8 The Improvement Shift - from Team Uniformity to Team Diversity
#9 The Influence Shift - from Positional Authority to Moral Authority
#10 The Impact Shift - from Trained Leaders to Transformational Leaders
#11 The Passion Shift - from Career to Calling

Buy this book (or ebook or audiobook). If it's too expensive for you, eat only once per day and save your money. Hey, you need to improve your leadership. Change or die! 😊📖💪 #ServeToLead #1Book1Week #LeadersAreReaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #Leadership #Leadershift #JohnCMaxwell

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The 5 Essential People Skills, (2004) by Dale Carnegie, Sort-of-Book Review

The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, 

and Resolve Conflicts (2004) by Dale Carnegie

I've read How to Win Friends and Influence People and The Leader In You (to read my review, CLICK HERE) and so this is a refreshing and reminding course for me. Naturally, I'm not a people person. It's not that I don't love people, but people can be troublesome. In the past, I have no problem using people and influence them for my benefit but intentionally want to help and develop people? That one requires continuous learning, practicing, and humility. This book - and others like John C. Maxwell’s Winning with People - have helped me a lot  As I enter the workplace and serve in the ministry, people skill is even more important. Dale asserts, "No matter what your line of work, even if it's in one of the technical professions, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people."

The five (5) Essential People Skills are:

#1 Rapport Building
#2 Curiosity
#3 Communication
#4 Ambition
#5 Conflict Resolution

I want to summarize each skill but after some thought, it is better if you learn it for yourself. I suggest you don’t need to read the book, just listen to the audiobook. You can get so much value from just listening. Go to YouTube for the audiobook (for personal use only), CLICK HERE.

#ServeToLead #1Book1Week #LeadersAreReaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #PeopleSkills #DaleCarnegie

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Biblical Manhood #8 Be Able To Teach

It is not surprising for a man to be "able to teach" (1 Timothy 3:2). As a teacher, he needs to teach the students. As a father, teach the children. As a pastor, teach the people. But it is more than just talking or lecturing or communicating. At least there are three (3) points to explain what does it mean to be able to teach 😉⚡📖 #ServeToLead

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Five (5) Leadership Lessons from Simon Sinek

Author and motivational speaker, Simon Sinek, observed the way great leaders think, act and communicate, and how they inspire everyone to take action. His talks and books have important leadership lessons that can help us, no matter what our role is in the organization. Here are the five (5) lessons that I learned from him.

I would like to recommend reading Leaders Eat Last. This book is valuable and timeless (although I think it can be shorter). People also say that Start With Why also good, but I haven't finished reading it yet

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #GrowingLeader #LeadersEatLast #SimonSinek #LeadershipLessons

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Leader's Greatest Failure: Communication

In Genesis chapter 1, God begins His masterpiece. He creates. From "Good" to "Very good." In chapter 2, He planted the Garden of Eden and placed Adam and Eve there. Everything was in order and shalom. But in chapter 3, everything changes - The Fall! One of the reasons for The Fall is communication. Adam failed to connect with Eve. As a leader, you may be a good speaker, but more important than that you must be a good communicator. What we can learn from Adam's faulty communication? #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader #LeadershipBible

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Angelus' Quote: Leadership Is Never Easy

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12 Rules for Life #10 Be Precise In Your Speech (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“To be precise in your speech does two things... it specifies your goal and it reduces uncertainty.”

(Jordan Peterson)

According to Peterson, there is an undivided connection between communication and reality. Language takes what’s unknown from chaos and gives it a name making it into a thing. Once that thing is addressed with a name then you can control it. A simple example would be the feeling of touch. Imagine that you see a pot in front of you for the first time. Without touching it you don’t know what’s wrong with it. Once you touch it you feel it’s too hot to hold it for too long. So, you give it a “name” – a hot pot. Now you can do something about it and use a pair of heatproof gloves to do your job.

On the other hand, the unnameable is terrifying, at least much more than the nameable. As an example, the movie The Ring didn’t describe and name the evil at all. Objectively speaking, in this movie the scary scenes are very few in number in comparison with other horror thrillers. It’s all about the unnameable. If you can’t name something then that makes it more terrifying to you. It also makes you feel weaker against it if you don’t actually know what it is. That’s why, according to Peterson, precise speech is important. I can bring things out of the realm of unspeakable. Words are not to be underestimated as they have creative power. Don’t create more marks and darkness by imprecise speech!

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12 Rules for Life #9 Assume that the Person You are Listening to Might Know Something You Don't (Summary)

This is a chapter-by-chapter summary of a book by Jordan B. Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos (2018). One chapter, one article. Read this summary, buy the book. Enjoy!

“The great majority of us could not listen; we would find ourselves compelled to evaluate because listening would seem too dangerous. So the first requirement is courage, and we do not always have it.”

(Carl Rogers)

When people argue about something, they often fall in the trap of trying to win over that argument and miss the true point of a good conversation. That is to come-out-wiser-than-you mentality when into it. First of all, winning over an argument does not necessarily mean that your thinking was smarter. If you happen to be more verbally fluent than the others, chances are against him even though he might be wiser than you, because as long as he cannot express his opinions with ease he can’t win because you don’t give him fair chances to win. And as mentioned before: “It’s not about winning.”

The best thing to do is to take good advantage of what someone is trying to tell you. Give him or her a chance to fully explain and make you understand what he or she is exactly thinking. Who knows maybe, in the end, you could find his or her ideas or suggestions better than some of yours and prevent you from facing future problems. “If you listen, instead, without premature judgment, people will generally tell you everything they are thinking—and with very little deceit. People will tell you the most amazing, absurd, interesting things.” Peterson even says to “listen to your enemies.” Surely, they will lie about you, but also be sure that they will be frank about things that your friends might not see or don’t dare to tell you. Learn to separate the wheat from the chaff.

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Book Review: The Leader In You (1993) by Dale Carnegie

The Leader In You: How to Win Friends, Influence People and Success In a Changing World (1993) by Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. with Stuart R. Levine & Michael A. Crom

If you already read Dale Carnegie's masterwork How to Win Friends and Influence People (originally published in 1936), you'll find that this book is repetitive only with clearer examples, simpler chapters and modern touch. If you just read How to Win Friends and Influence People say, about less than 6 months ago, I think you don't have to read this one. But for me, the last time I read Dale Carnegie's book (including How to Stop Worrying and Start Living) was about 3-4 years ago, so this is a good refresher for me because I forget some of the key lessons that he taught. Reading The Leader In You is fun and beneficial for me because this year my focus is on leadership, one of my subject of interests. Although I've read dozens of leadership books, I still can learn greatly from this one. As Dale Carnegie writes, "Keep your mind open to change all the time. Welcome it. Court it. It is only by examining and re-examining your opinions and ideas that you can progress." How true.

This book is published by Pocket Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. and as expected, it is pocket-size, only 230+ pages and 16 short chapters with Carnegie's quote at the beginning and a key lesson for each leadership principles. Dale Carnegie begins the introduction of The Leader In You by explaining that as the 21st-century approaches, the world is undergoing enormous change, and so "the human-relations revolution," a cultural change is here where "a whole new breed of leaders" is required. What the world needs is not hierarchical and bossy ways of leadership, today all the more, we need leaders who mastered the human-relations principles. "What needed is leadership, to help people achieve what they are capable of, to establish a vision of the future, to encourage, to coach and mentor, and to establish and maintain successful relationships."

Let me highlight briefly 5 Human-Relations-Leadership Principles (there are 16) with my favourite quotes:

#1 Finding the Leader In You. "Leadership is never easy. But thankfully, something else is also true: Every one of us has the potential to be a leader every day." Key lesson: The first step toward success is identifying your leadership strengths.

#2 Starting to Communicate. Here are the first steps to successful communication: 1) Make communication a top priority; 2) Be open to other people, and 3) Create a receptive environment for communication. Key lesson: Communication is built on a trusting relationship.

#3 Motivating People. Three important ways to do this: 1) Include others in the process, every step of the way; 2) Treat people as individuals; and 3) Encouraged, recognized and rewarded works well done. Key lesson: Motivation can never be forced. People have to want to do a good job.

#4 Expressing Genuine Interest In Others. "Expressing genuine interest in others – there's no better way to make people interested in you. People respond to people who are sincerely interested in them. They can't help but respond." "Even more important than expressing interest is showing it." Key lesson: There's nothing more effective and rewarding than showing a genuine interest in other people.

#5 Teaming Up for Tomorrow. "The greatest reward a leader can achieve – the greatest legacy a leader can leave – is a group of talented, self-confident, and cooperative people, how are themselves ready to lead." Wow! Key lesson: Team players are the leaders of tomorrow.

These 5 and the other 11 principles outlined in this book is timeless. Since the world today is getting more and more virtual, the need for leaders of today (and tomorrow) to be relational is all the more important. I'm aspiring to be a better leader, I teach leadership lessons in churches and organized seminars twice per year. But based on my personality, relationships are not my strength. I have to work hard and intentional to strengthen my human-relations skills. Why? Because leaders lead PEOPLE. People are the reason leaders exist. Therefore, this book is valuable to me. I recommend this book wholeheartedly. As a closing, I would like to also recommend John C. Maxwell's two books on leadership-relationship: 1) Winning with People (2004) and 2) 25 Ways to Win with People (2005, with Les Parrott). These two books are what I called The New How to Win Friends and Leading People.

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