Teen Pregnancy: Sex… and a bit on Virginity

Introduction: Cases out of Control

This year alone I have received news from extended family and friends that some of their daughters are having pregnancies underage. In my own village, there are at least two cases that end up with early ‘premature’ marriage. In Malaysia alone, the teenage girls are getting pregnant with a major hospital recording at least one case every day. If that is not heartbroken enough, The Star (Sept 22, 2010) reported that the Health Ministry recorded 18,652 births by girls below the age of 19 last year compared with 5,962 in the second half of 2010.  According to Dr Mohamad Farouk Abdullah, senior consultant and head of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the Tengku Ampuan Rahimah Hospital, about 14% of the 12,000 babies delivered annually at the hospital were by teenage mothers with many of them unwed.

Teenage pregnancies are becoming a disturbing trend in Malaysia. “Many cases have gone unreported,” said Datuk Michael Chong, MCA Public Services and Complaints Department, “They become lost and some even ran away from home. Others threw away their newborn babies.” In most cases, the girls became pregnant because they were in relationship and end up with ‘experimental’ sex rather than because of force rape. Both couple normally, if the boyfriend didn’t runaway, will end up with ‘premature’ marriage – unplanned wedding, unblessed by their parents, ashamed by their immediate family, ciaos relationship and other more long-term disastrous outcomes follow (Thus, we should help them as able as we could).

This is not right, something have to change. Our attitude about sex need to change, our mindset about purity need to be heightened and our teaching and practice on Christian chastity need to be radical! Sex has become a recreational activity. Feel boring, sex. Need to unstress, sex. Party and have fun, sex. It seems to me that Malaysian’s friendly hand shake has been replaced with ‘whole body’ shake – and this is just a ‘test’ of getting to know one another. Date end with bed. Do now think later. Pregnant now, married later… only if it’s too late to abort the baby.

God’s Gifts: Sex and Virginity

Please don’t misunderstand me; sex in itself is not evil and dirty, it is beautiful as it was portrayed in the book of The Song of Solomon. In fact, it is God’s gift to humanity. “Men and women are sexual creatures” writes David Cook, “but that does not mean that it is necessary to express that sexuality in a genital way in order to be a man or woman. Jesus never engaged in sexual intercourse, but he was a real man and fully human. We are far more than our genitals.” God’s gift of sex is set in context of the committed relationship of marriage. Therefore, any bodily sex outside marriage is prohibiting in the Scripture. It is called fornication, immorality – SIN! [I have written an article on this issue of sex before marriage. Click the title to read: Sex: Save it for the Best!”]

Before I conclude this unorganized, scattered article, I would like to share a bit about virginity. During my father and mother’s generation, they told me, the high view of the integrity of and respect for the other person was founded not only on love but also on virginity. Today, the concept of virginity is often laughed at. To be a virgin can be scoffed and ridiculed, yet our virginity is a gift from God too. If sex is God’s gift for you to enjoy mutual love intimacy with one another in the context of marriage; virginity is your gift to your partner in the context of respect and integrity. If you’re still virgin, you’re special indeed.

Conclusion

There are many more things to write but I don’t want to bore you. I want to write about how you can stay pure while you are now in a relationship. I tempted to write on how you can experience God’s forgiveness if you already breakdown the sacred boundary, I would one day wish to write about the enjoyment of having sex after marriage… but I have no (some are not yet) credentials to write all of these. Therefore, I restrain myself to do so.

I, however, have a vast amount of confidence that I do have credential to call you, my beloved readers in line of many cases of sex misused (for example, teen pregnancies outside marriage), with the authority of the Scripture, to make or remake a vow to stay pure from sexual immorality. “It is God’s will that you should be holy; that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). The true nature of love (especially in 1 Corinthians 13) is more than having sex. Love say no to sex before marriage, and all yes to it when “two become one flesh” (Mark 10:8, also Genesis 2:24). This is for your own good, enjoyment of sex to the highest purpose. God’s commandments concerning sexuality always serve your best interests. Adele Ahlberg Calhoun points it out:

“[God’s commandments] are life-giving commands, not life-thwarting regulations. God calls adultery and sexual promiscuity bad because these behaviors are destructive to your life. These behaviors do not serve wholesome, healthy relationships, and they don’t bring true freedom.”

We are the temple of God on earth.

The Holy Spirit inhabits our bodies.

And Christ lives in us.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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Are you seeking for God’s forgiveness now?

Forgiveness is not based on the magnitude of the sin, but on the magnitude of the forgiver’s love: Lord Jesus Christ. Ronald A. Beers writes, “Nothing you’ve done is so bad that God’s complete and unconditional love can’t forgive it. The Bible does, however, mention one unforgivable sin: harboring an attitude of defiant hostility toward God that prevents you from accepting his forgiveness. Only those who don’t want his forgiveness are out of its reach. No matter how seriously you’ve messed up, it will never be enough for God to turn his back on you and deny forgiveness when you ask him for it.”

God in the Scripture says, “Come now, let’s settle this’ says the Lord. ‘Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.’” (Isaiah 1:18).

This is God’s forgiveness – would you come to Him?

Lord Jesus said, “Come…”