Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sex. Show all posts

Monday, February 3, 2020

5 Ways to Overcome Sexual Temptation



Leaders, especially spiritual leaders are vulnerable to sexual temptation. A little touch, a harmless peek on the screen, time alone with the opposite sex, all these may lead to the fall. How to overcome these temptations? First, be encouraged by the Scripture which tells us we can overcome temptation with God’s help "... He [will] provide a way out so that you can endure it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). Then...

#1 Flee from it. “Flee from sexual immorality" (1 Corinthians 6:18). Learn from Joseph in Genesis 39.

#2 Trust God, not yourself. I know by experience; you alone can't handle it. Distrust yourself and trust God. Dependence on Him and not-self is the key to overcoming.

#3 Watch or be alert and pray. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:41).

#4 Put on the full armor of God. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes" (Ephesians 6:11)

#5 Fear the Lord. A healthy fear of the Lord is crucial to a successful walk of faith. If we fear God and think about His ways, we can choose to walk an upright life with His help.

🤲💪👌#ServeToLead #GrowingLeader
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Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Think and Grow Rich (1937) by Napoleon Hill and 13 Steps to Riches


Think and Grow Rich (first published in 1937, this is a modernized version)
by Napoleon Hill

I’ve read this book for the third times now. The first time was in 8th February 2010 and I was so excited to read it that I finished reading it on the 16th February. I probably can read faster today than 8 years ago, but if I can finish a book in 9 days in the olden days, then surely that book was very interesting. And it is! I might be not as wealthy as I want to be (not yet) but in my mind, I’m a rich person! This is not a positive self-talk, this is matter-of-fact. Because of this book, I learned to treasure my mind: keep it, nurture it and filled it with great inspirations and positive mental attitude. There is a reason why this book was entitled ‘Think and Grow Rich’ and not ‘Act’ or ‘Do and Grow Rich,’ because wealth – may it be spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically and intellectually – is a state of mind. As the saying goes: “Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.” It all started in the mind.

There are many things you cannot control, but you can control the only things that really matter: your mind and attitude. External forces have very little to do with success. Those who program themselves for success find a way to succeed even in the most difficult of circumstances. This quest for success has led Napoleon Hill to write this book. In 1908, as an unknown author and reporter, Hill got the opportunity of a lifetime to interview America’s richest man at that time, Andrew Carnegie. To cut the story short, Carnegie presented to the 25-year-old Hill a letter of recommendation that would grant him access to 500 men of top achievers (including Henry Ford, Alexander Graham Bell, and Thomas Edison) in business, politics, science, and religion in order to discover the common denominators for success. From these interviews, Think and Grow Rich was created and written. As history revealed, Hill and this book have given life to the personal development movement that has since swept the world! As Christian, read this book with cautious and discernment, but do not dismiss this book altogether. Read it and you’ll surely reap its benefits – for the sake of your mind.

This book covers The Thirteen (13) Principles and the Philosophy of Personal Achievement and Success. For each principle, I will quote Napoleon Hill and briefly comment:

Principle #1 Desire: The Starting Point of All Achievement. All of the top achiever started with a certain amount of dreaming, hoping, planning, and desiring before they became rich. They imagined riches before they even have it, Hill explains, “Wishing will not bring riches. But desiring riches with a state of mind that becomes an obsession, then planning definite ways and means to acquire riches, and backing those plans with persistence which does not recognize failure, will bring riches.”

Principle #2 Faith: Visualization of, and Belief in Attainment of Desire. Believe that you can achieve your goal. Growing rich starts with your mindset — with the belief that you can have it. Hill writes: “Riches begin in the form of thought! The amount is limited only by the person in whose mind the thought is put into motion. Faith removes limitations!”

Principle #3 Auto-Suggestion: The Medium for Influencing the Subconscious Mind. Turning desire for money or success into reality requires sending your subconscious mind phrases and affirmations that support your goal. You have to repeat out loud what it is that you want, and how you plan to get it, so you become obsessed with your purpose, Hill explains: “Your ability to use the principle of auto-suggestion will depend, very largely, upon your capacity to concentrate upon a given desire until that desire becomes a burning obsession.”

Principle #4 Specialized Knowledge: Personal Experiences or Observations. Knowledge is potential power. An education only becomes powerful and leads to great wealth when it is organized and applied to life. It also must be continually sought after. You're never done learning, Hill emphasizes: “Successful men, in all callings, never stop acquiring specialized knowledge related to their major purpose, business, or profession. Those who are not successful usually make the mistake of believing that the knowledge-acquiring period ends when one finishes school.”

Principle #5 Imagination: The Workshop of the Mind. If you can imagine it, you can create it, says Hill: “Ideas are the beginning points of all fortunes. Ideas are products of the imagination... Man's only limitation, within reason, lies in his development and use of his imagination.”

Principle #6 Organized Planning: The Crystallization of Desire into Action. Once you've visualized your success, you need to take action and go after exactly what you want. You must act with persistence and enthusiasm. Hill explains: “Opportunity has spread its wares before you. Step up to the front, select what you want, create your plan, put the plan into action, and follow through with persistence…”

Principle #7 Decision: The Mastery of Procrastination. A key trait Hill recognized in all of the individuals he studied was – decisiveness. Those who settle on decisions quickly know what they want and they tend to get what they want. He writes: “People who fail to accumulate money, without exception, have the habit of reaching decisions, if at all, very slowly, and of changing these decisions quickly and often.”

Principle #8 Persistence: The Sustained Effort Necessary to Induce Faith. Persistence is crucial when trying to accumulate riches – don’t-give-up spirit is a must! Hill writes: “Riches do not respond to wishes. They respond only to definite plans, backed by definite desires, through constant persistence.”

Principle #9 Power of the Master Mind: The Driving Force. To have a "Master Mind" group is to surround ourselves with talented friends and colleagues who share our vision. The alignment of several smart and creative minds is exponentially more powerful than just one, Hill explains: “No individual may have great power without availing himself of the ‘Master Mind’...” We become like the people we associate with.

Principle #10 The Mystery of Sex Transmutation. Sexual energy is an incredibly powerful human energy — it creates physical life and develops emotional life, and when it is harnessed and redirected, it can enhance our creativity, passion, enthusiasm, and persistence, all which are crucial in accumulating wealth. Hill says: “Sex desire is the most powerful of human desires. When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, willpower, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times.” And women too.

Principle #11 The Subconscious Mind: The Connecting Link. If you truly want to be rich, you have to plant that desire, and then your plan, into your subconscious mind. Hill writes: “The subconscious mind will not remain idle! If you fail to plant desires in your subconscious mind, it will feed upon the thoughts which reach it as the result of your neglect.”

Principle #12 The Brain: A Broadcasting and Receiving Station for Thought. Our brain is a “transmitter and receiver of thought vibrations" — it absorbs thoughts from other individuals surrounding us, making it even more important to associate with intelligent, creative, and positive individuals. Hill writes: “Every human brain is capable of picking up vibrations of thought which are being released by other brains…”

Principle #13 The Sixth Sense: The Door to the Temple of Wisdom. The final principle — the "sixth sense" — occurs only after you've mastered the other 12 principles. You'll experience a sort of mind-shift, Hill says: “Through the aid of the sixth sense, you will be warned of impending dangers in time to avoid them, and notified of opportunities in time to embrace them.” In short, trust your gut!

In the final chapter, Hill wrote How to Outwit the Six Ghosts of Fear, in which he exhorts us to take inventory of ourselves and to examine how many ‘ghosts’ that may have stopped us from thinking and growing rich. “Fear is nothing more than states of mind,” writes Hill, “One’s state of mind is subject to control and direction…” He ends this book with a challenging question: “Will you make the start and be convinced?” I can’t tell enough how much this book had changed (and continue to change) my mind and attitude about life and success in general. Famous authors like Anthony Robbins, Robert Kiyosaki, Zig Ziglar, Les Brown, Brian Tracy, Ken Blanchard, Bob Proctor, Mark Victor Hansen, Og Mandino and many more had been blessed by Napoleon Hill’s philosophy. I’m aware that there are articles and investigations on the life of Napoleon Hill and his works lately claimed that the real Napoleon Hill was not at it seems to be. Maybe true, maybe not (I only see Jesus Christ as the perfect Man and no others!). I also realized and very alert that some – if not, more than a dozen – of his teachings are not biblical sound. Regardless, as I read Think and Grow Rich, I’m taking a pragmatic approach. Enjoy!

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Thursday, November 8, 2018

Angelus' Quote: It's Time to Break Things Off


If you’re feeling too much pressure to have sex, you’re dating the wrong person – and it’s time to break things off. If you’re seeing someone who’s pressuring you to become sexually active, here’s an important question to ask yourself: Why, in the name of common sense, would you want to date a person like that? After all, if the person you’re dating really cares about you – and if that person wants to spend the rest of his or her life with you – waiting isn’t really a sacrifice, it’s an honor. But if the person you’re dating simply views you as sexual conquest, then you’d better run, run as fast as you can… in the opposite direction, to God and His Word.

Common sense tells you to wait; God’s Word commands you to wait, and your conscience begs you to wait. So wait! And if somebody tells you to do otherwise, you have absolutely no business dating them. If you’re feeling pressure from your date, it’s time to end your date.

Goodbye!


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Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Book Review: Manuscript Found in Accra (2013) by Paulo Coelho


Manuscript Found in Accra (2013) by Paulo Coelho

Since I first read The Alchemist, I've always loved Paulo Coelho's books. I think this book is the most spiritual of all. No doubt you can sense Catholic influence in all of his writings (he once attended Jesuit school); New Age mystical and philosophical ideas in every sentence; and obvious syncretistic* beliefs permeated in his narrations [*combining or blending all religious belief systems into a new system or doctrine]. With this awareness, as an evangelical Christian, I read this novel as frictional, fantasy and to some extend – inspirational. A solid Biblical (Christian) worldview is needed to filter some of these ‘unbiblical’ ideas and a gift of discernment should be applied when reading this book.

There are two things that I don’t like about this book. Let me tell you up front: 1) Some of the languages is too spiritual and mystical – too deep – that I couldn’t really comprehend what Coelho is really saying. I feel the same way when I read Henri Nouwen’s works. Sometimes I think I’m too worldly-minded and logical. And 2) Syncretistic belief is really confusing. I couldn’t pinpoint what Coelho really believes about God or god, Love, and Humanity. But these two reasons don’t stop me from liking this book. I love his concept of question-and-answer that he borrowed from the Greek method of learning. I appreciate his brieflessness and simplicity. I admire his ability to capture the imagination of his readers, his wisdom and story-telling power. Officially, Paulo Coelho is one of my favorite novelists together with James Rollins and Nicholas Sparks. Oh yeah!

About his book: In the year 1099, the people of Jerusalem awaits the invasion of the crusaders who have surrounded the city’s gates. There, inside the ancient city’s walls, men and women of every age, race and faith gathered together to hear the wise words of a mysterious man known only as the Copt. He has summoned the townspeople and the religious leaders around him and said: “None of us can know what tomorrow will hold, because each day has its good and its bad moments. So, when you ask your questions, forget about the troops outside and the fear inside. Our task is not to leave a record of what happened on this date for those who will inherit the Earth; history will take care of that. We will speak, therefore, about our daily lives, about the difficulties we have had to face…” With that, the people begin asking questions and the Copt answers them kindly and briefly.

There is no chapter division, so, I will divide this book into topics and include quotes that I underline throughout the pages of this book:

#1 Defeat. “Does a young man, rejected by his first love, declare that love does not exist? The young man says to himself: ‘I’ll find someone better able to understand what I feel. And then I will be happy for the rest of my days’… Ever since he fell in love for the first time and was rejected, he has known that this did not put an end to his ability to love. What is true in love is also true in war”; “Only he who gives up is defeated. Everyone else is victorious”; “Learn three important things: Wait patiently for the right moment to act. Do not let the next opportunity slip by you. Take pride in your scars”; “I here to tell you that there are people who have never been defeated. They are the ones who never fought”; “Woe to those who were never beaten! They will never be winners in this life.”

#2 Solitude. “If you are never alone, you cannot know yourself”; “In solitude, they will learn that saying ‘No’ does not always show a lack of generosity and that saying ‘Yes’ is not always a virtue”; “At life’s most significant moments we are always alone”; “Just as Love is the divine condition, so solitude is the human condition.”

#3 Usefulness. “Don’t try to be useful. Try to be yourself: that is enough, and that makes all the difference”; “A life is never useless. Each soul that came down to Earth is here for a reason”; “The people who really help others are not trying to be useful, but are simply leading a useful life. They rarely give advice, but serve as an example”; “Do one thing: live the life you always wanted to live.”

#4 Change. “It’s nice to dream… [But] dreaming carries no risks. The dangerous thing is trying to transform your dreams into reality”; “The angles say: ‘Now!’… Nature is telling us: ‘Change!’; “The Unwanted Visitor visits those who don’t change and those who do. But those who did change can say: ‘My life was an interesting one. I didn’t squander my blessing.’ And those who believe that adventures are dangerous I say, Try routine: that kills you far more quickly.”

#5 Beauty. “People always say: ‘It’s inner beauty that matters, not outer beauty.’ Well, that’s not true. If it were, why would flowers put so much energy into attracting bees?... Because nature longs for beauty, and is only satisfied when beauty can be exalted. Outer beauty is inner beauty made visible, and it manifests itself in the light that flows from our eyes”; “Beauty is present in all creation, but the dangerous fact is that… we allow ourselves to be influenced by what other people think”; “The world is what we imagine it to be”; “Beauty exists not in sameness but in difference.”

#6 Direction or Guidance. “Like the sun, life spreads its light in all directions… But, if we want to make a fire, we have to focus all the sun’s rays on one spot”; “He focuses not just on the goal to be reached, but on everything happening around him. He often has to stop because his strength fails him… Rest a little, but as soon as you can, get up and carry on. Because ever since your goal found out that you were travelling towards it, it has been running to meet you; “Only the person who accepts God’s plan with humility and courage knows that he is on the right road.”

#7 Love. “True Love, however, is the love that seduces and will never allow itself to be seduced”; “Love is an act of faith, not an exchange”; “It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”; “Love is only a word, until we decide to let it possess us with all its force. Love is only a word, until someone arrives to give it meaning”; “Don’t give up. Remember, it’s always the last key on the key ring that opens the door.”

#8 Choice. “I am going to think of this day as the first day of my life”; “I will look at everything and everyone as if for the first time, especially the small things that I have grown used to, quite forgetting the magic surrounding them”; “For the first time, I will smile without feeling guilty, because joy is not a sin.”

#9 Sex. “Sex goes far beyond pleasure”; “For most people, generosity consists only in giving, and yet receiving is also an act of love. Allowing someone else to make us happy will make them happy too”; “See sex as a gift, a ritual of transformation”; “[In sex] time will cease to exist, because in the land of pleasure-born-of-true-love, everything is infinite.”

#10 Respect. “Respect those who grew up and learned alongside you. Respect those who taught you”; “You will only be loved and respected if you love and respect yourself. Never try to please everyone; if you do, you will be respected by no one.”

#11 Elegance. “Elegance lies not in the clothes we wear, but in the way we wear them”; “What is simplicity? It is the coming together of true values of life”; “Elegance transforms complex thoughts into something that everyone can understand.”

#12 Work. “A poet: I fell asleep and dreamed that life was only Happiness; I woke and discovered that life was Duty; I did my Duty and discovered that life was Happiness”; “There are two types of work… The first is the work we do because we have to… The second type of work we call the Offering… The person making the Offering is always rewarded. The more he shares out his affection, the more his affection grows”; “The Offering is a wordless prayer. And like all prayers, it requires discipline – not the discipline of slavery, but of free choice.”

#13 Success. “People who seek only success rarely find it, because success is not an end in itself, but a consequence”; “Real success means: enriching your life”; “What is success? It is being able to go to bed each night with your soul at peace.”

#14 Miracle. “Each time we see the humble exalted and the arrogant humbled, we are witnessing a miracle”; “Miracles do not go against the laws of nature; we only think that because we do not know nature’s laws”; “Give us this day, Lord, our daily miracle.”

#15 Anxiety. “Anxiety was born in the very same moment as mankind. And since we will never be able to master it, we will have to learn to live with it – just as we have learned to live with storms”; “Although anxiety is part of life, never let it control you.”

#16 Future. ‘Our soul is governed by four invincible forces: love, death, power and time”; “When you are going through difficult times, remember: you may have lost some major battles, but you survived and you’re still here”; “What the future holds for you depends entirely on your capacity for love”; “The greatest gift God gave us is the power to make decisions.”

#17 Royalty. “What was broken will never be the same again”; “Royalty can never be imposed by force, fear, insecurity or intimidation”; “Where there is loyalty, weapons are of no use”; “True here is not the man who was born for great deeds, but the one who has managed to build a shield of loyalty around him out of many small things”; “The most terrible of all weapons is the word, which can ruin a life without leaving a trace of blood, and whose wounds never heal.”

#18 Enemies. “We will always meet rivals in everything we do, but the most dangerous are those we believe to be our friends”; “Beware of anyone who tries to please you all the time”; “Only fight with a worthy opponent…”; “Your enemies are not the adversaries who were put there to test your courage. They are the cowards who were put there to test your weakness.”

There are more topics that Coelho (or ‘the Copt’, the main character) covered in this book. But these 18 topics are the most obvious ones. Do you like these quotes? If you do, don’t settle with my summary-review – buy the book!

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Thursday, June 21, 2018

Tough and Tender: What Every Woman Wants In a Man by Joyce Landorf [Book Review]


Tough and Tender: What Every Woman Wants In a Man (1975, 1981)
by Joyce Landorf

What does a woman want in a man? Joyce Landorf Heatherley, musician, speaker, and author, wrote, "I think I speak for Christian women all over the world when I say we do not expect a man to be something he is not – some spiritual giant of the faith, a romantic knight in shining armour, or a man of unlimited wealth, power, and influence. No, these are not the qualities we long for. We want a man to be himself. God has designed each of us to be highly original with many varied skills and talents. We want our man to be uncompromisingly tough of character and gently tender of heart." I was shocked by the year of this book first published (1975) and the relevancy of the contents of it with today's situations and needs. Though I think this book should be retitled as ‘What Every Woman Wants In a Husband,' it is so helpful (and biblical) that every man – singles or married – will be encouraged by this book and should want to be tough and tender (This remind me of Stu Weber's book on manhood, Tender Warrior).

For example, when Joyce shared about the ‘Principle of Loving Starting in the Kitchen,' a young minister told her, "My wife and I get along very well, but we have one serious area of conflict in our lives. It seems every time we sit down to eat our evening meal, the phone rings, and it's always for me. My wife wants me to ignore it and let it ring, but I'm a minister and I feel guilty if I don't answer it… I'm torn between my responsibility to my church… and my love for the family… should I let it ring?" this is what Joyce writes: "The phone has now become a real necessity of life, but the longer I live with phones, the more I wonder if we aren't paying an unreasonable amount of attention to their ringing. Housewife drops everything from the laundry to (sometimes) the baby in order to answer a phone's urgency… The minister was right in his concern about his phone calls. Many people are just now beginning to evaluate and measure the extent to which a ringing phone will dictate their lifestyles."

So, Joyce helped this man to see the importance of focusing on the time together with his family and by not answering the phone during meal times give the important message to the family, "My wife is more important to me" and "My children are going to have my undistracted attention." This book was first published in 1975 when the first mobile phone was made in 1973 by Motorola weight about 1.1kg, only 30 minutes talk-time, and took around 10 hours to charge! How much more men today need to give an undivided attention to their family and away from the smartphone! This is only one example of how relevant and timely Joyce's insights for men's today.

This book is divided into eight (8) chapters:

Chapter 1: Thanks, Wife, I Needed That! In this chapter, Joyce wants to encourage men to "fall madly and passionately in love with your wife. See your children as the priceless gifts of God they really are. [And] celebrate life, no more existence. With tremendous joy and confidence celebrate daily as the man God wants you to be."

Chapter 2: The Man or the Myth? Here Joyce lists four top myths about what "the world" think what it took to be a man today (in 1970's and even today): 1) Physical attractive; 2) Have credentials; 3) Super-Jock sexually; and 4) Make it financially. "If you try these myths and compare yourself with them, it will be easy to lose the real man you are… Under fire and pressure, these myths do not hold up. You must be wise in seeking out God's direction and you must be constantly separating fact from fiction if you are to be the man and not the myth."

Chapter 3: The Decision Maker. Joyce was asked by other women, "Do you believe in being a submissive wife?" Her answer is: "Based on my husband's brand of leadership, is a resounding – yes! But keep in mind my yes is because of Dick's [her husband] faithfulness to being the husband God wants him to be." She continues, "The man who is a decision maker and a leader no longer presents the image of a stubborn, overbearing man; he is a tough man, dedicated to being God's man."

Chapter 4: The Spiritual Leader. About men and prayer lives, Joyce gives few workable and practical bits of advice to the husbands: 1) Make the time, in the ideal place, for conversational prayer with your wife; 2) Keep your requests simple, honest, and liberally sprinkled with genuine thankfulness; 3) Listen to your wife's requests with all your hearing ability; 4) Ask God to give you a keep sensitivity to know when to drop everything and right-then-and-there pray aloud; 5) Be real in praying; and 6) Before you pray, check your attitude and treatment of your wife. "Being the spiritual leader means being a spirit-filled man who commands in life, who teaches in love, and who respects others in love." He is the man like Joshua, a spiritual leader for the nation and his own family, "As for me, and my family, we will serve the Lord" (Joshua 24:15).

Chapter 5: The Exceptional Listener. Joyce said that listening is as tough as making the decisions and being the spiritual leader of your house, but it can be done. Here are some of her probing questions for men to reflect on 1) Have you already stopped listening? 2) Do you listen without presuming or judging? 3) Do you ever listen by touching? 4) Are you communicating in honesty? 5) Do you communicate in written words? 6) Are you a gut-level listener? And 7) Do you take time to listen? "It is up to you – in your house – to set the wheels of listening in motion."

Chapter 6: The Wise Gentleman. "I read once, and I can't remember where," recalled Joyce, "that the very best portion of a good man's life was found in his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love. I agree, and I must add that courtesy is the oil and lubricant for all relationships – but especially as used by the wise gentleman." To be a wise gentleman, Joyce suggestions husbands to: 1) Let her [wife] know you love her; 2) Let her know you respect her; 3) Invest in your wife's stock in front of your children; 4) Cultivate and maintain a sense of humour; and 5) Take a good look at the social manners in your life and home.

Chapter 7: The Gentle Lover. Basically here Joyce wrote about the husband-wife sexual relationship – and the communication and understanding before the sex, and why it's important. "The issue of being a gentle lover and the functions of sex in our lives is not nearly as important as the world around us makes it be. On the other hand, the ‘marriage bed' is definitely to be a part of our lives, our existence, and our enjoyment… I would pray for God's wisdom and direction. Since He created your human sexuality you can trust Him, even with your love life, to make your marriage bed a bed of joy and gentle loving."

Chapter 8: A Most Unlikely Man. I find that this chapter is the most inspiring and life-changing for me. "Above all," Joyce inspired the man in me to "be God's man, no matter how unlikely you may feel. As the man of today, you will not have an easy task in becoming the tough and tender man I have described. However, if you have truly laid your life and loves in God's hands, you have won half the battle. Press on, Dear Man. All our days here are so brief, but the time spent in learning to be God's man is worth every second of it!"

I closed this book with a renewed desire to be the man of God.
Praise God, and thanks, Joyce.

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Friday, February 17, 2017

A Lesson from Impatient Wife, Soft Husband and Proud Servant (Genesis 16:1-6)


Sarai, Abram’s wife, hadn’t yet produced a child. She had an Egyptian maid named Hagar. Sarai said to Abram, ‘God has not seen fit to let me have a child. Sleep with my maid. Maybe I can get a family from her.’ Abram agreed to do what Sarai said. So Sarai, Abram’s wife, took her Egyptian maid Hagar and gave her to her husband Abram as a wife. Abram had been living ten years in Canaan when this took place. He slept with Hagar and she got pregnant. When Hagar learned she was pregnant, she looked down on her mistress.

Sarai told Abram, ‘It’s all your fault that I’m suffering this abuse. I put my maid in bed with you and the minute she knows she’s pregnant, she treats me like I’m nothing. May God decide which of us is right.’ ‘You decide,’ said Abram. ‘Your maid is your business.’ Sarai was abusive to Hagar and Hagar ran away
(Genesis 16:1-6, The Message)

This is both encouraging and troubling: Abram’s life of faith was up and down like roller coaster. Encouraging because mine is like that too; and troubling because his doubtful- attitude is like mine too. Huh. In Genesis 15 we saw Abram believing God’s big-scale promise to make him a great nation. But in the next chapter we see him taking matters into his hands again.

Knowing Sarai couldn’t possibly bear children at her old age, she invited Abram to sleep with her maid Hagar in hope that she would bear a child (on behalf of her since Hagar was her bondage-servant) who would be the beginning of Abram’s great nation. At least start with one child. The promise, after all, said that Abram would become the father of great nation – it didn’t specify that the children he fathered had to be legitimate. Hello!

So Abram slept with the servant woman – clearly put: having sex – and she got pregnant. Soon Sarai began to realize what a mistake she had made. Hagar the Egyptian “looked down on her mistress.” She became proud, and probably felt loved by Abraham because she bore his child. This is a better drama than TV3 Malay drama. So Sarai could no longer stand the sight of Hagar. In her eagerness to help God keep His promise and in her unwillingness to wait for God’s timing and somewhat became queen control, Sarah traded in her dignity, and Abram (sadly) had let her. It was a tragedy, disastrous. Abram became soft. Hagar became proud. Sarai became abusive.

Wait. That’s what I learned from this story. It’s hard, but wait for God is the best thing to do. On waiting Charles H. Spurgeon writes, “If the Lord Jehovah makes us wait, let us do so with our whole hearts; for blessed are all they that wait for Him. He is worth waiting for. The waiting itself is beneficial to us: it tries faith, exercises patience, trains submission, and endears the blessing when it comes. The Lord's people have always been a waiting people.”


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Saturday, December 12, 2015

Jesus' Economy is Upside Down: The Woman's Faith is Big but Her Part is Small


[Based on Mark 4:24-34]
A chronic menstrual disorder. A perpetual issue of blood. Such a condition would be difficult for any woman of any area. But for a Jewess, nothing could be worse. No part of her life was left unaffected.

Sexually… she could not touch her husband.
Maternally… she could not bear children.
Domestically… anything she touched was considered unclean. No washing dishes. No sweeping floors.
Spiritually… she was not allowed to enter the temple.
She was physically exhausted and socially ostracized.
She had sought help “under the care of many doctors”…
She was bruised reed. She awoke daily in a body that no one wanted. She is down to her last prayer. And on the day we encounter her, she’s about to pray it.

By the time she gets to Jesus, he is surrounded by people. He’s on his way to help the daughter of Jairus, the most important man in the community. What are the odds that he will interrupt an urgent mission with a high official to help the likes of her? Very few. But what are the odds that she will survive if she doesn’t take a chance? Fewer still. So she takes a chance.

“If I can just touch his clothes,” she thinks, “I will be healed.”

Risky decision. To touch him, she will have to touch the people. If one of them recognizes her… But what choice does she have? She has no money, no clout, no friends, no solutions. All she has is a crazy hunch that Jesus can help and a high hope that he will… There was no guarantee, of course. She hoped he’d respond… she longed for it… but she didn’t know if he would. All she knew was that he was good. That’s faith.

Faith is not the belief God will do what you want.
Faith is the belief that God will do what is right
.

“Blessed are the dirt-poor, nothing-to-give, trapped-in-a-corner, destitute, diseased,” Jesus said, “for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:6, Max’s translation).

God’s economy is upside down (or rightside up and ours is upside down!) God says that the more hopeless your circumstance, the more likely your salvation. The greater you cares, the more genuine your prayers. The darker the room, the greater the need for light.

A healthy lady never would have appreciated the power of a touch of the hem of his robe. But this woman was sick… and when her dilemma met his dedication, a miracle occurred. Her part in the healing was very small. All she did was extend her arm through the crowd.
“If only I can touch him”…

Healing begins when we do something.
Healing begins when we reach out.
Healing starts when we take a step.
[Taken from He still Moves Stones (1993) by Max Lucado]


                                                THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Letters to Annie: Make the Decision to Abstain from Sex Before Married

Young girls, wait; Young boys, self-control.
Dear Annie,

            I miss you. And I love you even more today. It’s funny how I end up loving you with all my heart now. In my past relationships, I’ve been a jerk and made lots of mistakes that I will never ever repeat it again in the future. To tell you the truth, if the Holy Spirit doesn’t touched my heart and if my God-given conscience about sex outside marriage doesn’t stopped my youthful passion when I was young boy many years ago, I might cause a girl pregnant. Or two. I was that bad. Only God can save someone like me. God’s grace alone. I hope you still love me…

            The decision to have sex before I get married – or the decision to abstain from it – is a choice that will most certainly impact the rest of my life. To do or not to do. I know you knew about this too. That decision, Annie, will play an important role in the way we see ourselves, and the way we view relationships with each other. And if we not reminding ourselves and stand firm in God’s Word, our decision to have sex before married might result in an unexpected “surprise” pregnancy. Let’s not contribute to the statistics.

            Annie, as for me personally, I’ve face many temptations. The decision to consciously abstain from sex before married was a very important and hard decision for me. It was a great struggle for me as I’m not always ‘godly’ all the time. Even if I’m good with conducts, my thoughts were sinful. So I looked to God for help. Only He can gives me wisdom to make a decision that might just change the direction of my life. “Happy is the person who finds wisdom,” proclaimed the wise man, “the one who gets understanding” (Proverbs 3:13). As J.I. Packer writes, “The fruit of wisdom is Christlikeness, peace, humility, and love. And, the root of it is faith in Christ as the manifested wisdom of God.

So I say, I will not have sex until I’m married! I must trust the inner voice of my conscience. I should be obedient to the teaching of God’s Word. I respect God, myself and you. You’re precious to me Annie. You’re my love one as much as you’re God’s special daughter. I write this to you because I want you to know my stand (and I trust we have the same conviction about no sex outside marriage) and because, if in the future I behave improper in regard to sexual boundaries, you may remind me of my commitment. And if necessary, slap my face hard, very hard so that I can be reminded of God’s wrath against those who disobey Him.

I love you…
I love you…
I love you…
I can wait…
                                                            May God’s strength empowered us,
Richard

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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Sunday, October 25, 2015

Letters to Annie: Love (Not Lust) is the Greatest Way to Build a Lasting Relationship


Dear Annie,

            My most beautiful Annie. I love you. How to explain my love for you? If we try to build a relationship with one another based only on physical attraction, we’ll be disappointed, especially you. Lasting relationships aren’t built upon lust, they are built upon love – real love.

But first, how can I define love? Hmmm… most definitely, I understand that it’s something more than physical attraction (though you’re amazingly beautiful to me, inside-out). Genuine love is patient, understanding, consistent, consideration and commitment. I hope you agree that genuine love doesn’t just sit around and do nothing; it gets translated into acts of caring and kindness – both large and small.

            Love is always a choice. I choose you; you choose me. Initially, of course, we may “fall in love,” but it takes work to stay there. We may be “swept off our feet,” but the “sweeping” is only temporary – sooner or later, if our love is to endure, we must plant our feet firmly on the ground. The decision for us to love one another for a lifetime is much more than the simple process of “falling in” or “being swept up.” It requires “reaching out,” “holding firm,” and “lifting love.” Love, then, becomes a decision to honour, respect, and care for the other person, come what may!

            “Love is a force more formidable than any other,” writes Barbara De Angelis, “It is invisible – it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.” It’s hard for me to explain my love for you, this quote is the closest one to my heart.

Because I love you this much (see my hands open wide), sex can wait! I’m really serious about us, and we, I hope, are really serious about putting our Lord Jesus Christ first, and it is worth the wait!

 Is that enough for me to explain my love for you?
Well, we’re just getting started. There will be many stories and experiences ahead of us.
God’s love for us is enough and able to sustain our love for one another
– as long as we both love Jesus first. This is the greatest way to build our relationship.
I’m praying for us. Will you pray too?

Your man,
Richard
P.s: I miss you!

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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Monday, October 12, 2015

If You're Feeling Too Much Pressure to Have Sex, You're Dating the Wrong Person


For God has not called us to impurity, but to sanctification
(1 Thessalonians 4:7,
CSB)

A pure theology and a loose morality will never mix
(C.H. Spurgeon)

If you’re feeling too much pressure to have sex, you’re dating the wrong person – and it’s time to break things off. If you’re seeing someone who’s pressuring you to become sexually active, here’s an important question to ask yourself: Why, in the name of common sense, would you want to date a person like that? After all, if the person you’re dating really cares about you – and if that person wants to spend the rest of his or her life with you – waiting isn’t really a sacrifice, it’s an honor. But if the person you’re dating simply views you as a sexual conquest, then you’d better run, run as fast as you can… in the opposite direction, to God and His Word.

Common sense tells you to wait; God’s Word commands you to wait, and your conscience begs you to wait. So wait! And if somebody tells you to do otherwise, you have absolutely no business dating them. If you’re feeling pressure from your date, it’s time to end your date.
Goodbye!


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Sunday, February 22, 2015

God Loves the Homosexual


I have braved a few real-life conversations with homosexual friends. I distinctly remember how I felt on each occasion. Queasy mostly. Knowing that Christians often have a head start in the race of bigotry, I had no desire to win us any additional medals. In each conversation, my Christian affiliation betrayed me. Hence, my homosexual friends gestured knowingly at the back pocket of my soul where I had temporarily stuffed the fact that homosexuality does not fit with my faith.

On one rare occasion, I even initiated the conversation… only because my friend hoped our Christian group would embrace his homosexuality and faith and perhaps join him in championing homosexuality as a non-sin.

Fearing he might be emotionally stir-fried in group, I offered a gentler “CliffsNotes” of the responses he might encounter. This forced me to disclose the contents of my back pocket. To pull out, unfold, and display the wrinkles and stains on my evolving take on homosexuality and faith. There were dozens of tangible traits I cherished about my friend, and I told him so. But – in a voice trembling with nervousness and compassion – I confessed I was afraid my friendship might seem insincere if I couldn’t affirm what he held to be the central part of his identity: his sexuality.

As far as I can tell,” I gulped, “the Bible only introduces one kind of sexual union, and that is between a man and a woman. So, I have to believe this is the course that leads to the fullest life – the life the Creator intended for us.”

When I spit out these defining sentences, I worried all my friend could hear was Blah-Blah-Christian-Blah-Blah. But he stared back at me kindly, so I continued, thankful there were no microphones or flashbulbs as I struggled forward in my statement about homosexuality.

I want you to know I believe God loves every person deeply and equally. That includes the homosexual. It would be dishonest for me to pretend I agree with or understand the path you believe is right, but I accept that you are free to choose your own life course. That is not because I’m especially charitable or generous, but because God is.”

I think the conversation changed me more than my friend, because it forced me to acknowledge parts of God’s will I sometimes overlooked. To accept that God doesn’t want me to do things even he does not choose to do – to control or hijack someone else’s freedom. I am not asked to impersonate the Holy Spirit but to live a life that gives of God’s fluorescence. And I resolve to remember that God often allows us to learn just as much as we travel our chosen paths as we would have if we had walked only his lighted portions.

But wait, we protest, that is like saying that God allows learning even when we go the wrong way. But wait, we continue, now that we think about it, that sounds a whole lot like grace.

Sarah Raymond Cunningham
Author, Dear Church: Letters from a Disillusioned Generation
Quote from Unchristian by David Kinnaman and Fermi Project (Baker Books, 2007) pg. 113-114

As for me, Richard, I believes that God loves the homosexual
Yet, I also believes that God in the Bible disapproved homosexual relationship
But wait, God’s grace is big enough for homosexuality… it just take time to change
Jesus can do the impossible. He is able.
THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
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Saturday, August 16, 2014

(18SX) Yusuf Berlari Apabila diajak melakukan Hubungan Sex: Homoseksual, Gila atau Setia?

Gambar yang mungkin akan mencetus kontroversi...
Dalam Alkitab Perjanjian Lama, kisah tentang Yusuf sangat menarik sekali. Pada permulaan kisahnya, dia sangat dicemburui oleh sepuluh orang abang-abangnya kerana dia selalu mendapat perhatian (yang utama) oleh bapa mereka, Yakub. Bahkan, mereka sangat membenci Yusuf sehinggakan dia dicampak ke dalam perigi dan dijual sebagai hamba dan kemudian berbohong kepada bapa mereka, Yakub, bahawa dia sudah diterkam oleh binatang buas sehingga mati (baca Kitab Kejadian bab 37 ayat 12 hingga 33). Kejam, kan?

Yusuf yang tercedera itu dijual dan dibawa oleh pedagang-pedagang Midian ke Mesir. Di sana dia dibeli oleh seorang pengawai raja yang menjadi ketua pengawal istana yang bernama Potifar. Bagaikan sebuah cerita dongeng kanak-kanak (tetapi yang ini benar-benar berlaku dalam sejarah), kisah hidup Yusuf menjadi semakin menarik. “TUHAN menolong Yusuf sehingga dia selalu berjaya dalam segala pekerjaannya. Dia tinggal di rumah tuannya, orang Mesir itu. Tuannya melihat bahawa TUHAN menolong Yusuf dan memberi dia kejayaan dalam segala yang dilakukannya. Potifar suka kepada Yusuf dan melantik dia menjadi pelayan peribadinya; lalu Potifar memberikan tugas kepada Yusuf untuk menguruskan rumah tangganya dan segala kepunyaannya” (Kejadian 39:2-4, BM). Potifar sangat kagum dengan kebolehan Yusuf sehinggakan “segala sesuatu yang dimiliki oleh Potifar dipercayakannya kepada Yusuf” (39:6). Wow!

Nota: Kisah ini terlalu menarik dan banyak ‘kebetulan’ sehinggakan saya berfikir jika ini tidak ditulis di dalam Firman Allah dan mempercayai bahawa TUHAN seringkali melakukan mukjizat dalam kehidupan kita – saya mungkin tidak percaya. Oh TUHAN, Engkau yang sangat baik!

Yusuf dikurniakan sebagai seorang yang “berbadan segak dan kacak” (39:6). Pendek kata – lelaki yang cun! Kelebihan menjadi seorang lelaki yang cun empat ribu tahun dahulu sama seperti sekarang: gadis-gadis pasti terpikat dan sentiasa mendapat perhatian ramai wanita. Dalam kes Yusuf, gadis itu atau wanita itu ialah isteri Potifar (bunyi latarbelakang jeng jeng jeng). Dia “berahi terhadap Yusuf... mengajak pemuda itu tidur bersama dengan dia” (39:7). Apa yang kamu akan lakukan jika kamu berada dalam keadaan Yusuf? Jika kamu mendapat kepercayaan sepenuhnya oleh majikanmu, bukankah ini peluang terbaik? Tidak bagi Yusuf! Dia teguh dengan pendiriannya dan menjawab,

Maaf, puan, Tuan Potifar sudah mempercayakan segala miliknya kepada saya. Dia tidak perlu memikirkan apa-apa lagi di rumah ini. Kuasa saya sama besar dengan kuasanya di dalam rumah ini. Tiada sesuatu pun yang tidak dipercayakannya kepada saya kecuali puan. Bagaimana mungkin saya melakukan perbuatan sejahat itu dan berdosa terhadap Allah?” (Kejadian 39:8-9, BM).

Yusuf menyedari bahawa jika dia meniduri isteri Potifar dia berdosa terhadap TUHAN dan menyalahgunakan kepercayaan tuannya. Walaupun Yusuf menunjukkan bahawa dia seorang yang setia dan sangat berintegriti – isteri Potifar tidak peduli. Isteri Potifar menggoda Yusuf dengan berkata “Marilah kita tidur bersama” (39:12). Yusuf meronta sehingga dapat lepas lalu lari keluar. Marah dan kecewa dengan tindakkan Yusuf, isteri Potifar mereka-reka cerita yang Yusuf ingin merogolnya kepada pelayan-pelayannya dan kemudian kepada suaminya. Oleh itu, Yusuf ditangkap dan dimasukkan ke dalam penjara. Namun begitu, “TUHAN menyertai Yusuf sehingga dia berjaya dalam semua pekerjaannya” (39:23). [Kisahnya tidak habis disini, baca bab 40 hingga 47 untuk mengetahui kisah Yusuf selanjutnya].

Apakah mesej yang TUHAN ingin sampaikan kepada kita sekarang? Dua perkara yang saya belajar melalui kisah ini ialah; Pertama, bak kata Yusuf dalam akhir-akhir kehidupannya, “Kamu sudah bermuafakat untuk melakukan kejahatan kepadaku, tetapi Allah mengubah kejahatan itu menjadi kebaikan” (Kejadian 50:20). Abang-abangnya menjual dia menjadi hamba di Mesir, Tuhan menjadikan dia “Gabenor seluruh Mesir” (41:43). Iblis ingin mengurung dia di dalam penjara, Tuhan memberikan kebijaksanaan dan membebaskan dia. Dunia mahu dia gagal dan keluarga meninggalkannya, Tuhan menyertai dan membuat dia berjaya dalam semua pekerjaannya. Sebagai umat TUHAN kita jangan mudah kecewa dan putus asa terhadap kejahatan yang dilakukan kepada kita. Ketahuilah bahawa Allah itu baik, Dia akan mengubah kejahatan menjadi kebaikan.

Kedua, dalam percubaan dan penggodaan (terutamanya sebagai seorang lelaki) jangan percaya kepada diri sendiri, tetapi tetap teguh dalam iman danlari ke luar” (39:12). Ramai daripada kita mempunyai iman tetapi kita tidak bertindak sesuai dengan iman itu. Secara rohani, iman itu cukup untuk menghindari kita daripada berbuat dosa. Tetapi secara praktikal, jika kita tidak lari daripada cubaan dosa kita akan mudah jatuh walaupun pada mulanya kita mempunyai iman yang kuat. Yusuf merupakan seorang yang jujur, setia, beriman dan menyembah TUHAN yang benar tetapi dalam pencubaan – dia lari ke luar. Begini, apabila kita lari dari percubaan dosa kerana iman dan kesetiaan kita kepada TUHAN, pada masa yang sama, iblis juga akan lari daripada kita. Inilah yang dimaksudkan dalam Kitab Yakobus 4:7: “Oleh itu, taatlah kepada Allah. Lawanlah iblis, maka iblis akan lari daripada kamu.Bagaimana melawan iblis?Jangan percaya kepada diri sendiri tetapi lari kepada TUHAN! Seperti Yusuf, kita harus setia kepada Allah!


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Friday, October 26, 2012

Teen Pregnancy: Sex… and a bit on Virginity

Introduction: Cases out of Control
This year alone I have received news from extended family and friends that some of their daughters are having pregnancies underage. In my own village, there are at least two cases that end up with early ‘premature’ marriage. In Malaysia alone, the teenage girls are getting pregnant with a major hospital recording at least one case every day. If that is not heartbroken enough, The Star (Sept 22, 2010) reported that the Health Ministry recorded 18,652 births by girls below the age of 19 last year compared with 5,962 in the second half of 2010.  According to Dr Mohamad Farouk Abdullah, senior consultant and head of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital, about 14% of the 12,000 babies delivered annually at the hospital were by teenage mothers with many of them unwed.

Teenage pregnancies are becoming a disturbing trend in Malaysia. “Many cases have gone unreported,” said Datuk Michael Chong, MCA Public Services and Complaints Department, “They become lost and some even ran away from home. Others threw away their newborn babies.” In most cases, the girls became pregnant because they were in relationship and end up with ‘experimental’ sex rather than because of force rape. Both couple normally, if the boyfriend didn’t runaway, will end up with ‘premature’ marriage – unplanned wedding, unblessed by their parents, ashamed by their immediate family, ciaos relationship and other more long-term disastrous outcomes follow (Thus, we should help them as able as we could).

This is not right, something have to change. Our attitude about sex need to change, our mindset about purity need to be heightened and our teaching and practice on Christian chastity need to be radical! Sex has become a recreational activity. Feel boring, sex. Need to unstress, sex. Party and have fun, sex. It seems to me that Malaysian’s friendly hand shake has been replaced with ‘whole body’ shake – and this is just a ‘test’ of getting to know one another. Date end with bed. Do now think later. Pregnant now, married later… only if it’s too late to abort the baby.

God’s Gifts: Sex and Virginity
Please don’t misunderstand me; sex in itself is not evil and dirty, it is beautiful as it was portrayed in the book of The Song of Solomon. In fact, it is God’s gift to humanity. “Men and women are sexual creatures” writes David Cook, “but that does not mean that it is necessary to express that sexuality in a genital way in order to be a man or woman. Jesus never engaged in sexual intercourse, but he was a real man and fully human. We are far more than our genitals.” God’s gift of sex is set in context of the committed relationship of marriage. Therefore, any bodily sex outside marriage is prohibiting in the Scripture. It is called fornication, immorality – SIN! [I have written an article on this issue of sex before marriage. Click the title to read: Sex: Save it for the Best!”]

Before I conclude this unorganized, scattered article, I would like to share a bit about virginity. During my father and mother’s generation, they told me, the high view of the integrity of and respect for the other person was founded not only on love but also on virginity. Today, the concept of virginity is often laughed at. To be a virgin can be scoffed and ridiculed, yet our virginity is a gift from God too. If sex is God’s gift for you to enjoy mutual love intimacy with one another in the context of marriage; virginity is your gift to your partner in the context of respect and integrity. If you’re still virgin, you’re special indeed.

Conclusion
There are many more things to write but I don’t want to bore you. I want to write about how you can stay pure while you are now in a relationship. I tempted to write on how you can experience God’s forgiveness if you already breakdown the sacred boundary, I would one day wish to write about the enjoyment of having sex after marriage… but I have no (some are not yet) credentials to write all of these. Therefore, I restrain myself to do so.

I, however, have a vast amount of confidence that I do have credential to call you, my beloved readers in line of many cases of sex misused (for example, teen pregnancies outside marriage), with the authority of the Scripture, to make or remake a vow to stay pure from sexual immorality. “It is God’s will that you should be holy; that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). The true nature of love (especially in 1 Corinthians 13) is more than having sex. Love say no to sex before marriage, and all yes to it when “two become one flesh” (Mark 10:8, also Genesis 2:24). This is for your own good, enjoyment of sex to the highest purpose. God’s commandments concerning sexuality always serve your best interests. Adele Ahlberg Calhoun points it out:

“[God’s commandments] are life-giving commands, not life-thwarting regulations. God calls adultery and sexual promiscuity bad because these behaviors are destructive to your life. These behaviors do not serve wholesome, healthy relationships, and they don’t bring true freedom.”

We are the temple of God on earth.
The Holy Spirit inhabits our bodies.
And Christ lives in us.
THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.
 ...............................................................................................

Are you seeking for God’s forgiveness now?

Forgiveness is not based on the magnitude of the sin, but on the magnitude of the forgiver’s love: Lord Jesus Christ. Ronald A. Beers writes, “Nothing you’ve done is so bad that God’s complete and unconditional love can’t forgive it. The Bible does, however, mention one unforgivable sin: harboring an attitude of defiant hostility toward God that prevents you from accepting his forgiveness. Only those who don’t want his forgiveness are out of its reach. No matter how seriously you’ve messed up, it will never be enough for God to turn his back on you and deny forgiveness when you ask him for it.”

God in the Scripture says, “Come now, let’s settle this’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.’” (Isaiah 1:18).

This is God’s forgiveness – would you come to Him?
Lord Jesus said, “Come…
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