The Hidden Value of a Man: The Incredible Impact of a
Man on His Family (1992)
by Gary Smalley and John Trent
As a man, the authors
writes, whether you realize it or not, own two “swords,” two form of power – a silver-handed sword called man’s
positional power, and a gold-handed sword called man’s personal power.
Positional power is “the clout, control,
prestige and authority that come to a man because of where he works or what he
does. It’s his job title, his resume… it’s the number of academic degrees he
has earned… it centres on an image… and doing whatever it takes, to whomever,
to increase and maintain the image of excellent.” Personal power on the
other hand is “the ability to develop
meaningful, fulfilling relationships; a willingness to do whatever it takes to
strengthen our families and find the help we need to overcome any strains in
our marriages.” Both are important, but men today lack personal power, the
gold-handed sword, said the authors. “When
you speak of a man’s personal power, you immediately think of words reflecting
character like warmth, sensitivity, dependability, determination, genuine
compassion and caring.”
Deep down, men may realize
something of the power they have to touch the lives of their families, wives
and children. But because we don’t understand how does it work and when to use
it, we stumble along the way. We sometime have no real concept of the damage
caused by our actions, our words, our absence, even our silence (just like my
dad). As with smoking or alcohol abuse, we don’t see the damage immediately. So
it’s easy to think that because everything looks fine on the outside, problems
aren’t building up on the inside. Both authors are counsellors tell
real-life-stories about how a child’s heart is within a man’s reach, the
strength of a fulfilling marriage is within a man’s reach, and the destruction
of our society lies within a man’s reach. “When
will we realize we’re so powerful that we can’t ‘do our own thing’ without
affecting everything and everyone around us?” For good and bad, for better
and worst.
I’m not married yet, but I
read this because I want to change my way of using my silver and gold swords,
to equip myself in Biblical manhood, to improve my family relationships, and as
preparation for marriage life. Successful in the world of work is important,
but men also need to be successful at home. This is even more important. This
remind me of 1 Timothy 3:5, “For if a man
does not know how to rule his own house, how will he take care of the church of
God?” Great question!
This book is divided into
14 chapters, namely:
#1 The Hidden Value of a Man
#2 The Two Swords of Value in Every Man
#3 When We Fail to Pick Up the Gold Sword
#4 Creating Your Own Gold Sword
#5 Seven Reflections of the Gold Sword, Part 1
#6 Seven Reflections of the Gold Sword, Part 2
#7 Being Male May Be Hazardous to Your Family’s Health
#8 The Little “e” Can Spell Big Trouble
#9 Women Who Hide Our Swords
#10 Healing the Hole in Our Hearts
#11 When Actions Don’t Measure Up to Words
#12 The Hidden Power of Friends
#13 What to Do When Nothing Else Words
#14 Master of the Gold Sword
I love how this book end
with Jesus Christ, the Master of the Gold Sword. Wow! I bought this book at second-hand
book fair at The Hill, Kuching for only RM3.90.
THINK BIG.
START SMALL. GO DEEP.
