Last week I saw a viral video online in Malaysia, where there was a fight at a Mamak restaurant (probably before the month of Ramadhan) between an older man with a young woman. I care less about what is the real issue but when I saw the older man hits the woman and the young woman kicked the man, my heart boil with rage! This is not an unusual scene, however. We all probably have witnessed – or experience ourselves – at least verbal abuse or even physical abuse between these two generations in social media, within our community, among family members, and even in the church. This evil behavior must not be among the believers! After Paul writes to Timothy to “keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching” (1 Timothy 4:16) as a leader in God’s church and a teacher of God’s Word, he then reminds him of his attitude toward others: BE RESPECTFUL.
“Do not rebuke” or “Never speak harshly” (NLT) or “Don’t reprimand” (Philips) is a negative statement for a positive reminder: BE RESPECTFUL. Toward who? All people! Older men, younger men, older women, younger women. Inside and outside the church. The word “rebuke” means to “strike with blows.” It is primarily speaking of beating with words but I think we can extend that to beating with fists too. Although young Timothy was very influential and his leadership was sealed by God’s authority (see 6:20) and the apostle’s approval (see 4:11; 6:2b), he must not abuse his power but instead “set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity” (4:12). Having said that, the reminder to BE RESPECTFUL toward everyone also means we must NOT SHOW FAVORITISM (see James 2:1) regardless of their age, gender, and the nature of the relationship. If an older man or woman needs to be corrected, then, go to him or her in a kindly manner and speak to him or her as one would speak to a father or mother. In the same manner, reproof younger believers as brothers and sisters in Christ. Don’t sugarcoat the truth when you have to discipline them. The goal is not condemnation but repentance. Be firm, clear, and “speaking the truth in love” (Ephesians 4:15).
As for men, especially in the ministry, I would like to warn us: be extra careful when dealing with younger women. If you need to “encourage” them – as you must – do it as “sisters” in Christ and “in all purity.” In most cases, it is better to “take one or two others along with you” (Matthew 18:16) to create accountability. We all have heard the reported news about the abuse and sexual misconduct among Christian ministers. Don’t be a statistic! H.A. Ironside commented on this verse wisely: “Never to act toward any young woman in a way he would not like some other man to behave to his own sister.” Or read how J.B. Philips paraphrases it: “Treat the younger women as sisters, AND NO MORE” (emphasis mine).
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