Reading the Scripture Together with Your Spouse #LeadersAreReaders July 2024

One of the things that I miss so much when I'm working outstation is reading the Scripture together with my wife every night. It has become our habit, and I always feel something is missing or incomplete if we are not doing it. I'm very reluctant to give marriage advice to anyone (technically, not qualified in terms of experience), but let me give one here: aim to grow together in Christ one day at a time. One of the essential ways is to read (aloud), reflect, and pray the Scripture daily. First, it fosters emotional, intellectual, and spiritual intimacy, allowing both of us to connect on a deeper level as we explore the faith together. This shared practice strengthens our relationship, creating a sense of being one heart and mind in Christ and reminding one another to be under His lordship.

Next, it provides an opportunity for open communication, as we discuss passages and their meanings. Usually, we read 2 to 4 chapters a day and pause after every chapter to hear one another's thoughts and insights (sometimes I will provide the context and explanations of the text if it's difficult chapters, and she will make wise remarks because she's smart!). This leads us to greater understanding and teaches empathy for one another. Read and listen. The routine of reading together also establishes a consistent, calming end to each day (yes, we do have bad days), helping to reduce stress (yes, daily responsibilities, relationships, and work can be stressful) and promote a peaceful household environment (yes, we do have small arguments).

Moreover, the Scriptures offer valuable life lessons and true guidance, inspiring us to grow in the fruit of the Spirit such as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. God often uses His Word to encourage us, correct us, and even rebuke us (I can't count how many times He confronts my pride and stubborn heart when we read the Scripture together! Here and there is a time for repentance, asking for forgiveness, and reconciliation). Finally, we end with prayer. This shared journey not only enriches our marriage but also lays a foundation for future challenges and adventures. But it must be done, if possible, daily or consistently - read, reflect, and pray the Scripture together - because the foundation cannot be less than solid Rock!

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Cultivate the Habits of Reading and Writing #LeadersAreReaders January 2024

If you followed the Chronological Bible Reading Plan, you would've read the Book of Genesis and Job. Well done! Every year I try to read through the Bible, but last year I didn't manage to finish on time because I read other books too. Well, this year I want to focus more on the Bible than other books (perhaps limited to one or two or, at the most, three per month). I've come to believe that if you want to grow as a Christian, especially in full-time ministry, cultivating the habits of reading and writing are indispensable.

Reading Christians, especially those who read and meditate on the Word of God, are God-loving Christians. We are called to "love the Lord [our] God with all [our] heart, [our] soul," and "[our] mind." Reading helps us to grow in knowledge and equips us to contend for the faith, to gain wisdom and understanding, to have the mind of Christ and to know God's will and the Spirit leading, and in my case, to teach, preach and give answers with conviction, confidence, and compassion. Besides, reading helps our minds to think, connect, and reflect.

Next, after reading, writing is important. Initially, I didn't like to write because it consumed a lot of time, and I always failed my grammar. But once I 'force' myself to write, the outcomes are clarity of thought, exponential learning and retention, and mental satisfaction. And if you see writing as one of the ways to bring the Word of God to readers, then you're also benefiting others other than yourself. It is said that "clear writing is a sign of clear thinking" and "clear thinking is a sign of a well-organized mind." I agree. As full-time ministers, we must nurture our minds too, not just our hearts and souls.

So, friends, read and write!

#ServeToLead #ReadersAreLeaders #TheBible #ReadingAndWriting #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Good Faith: Being A Christian When Society Thinks You're Irrelevant and Extreme (2016) - Book Review

Good Faith: Being A Christian When Society Thinks You're Irrelevant and Extreme (2016)

by David Kinnaman & Gabe Lyons

The moment I saw the cover of this book – with Kinnaman and Lyons as its authors – I grabbed it (bought 3 copies) and proceed to the counter (BookXcess always have the lowest price). Why? Because I've read their previous remarkable book, unChristian (2007), and was greatly helped by their insights, interviews, research studies, and Biblical understandings. With this one, I'm not disappointed! "I love this book," recommend Francis Chan, "It is a timely reminder that Christians don't have to conform in order to survive. It encourages those of us with deep convictions not to cower but to boldly speak truth with wisdom and love. Radical followers of Jesus can be relevant." Oh yeah!

From the first chapter, this book aims to address these questions: "What does the future hold for people of faith when people perceive Christians as irrelevant and extreme? In what ways can faith be a force for good in society? How can people of faith contribute to a world that, more and more, believes religion is bad?" From the outset, Kinnaman and Lyons convincingly show that many people increasingly view religion—any religion—as "extreme" and "irrelevant." This forces "good faith" Christians to be more intentional and prepared in their interactions with the world. Although the future becomes more hostile, faith can be good in society through ongoing mercy-care and the Gospel proclamation. Both authors also say that Christians can contribute to this world by holding firm to their confession and convictions while striving to live peaceably with all. In essence, Good Faith = How Well We Love + What We Believe + How We Live.

The way forward, they suggest, centers on good (yet difficult) conversations around those areas that people identify as "extreme" and "irrelevant" characteristics of Christianity. The book focuses on four areas: (1) Neighborliness and intolerance in public life; (2) Relationships; (3) Sexual ethics; and (4) Church and religion. Each area has multiple chapters devoted to it and is spangled with personal anecdotes from Kinnaman and Lyons's life accompanied by the wealth of data they've acquired over the years. It makes for a compelling, easy and enjoyable read. There are a lot of commendable aspects of this book but I'll focus on only two of them:

Firstly, this book does not give readers with false hope. Kinnaman and Lyons are men of faith but also very realistic. They are not suggesting that if Christians could just be nicer and more winsome and more engaging the world would like us more and everything will turn out good. They know how the world treated Jesus, and what He said about the world treating His disciples. They write, "It's not enough to be nice… it's no longer sufficient for Christians to be winsome. Being winsome is not bad. It's good. But aiming for niceness as our ultimate goal can give us a false sense of making a difference… Nice doesn't overcome the perception that Christians are crazy." The world will hate us no matter how nice we are. That's not an excuse for us to be compromise or uncaring but it does call us to be winsome while remaining unwavering in our confession and convictions.

Secondly, this book appeal for Christians to admit our failures. This is by no means a major thrust of the book, but it is there... The church should be the leaders in the world to show the "good faith." After all, Jesus came into the world to save sinners. There are plenty of sins to confess. It's of no use to scream about the speck in someone else's eye without removing the plank from our own eyes first. Has the church always been a place of grace for those who have had abortions? Same-sex attractions? And those who suffered unspeakable racial injustice? Not as a whole. The church has, at times, been too slow to speak and act, and complicit in abuse and shame. Instead of saying, "yeah but" as justification for the Christian's sins of commission and omission, we should confess our sins and God who is faithful and just will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. "We must be the people of God who, rather than being defined only by what we are against, are also defined by what we are for."

There a lot more you can learn about our ever-changing culture that may affect you and me as Christians in the world today as presented in this book. No matter where you are (although the context and research studies of this book are mainly from America), Good Faith is a great place to start. The book is helpful and insightful on the cultural front. You may disagree with some of their antidotes, you may experience differently, you may dislike their approach – but you'll be encouraged to "led by love, grounded in biblical belief, and ready to live as counterculture for the common good, we trust that our good faith will be used by God to renew the world." 

This book is divided into 3 parts:

Part 1: Understanding Our Times

Chapter 1: Bad Faith, Good Faith

Chapter 2: Irrelevant

Chapter 3: Extreme

Chapter 4: The Tension We Feel and Why

Part 2: Living Good Faith

Chapter 5: Love, Believe, Live

Chapter 6: The Right Questions

Chapter 7: Who Will Lead?

Chapter 8: Assimilate or Accommodate

Chapter 9: After the Revolution

Chapter 10: Marriage, Family, and Friendships

Chapter 11: Life, Death, and Disability

Chapter 12: Race and Prejudice

Chapter 13: The Gay Conversation

Chapter 14: We Can't Live without Intimacy

Chapter 15: Five Ways to Be Faithful

Part 3: The Church and Our Future

Chapter 16: Firm Center, Soft Edges

Chapter 17: Church in a New World

Chapter 18: Faithful in Exile

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Tender Warrior: God's Intention For a Man (1993) by Stu Weber: Book Review

Tender Warrior: God's Intention For a Man (1993) by Stu Weber

To be honest, it's tough being a man especially in a culture that isn't sure what manhood means. In 2013, a research* have been published by BioMed Central Ltd. about the perception of masculinity in Malaysia by interviewing 34 young Malaysian university men (aged 20–30 years) shows that their ideas of manhood are: "having a good body shape"; "being respected"; "having success with women"; "being a family man"; and "having financial independence." Read those concepts or meanings that they gave again, is that true manhood? No doubt, the meanings (or perceptions of) manhood are subjective but by biblical standard, these ideas are far from the truth. "Manliness – real, God-made, down-in-the-bedrock masculinity – is something men in our culture are scrambling to understand. Tough? Tender? Strong? Sensitive? Fierce? Friendly? Which is it? We're frustrated. Often confused. Sometimes irritable…"

This book asks: What is God's intention for a man? Not society, not religious, not culture. Here Stu introduced the four (4) pillars of masculinity based on the Scriptures (and secular history of man). The Bible is filled with references – both explicit and implicit – to all of these pillars. Stu explains, "All four are both divine and human. In man, they are sometimes unbalanced and abusive. In Christ, they majestically merge in the ultimate Man." The four pillars are King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend:

#1 King

The king function is clearly central to Scripture's themes. Our God is the King of Kings. His Son, the second Adam, is destined to rule "with all power and authority." Adam, the prototype man, is instructed in the Genesis to "have dominion." The heart of the King is A PROVISIONARY HEART. The king looks ahead, watches over, and provides order, mercy, and justice. He is the authority. He is a leader. The king in a man is "under orders" from higher Authority. "The measure of a man is the spiritual and emotional health of his family. A real provider has a vision for a marriage that bonds deeply, for sons with a character as strong as trees, and for daughters with confidence and deep inner beauty. Without that vision and leadership, a family struggles grope, and may lose its way."

#2 Warrior

The warrior function is equally unmistakable in Scripture. Our God is the Warrior of both Testaments. Gentle Jesus, meek and mild? No! He closes the Bible history on a white war horse, in a blood-spattered robe, with a sword in His mouth and a rod in His hand. In the Book of Narnia, Aslan the King is portrait as "kind but not safe." Roar, not a whimper! The heart of the warrior is A PROTECTIVE HEART. The warrior shields defend, stands between, and guards. "By warrior, I do not mean one who loves war or draws sadistic pleasure from fighting or bloodshed... A warrior is one who possesses high moral standards and holds to high principles. He is willing to live by them, stand for them, spend himself in them, and if necessary die for them. No warrior ever made that more obvious than Jesus of Nazareth." Just look at little boys, will they choose Barbie doll or a toy gun? Even if they only have Barbie doll, they will transform it into a female-fighter!

#3 Mentor

The mentor function is not only modelled through the pages of the Bible, it is explicitly commanded in the form of "teaching them to observe" and "discipling." Our God is the Teacher in whose instruction we "delight." The only Perfect Man was the Discipler of all nations. And men who follow Him are to "teach others also." The heart of the mentor is A TEACHING HEART. The mentor knows. He wants others to know. He models, explains, and trains. He disciple – first his wife and kids, then others. He has a spiritual heart. "Men are supposed to be able to teach life."

#4 Friend

The friend (or "lover") is the function most endearing said Stu. We are drawn to God who defines Himself by it: "God IS love." He insists that the ultimate point of all Scripture centers on loving Him and one another. It is one and the same time the most basic instruction of Scripture and the "new commandment" given to every man. The heart of the friend is A LOVING HEART. It is a care-giving heart. Passionate, yes. But more. Compassionate ("I will be with you"). The friend in a man is a commitment-maker. And a promise-keeper. "Real men stand together. We need to start thinking that way. Real men need one another. Real soldiers love each other."

With these four pillars (King, Warrior, Mentor, and Friend) as foundations to godly manhood, Stu writes how we – men – can become Tender Warriors. He examined Biblical characters, share his own (and those close to him) stories of successes and failures, give examples from historical individuals, making full use of contemporary books and works of literature, and quotes the studies of researchers. My favorite chapters are Chapter 4: Staying Power, Chapter 8: Does Anyone Here Speak ‘Woman'?, Chapter 12: Real Men Stand Together, and Chapter 14: The Ultimate Tender Warrior. I agree wholeheartedly with Ron Mehl when he praises this book: "In the midst of the culture where men desperately grope to understand what it means to be a man, Tender Warrior presents a clearly defined model of Christian manhood, teaching us how to be tender, yet tough – sensitive, yet strong." I closed this book by looking at Jesus Christ, the King, Ultimate Warrior, Perfect Mentor, and Faithful Friend, as my role model of Tender Warrior. Surely, I will read this book once per year! [P.s: This book is very suitable for husbands and fathers. Actually, it was written especially for them. For singles, it's a good preparation and readiness]

Contents:

Chapter #1 Wake-Up Call: A Man Faces Himself

Chapter #2 The Return of Flint McCullugh: A Man and His Pro-vision

Chapter #3 The Four Pillars of Manhood: A Man and His Roots

Chapter #4 Staying Power: A Man's Greatest Strength

Chapter #5 Beneath the Breastplate: A Man's Tender Side

Chapter #6 Under Orders: A Man and His Leadership

Chapter #7 The Rest of the Story: A Man and His Lady — Part I

Chapter #8 Does Anyone Here Speak "WOMAN"?: A Man and His Lady — Part II

Chapter #9 The Incredible Power of Fathering: A Man and His Children — Part I

Chapter #10 Spanning the Generations: A Man and His Children — Part II

Chapter #11 Arrows in the Hand of a Warrior: A Man and His Children — Part III

Chapter #12 Real Men Stand Together: A Man and His Friends — Part I

Chapter #13 Locking Arms: A Man and His Friends — Part II

Chapter #14 The Ultimate Tender Warrior: A Man and His Lord

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

*https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3840654

Here are few Book Reviews on Manhood, CLICK LINKS to read:

1) Tough and Tender by Joyce Landorf (https://richardangelus.blogspot.com/2018/06/tough-and-tender-what-every-woman-wants.html)

2) Healing the Masculine Soul by Gordon Dalbey (https://richardangelus.blogspot.com/2018/04/healing-masculine-soul-how-god-restores.html)

3) Wild at Heart by John Eldredge (https://richardangelus.blogspot.com/2017/12/book-review-wild-at-heart-discovering.html)

4) The Hidden Value of a Man by Gary Smalley and John Trent (https://richardangelus.blogspot.com/2017/12/book-review-hidden-value-of-man-1992-by.html)

Young Men and Women, Consider the Union with Jesus

“Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ?"

(1 Corinthians 6:15, NLT)

One of the most important doctrines (teachings) relating to the inner spiritual life of the believer is that of his union with Jesus Christ – we are “parts of Christ.” Indeed it could be claimed that it is our only hope of victory over sin and of triumph in the testing circumstances of life, and of abundant and prosperity of life! Yet many Christians do not know that they have been united with Christ and that Christ is in them and them in Christ. If we realize that we “are actually parts of Christ” – union with Him – everything He accomplished by His life, death and resurrection become ours.

Several figures are used in Scripture to illustrate this wonderful and mysterious union. There is the figure of marriage: “Now you are united (or married) with the one who was raised from the dead” (Romans 7:4). This is the highest and most intimate union known to man and is a picture of Christ and His Church. Marriage “is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one” (read Ephesians 5:31-33).

There is the figure of the body and the head. “…growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church” (Ephesians 4:15). This picture here is of mutual dependence through sharing the same life. The smallest member of the body shares the life of the head.

Jesus also used the figure of the vine and the branches. “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches” (John 15:5). The vine and the branches are one. Neither can exist independently of the other but it is the vine that supplies the nutrients and sap to the branches for fruit-bearing. The sole responsibility of the branch is to receive from the root and stem the vital, nourishing fluid. Then fruit-bearing is automatic and inevitable!

To Hudson Taylor, the great missionary, at a time when he was heavily burdened, the fact of the union of the believer with Christ as illustrated by the vine and the branches brought a transformation of experience to him. Here are his own words: “Here I feel is the secret. Not asking how I am to get the sap out of the vine into myself, but remember that Jesus is the Vine – root, stem, branches, leaves, twigs, flowers, fruit. Let us not want to get anything out of Him, but rejoice in ourselves being in Him. I have not got to make myself a branch. The Lord tells me I am a branch. I am part of Him and have just to believe and act on it.”

We are parts of Christ.

Believe and act on it!

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Things I Wish My Father Knew #1 "Sons are a Heritage from the LORD"

Marriage is a time of beginning.

Another time of beginning

in a marriage

is the birth of a child.

… A dramatic,

miraculous

beginning!

And what a pride, joy and love

a father feels

as this tiny, new person

is placed in his arms

for the very first time!

For the child,

it is a start

into new surroundings –

a brand new environment.

For the father,

it is an untested start

into this thing

called parenting.

Joy and pride

mix with fear and uncertainty

as new roles and responsibilities

are cautiously approached.

Truly… a drastic,

miraculous

beginning!

“Sons are a heritage from the LORD,

children a reward from him.

Like arrows in the hands of a warrior

are sons born in one’s youth.

Blessed is the man

whose quiver is full of them.”

(Psalm 127:3-5)

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus on Divorce: Glued Together, No One can Separate It (Mark 10:1-9)

“Jesus then left that place and went into the region of Judea and across the Jordan. Again crowds of people came to him, and as was his custom, he taught them. Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ ‘What did Moses command you?’ he replied. They said, ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.’ ‘It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,’ Jesus replied. ‘But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate’”
(Mark 10:1-9, NIV).

The subject of divorce was a hot issue in Jesus’ day as it is today. According to the Old Testament, a man could divorce his wife if she “displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her” (Deuteronomy 24:1). But by the time Jesus came there were two conflicting views about divorce among the Jews, all because of two ways to interpret the word “indecent” in Deuteronomy 24:1. Mostly the Pharisees said that indecency referred only to sexual unfaithfulness, meaning, a man could divorce his wife only if she became sexually involved with another man. A second view interpreted it as anything that displeased the husband. For example, a man could divorce his wife if she displeased her husband by burning his toast!

The Pharisees, wanted to find some reason to accuse Jesus and get rid of Him, asked Him what was His interpretation of divorce. They were probably hoping that Jesus held the more ‘open’ view of divorce; that way they could discredit Him among the religious community for His liberal interpretation of Scripture. But Jesus doesn’t sided with any one of the two views, Jesus said that in God’s view of marriage, divorce is not mention. When Jesus quoted Genesis 2:24, he implied that in God’s original blueprint for marriage in the Garden of Eden, husband and wife were to be glued (“become one flesh”) into one, inseparable unit. That’s it! Divorce wasn’t even in the vocabulary. “What God has joined together, let no one separate.”

So, why did God allow Moses to include a divorce certificate in the Old Testament law? Jesus answered: “It was because your hearts were hard.” When sin entered the human race as described in Genesis 3, men became basically selfish, unloving and reluctant to forgive in all of relationships – including marriage. The life of “one flesh” God intended husband and wife to enjoy often end up with two self-centred individuals. Instead of caring for each other selflessly, individuals care for themselves first. So for the man who was too hard-hearted to forgive his wife, for example, for being unfaithful, God allowed divorce. Because once sin entered the picture, nothing will be the same. But we must remember that God’s number one plan for marriage is that they commit themselves to each other with selfless love and forgiveness.

Now, I’m not married yet. Soon. But as I read this text in Mark 10 long time ago, I have to consider and equip myself for marriage. This is what I learned: The only kind of glue (to be “one flesh” means to literally glue two objects into one) that holds a marriage together is the glue of commitment. Commitment means that you give yourself to your partner in marriage as a permanent gift; and the two of you give yourselves to God as one. This kind of glue bonds people together so that they can endure all the pressing, pulling and stretching that life can inflict on them. Commitment to one another is above the romantic feelings; it is a committed-choice to stick with one another no matter what happen. If I may respectfully paraphrase Jesus’ words this way: “What God has glued together, man won’t want to separate by divorce.” Amen.

If you try to separate two objects that are glued together,

It’s hard to do, and it ‘hurt’ because each will never be the same again.
That’s the effect of divorce

(P.s: I know it’s hurt, my parents divorced few years ago)

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Letters to Annie: Make the Decision to Abstain from Sex Before Married

Young girls, wait; Young boys, self-control.

Dear Annie,

            I miss you. And I love you even more today. It’s funny how I end up loving you with all my heart now. In my past relationships, I’ve been a jerk and made lots of mistakes that I will never ever repeat it again in the future. To tell you the truth, if the Holy Spirit doesn’t touched my heart and if my God-given conscience about sex outside marriage doesn’t stopped my youthful passion when I was young boy many years ago, I might cause a girl pregnant. Or two. I was that bad. Only God can save someone like me. God’s grace alone. I hope you still love me…

            The decision to have sex before I get married – or the decision to abstain from it – is a choice that will most certainly impact the rest of my life. To do or not to do. I know you knew about this too. That decision, Annie, will play an important role in the way we see ourselves, and the way we view relationships with each other. And if we not reminding ourselves and stand firm in God’s Word, our decision to have sex before married might result in an unexpected “surprise” pregnancy. Let’s not contribute to the statistics.

            Annie, as for me personally, I’ve face many temptations. The decision to consciously abstain from sex before married was a very important and hard decision for me. It was a great struggle for me as I’m not always ‘godly’ all the time. Even if I’m good with conducts, my thoughts were sinful. So I looked to God for help. Only He can gives me wisdom to make a decision that might just change the direction of my life. “Happy is the person who finds wisdom,” proclaimed the wise man, “the one who gets understanding” (Proverbs 3:13). As J.I. Packer writes, “The fruit of wisdom is Christlikeness, peace, humility, and love. And, the root of it is faith in Christ as the manifested wisdom of God.”

So I say, I will not have sex until I’m married! I must trust the inner voice of my conscience. I should be obedient to the teaching of God’s Word. I respect God, myself and you. You’re precious to me Annie. You’re my love one as much as you’re God’s special daughter. I write this to you because I want you to know my stand (and I trust we have the same conviction about no sex outside marriage) and because, if in the future I behave improper in regard to sexual boundaries, you may remind me of my commitment. And if necessary, slap my face hard, very hard so that I can be reminded of God’s wrath against those who disobey Him.

I love you…

I love you…

I love you…

I can wait…

                                                            May God’s strength empowered us,

Richard

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus said, "You have Heard the Law that Says... But I Say..."

Jesus told passage below to his disciples

“You have heard the law that says, ‘A man can divorce his wife by merely giving her a written notice of divorce.’ But I say that a man who divorces his wife, unless she has been faithful, causes her to commit adultery. You have also heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the LORD.’ But I say, do not make any vows!... Just say a simple, ‘Yes, I will,’ or ‘No, I won’t.’ Anything beyond this is from the evil one.

You have heard the law that says the punishment must match the injury: ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say, do not resist an evil person! If someone slaps you on the right cheek, offer the other cheek also… You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbour’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. For he gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike.”
(Matthew 5:31-34, 37-39, 43-45, NLT).

Three times in passage above I read of Jesus stating, “You have heard the law that says.” In each case, Jesus repeated the common understanding of one of God’s laws and then showed how it had been distorted by widespread misinterpretation. The laws for divorce had gradually been reshaped into a freewheeling policy in which men could obtain divorce on a whim. In other settings (see Matthew 19:1-9), Jesus referred to the origin of marriage in the Garden and the designed lifelong nature of the relationship. Marriage, like everything else in creation, was marred by the fall of humanity. While stating what the law allowed due to the sins of people, Jesus still maintained the value of commitment in marriage. Although unfaithfulness might be a reason for a divorce, the damage of adultery also could be repaired with genuine repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation.

A person’s plainspoken “yes” or “no” ought to be as dependable as any elaborate vow. If someone can’t depend on our word, a vow does not increase our integrity. Jesus also rejected the idea that offenses of any kind must be retaliated. He showed his followers a radical alternative: going the second mile, turning the other cheek, loving one’s enemies. The idea of loving enemies goes against common sense. Jesus knew that common sense may cause us to respond contrary to God’s heart in a matter.

Think about this: Jesus must have had a twinkle in his eye when he pointed out that God “sends rain on the just and the unjust alike,” thereby sparing a lot of us from a good deal of embarrassment. Few of us can escape the reality of today’s passage (passage above). Jesus exposes the raw edge of many lives. His words uncover what we might try to keep hidden. Do this – Before the Lord, examine yourself to see if you have applying the law to the lives of others while exempting yourself from God’s call to deep personal integrity.

Thank Lord Jesus for his continual mercy,

and ask for his power to heal your own attitudes and actions.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Reference: Life Application Study Bible Devotional: Daily Wisdom from the Life of Jesus (Tynadale House Publishers, Inc., 2011).

Date Differently: (3G) Guys, Girls, Do it God's Way

I confess that I plagiarized and modified this article from Winkie Pratney’s Doorways to Discipleship (Communication Foundation Publishers, 1975), page 141-143. I also modernized the language and edited some ‘old’ words to familiar ones for easy reading and understanding. Yes, I will be responsible for any copyright laws suit – and for making this valuable message available online.  

[I think the title of this article is brilliant. Thank you]. God made us different. We can have friendships of many kinds that are shallow of the friendship of God. Some of the loveliest friendships of all are those that can develop in early years of getting to know the complimentary sex. It is wise to know the differences God has put in men’s and women’s personalities so we can understand how to date God’s way and understand how the “other” thinks. Based on this book that I read and my own personal experiences (mostly my failures to understand), I divided our differences into two categories: physical and mental.

Physical

Apart from fairly obvious sexual differences, God has made most men physically stronger than women. Now, I know there are exceptions, I know all about the woman who weights four hundred pounds, has a black belt in karate and can climb up mount Kinabalu with heavy luggage on her back. But usually, God made a man stronger physically so that he can protect his girl and take care of her. Now, girls turn physically into woman sooner than boys turn into men. When most guys are playing video games, running in gangs, and flying kites, girls their age are desperately falling in love with their math teachers! This mean a girl can have a woman’s body but a little girl’s mind. It can lead you girls into dating older guys.

It can also lead to trouble unless you know what’s happening and get ready for it. That’s why some fathers freak-out when they discover their little girl is going out somewhere with an older guy (Nicholas Spark, my favourite novel writer, know this). Dad have been around. They may not understand the reasons. But most probably they care about you, or even sometimes because they remember something of their own past with some guilt and regret. I do too.

Mental

There are usually mental differences between men and women. Now wait! Don’t judge me quickly. This has nothing to do with intelligence. A lot of woman are smarter than guys I know. If you realised, the Book of Proverbs is filled with warnings to men about the wiles of the strange women, but never feels it necessary to warn women about strange men. Girls can be every bit as brilliant as any man around, as far as thinking is concerned. The difference has to do with the ways God designed us to use our intelligence. There is a basic difference between the way a girl thinks and the way a man thinks.

A man operates like a computer. He is matter-of-fact. He is line-on-line, precept-by-precept person. He think logically in straight lines, adding fact to fact to get a conclusion. His thoughts go like this: “1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… and therefore, ‘bing!’ …7!”

A girl on the other hand thinks less like a computer than she does by a feminine form of ‘extrasensory perception’ (or can I call it ‘sixth sense’?). Her thoughts come in bundles from all over the place, as God has made her to be intuitive and inspirational. She has her ‘vibe’ collectors out everywhere, and she prefers to run by ‘their’ messages than by ‘normal’ channels of logic. Her thoughts may go like this on the above problems: “1… ah… 4… 3… ah… Bing!.. Therefore, 7!” This, of course, totally blows her boyfriend’s mind as my girlfriend did to me! He can’t even understand how she got from one place to another, how she came up with the right idea from all the wrong reasoning and all the wrong sources, or how in the world she can get the right answer from all the wrong logic. Give up, brothers! You’ll never do it. God probably didn’t intend for us to understand. He just made us so we can enjoy it, and be amazed and amused at the mystery of a girl.

Now This is Important

God made us different. We are equal to God, but we are different. These two basically different ways of looking at things make each sex superior to the other in the role God has given them. The girl is superior to the guy in her way of thinking when problems of life require an inspirational, intuitive, unstructured approach. She is good at seeing the whole picture, even if she isn’t sure how to put it together. The guy is superior to the girl when a problem needs logic, fact, analysis, and detail to solve it. He is good at putting a lot of little bits together in the right place. The girl tends to see the whole forest at once; the guy tends to go in and explore each tree. If each stays in the roles God gave them, He can bring maximum blessing to their friendship or later – partnership.

Right through the Bible, beginning at creation, God has set up two roles for both sexes: the girl must INSPIRE; the man must LEAD. Each one needs the other, and both need the Lord Jesus. This is God’s pattern. When we do what we were designed to do, we will find maximum happiness in our friendships with each other, in our courtship, and in marriage (as the original author thought it should be).

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Marriage is More Important than Love

Remember Futurama? Funny movie :) 

Elton Trueblood writes, “It may seem a gratuitous paradox, but the truth is that marriage is more important than love. Marriage is more important than love because it is the normal situation out of which true and abiding love arises. The popular notion, much encouraged by light friction and the motion picture, is that love is primary, marriage being a dull anti-climax. But this is vast error.

Real love hardly exists outside marriage. How could it? Real love is a slow growth coming from unity of life and purpose. Love is a product. It is a thing to be created by mutual service and sacrifice. Normally this service and sacrifice can exist only between married people and only if the bond is accepted as a permanent one.

Love outside of marriage or before marriage is largely romantic fiction. Before marriage there is a certain amount of passion and the mutual attraction which is the possibility of love. This is a good starting point, but it would be a very weak conclusion. The Hollywood mentality is in error because it supposes that this weak thing is love and that it is of primary worth.”

[Quote from Elton Trueblood’s Foundations for Reconstruction (New York: Harper and Brothers, 1946, 76]

Either you agree of this or not,

It comes from a person who know quite lots about marriage and love.

Something to think about.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Hymn to a Good Wife

Pic taken from: confessionsofacollegestu.blogspot.com

A good woman is hard to find,
    and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve,
    and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously
    all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons,
    and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places
    and brings back exotic surprises.
She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast
    for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it,
    then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work,
    rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work,
    is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth,
    diligent in homemaking.
She’s quick to assist anyone in need,
    reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows;
    their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing,
    and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected
    when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them,
    brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant,
    and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
    and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household,
    and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her;
    her husband joins in with words of praise:
“Many women have done wonderful things,
    but you’ve outclassed them all!”
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.
    The woman to be admired and praised
    is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God.
Give her everything she deserves!
    Festoon her life with praises!

(Proverbs 31:10-31, The Message) 

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

Sebab #2: Yesus Mati... Untuk Memberi Maksud Perkahwinan Dengan Lebih Dalam Lagi (2/10)

Kenapa Yesus perlu menderita dan mati?

Saya percaya bahawa ini ialah satu soalan yang sangat penting sekali pada abad ke-21.

Di sini ada sepuluh jawapan daripada Firman Allah.

Sebab #2: Untuk Memberi Maksud Perkahwinan Dengan Lebih Dalam Lagi

Tuhan tidak pernah menjadikan perkahwinan sebagai sesuatu yang sangat menyedihkan. Namun begitu, banyak sekali perkahwinan berakhir seperti itu. Itulah apa yang dilakukan oleh dosa... dosa menyebabkan kita melayani sesama kita dengan teruk sekali. Yesus mati untuk mengubah hal ini. Dia tahu bahawa penderitaan dan kematian-Nya boleh memberi maksud perkahwinan dengan lebih dalam lagi. Itulah sebabnya Alkitab menyatakan: “Hai suami, kasihilah isteri kamu, sebagaimana Kristus mengasihi jemaah, dan mengorbankan nyawa-Nya untuk jemaah” (Efesus 5:25, BM).

Tuhan menjadikan perkahwinan supaya suami akan mengasihi isteri sebagaimana Kristus mengasihi umat-Nya, dan supaya isteri memberi respon sebagaimana umat-Nya harus memberi respon kepada Kristus. Kasih seperti ini hanya boleh dicapai kerana Kristus telah mengorbankan nyawa-Nya untuk mereka suami isteri.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

*Dipetik dari risalah kecil '10 Reasons Jesus Came to Die' oleh John Piper (Wheaton: Good News Publishers) 

C.S. Lewis on Marriage and Love (Good for Singles too)

“[In marriage], Therefore a man shall leave his father

and his mother and hold fast to his wife,

and they shall become one flesh.”

(Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31, ESV)

Although C.S. Lewis wasn’t married at the time he wrote Mere Christianity (I recommend this book greatly!), he described marital oneness and love with amazing insight:

“The Christian idea of marriage is based on Christ’s words that a man and wife are to be regarded as single organism – for that is what the words ‘one flesh’ would be in modern English. And the Christians believe that when He said this He was not expressing a sentiment but stating a fact – just as one says that a lock and its key are one mechanism, or that a violin and a bow are one musical instrument. The inventor of the human machine was telling us that its two halves, the male and the female, were made to be combined together in pairs, not simply on the sexual level, but totally combined…

What we call ‘being in love’ is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for us… It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. Knowledge can last; principle can last; habits can last, but feelings come and go. And in fact, whatever people say, the state called ‘being in love’ usually does not last. If the old fairly-tale ending ‘They lived happily ever after’ is take to mean ‘They felt for the next fifty years exactly as they felt the day before they were married,’ then it says what probably never was nor ever could be true, and would be highly undesirable if it were.

Who could bear to live in that excitement for even five years? What would become of your work, your appetite, your sleep, your friendships? But, of course, ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love in this second sense – love as distinct from ‘being in love’ is not merely a feeling. It is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by (in Christian marriages) the grace which both parties ask, and receive, from God.

They can have this love for each other even at those moments when they do not like each other, as you love yourself even when you do not like yourself. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be ‘in love’ with someone else. ‘Being in love’ fist moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep the promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.”

(Quote from C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity, (New York: The Macmillan Company, 1958). Page 81, 84-85).

What an insight!

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.