The Five Dysfunctions of a Team: A Leadership Fable (2002) by Patrick Lencioni, Book Review

I finished reading this last week. Insightful and challenging book. The format is simple, just like the One Minute Manager Series if you're familiar with Ken Blanchard's books. It's a leadership fable (a short fictional story with lessons) about Kathryn Petersen, Decision Tech's new CEO, who faces a typical and dangerous leadership crisis that will bring down the company if it's not treated quickly, namely, a dysfunctional core team. The storyline seems quite realistic to me, and the context of the story helped get the lessons across nicely.  "Not finance. Not strategy. Not technology," writes Patrick Lencioni, "it is teamwork that remains the ultimate competitive advantage, both because it is so powerful and so rare." I've worked in companies and currently, in NGO and volunteer group. I say it's true. Teamwork is powerful and rare, often talk about but lacks examples.

The five (5) dysfunctions of a team model consist of: 1) ABSENCE OF TRUST. This is due to invulnerability. "Team members who are not genuinely open with one another about their mistakes and weaknesses make it impossible to build a foundation for trust." 2) FEAR OF CONFLICT. "Teams that lack trust are incapable of engaging in an unfiltered and passionate debate of ideas." So, team members resort to politics and guarded comments. This will lead to 3) LACK OF COMMITMENT. Why? Because there is no ownership and buy-in to the ideas or decisions. So, this naturally deteriorates to 4) AVOIDANCE OF ACCOUNTABILITY and 5) INATTENTION TO RESULTS. Besides invulnerability, the enemies are artificial harmony, ambiguity, low standards, and an unhealthy ego.

Well, being aware and in the know of all of these dysfunctions is not enough. Read the book to get a better picture of why teamwork is crucial today. Plus, the book also includes a team assessment and suggested tools to overcome obstacles and strengthen your team (I also would like to recommend At The Table and The Working Genius podcasts with the author). I wanted to try to apply some of them in my leadership field. But keep Mr. Lencioni's words in mind: "[The Model] is simple, at least in theory. In practice, however, it is extremely difficult because it requires levels of discipline and persistence that few teams can muster."

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #Teamwork #TheFiveDysfunctions #Leadership #PatrickLencioni #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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The Disappearing Act: The Impossible Case of MH370 (Mudlark, 2021) by Florence de Changy, Book Review

I checked the internet, how much can I quote from a book without permission? The answer is various from which sources and publications. On average, less than 300 words is safe, I estimate. Let me take the risk, assume ignorance, and quote this book at length without giving the gist and juice of the book that we - reasonable Malaysians and perhaps the majority of informed people in the world - don't already know: "The key to a successful disappearance is diversion: grab the audience's attention and make them look elsewhere while you execute your sleight of hand. If MH370's 'disappearance' is indeed a sleight of hand on a massive scale, there has been a fantastic simultaneous effort of diversion, and seemingly more than one.

"The world's media has been complicit in the affair, mostly passively, by not questioning enough, and occasionally actively, by spreading unchecked, erroneous, or false information. Public opinion is not and is not supposed to be, that gullible. Everyone knows the MH370 story does not add up. Everyone knows a Boeing 777, possibly the safest plane in the history of civil aviation does not disappear without a trace in one of the most politically sensitive regions of the planet. So rather than being incredible, the official narrative is simply not credible. Yet the idea that we are being blatantly cheated by the governments we are supposed to trust is so uncomfortable and so problematic that, for the sake of our mental comfort, we choose to look elsewhere and welcome any alternative explanation, including one that makes no sense and falsely accuses a decent man of being a mass murderer" (Taken from Epilogue: The Disappearing Act, page 345-346)

To quote Ms. Changy again and as she always said in all of her interviews [check YouTube] sometimes casually, sometimes frustrate, "To me, claiming that Flight MH370 could have disappeared sounded like an insult to human intelligence." I agree wholeheartedly by underlining this phrase in the book with a 1.5mm black ink pen! Reading this book near Malaysia's 15th General Election is adding to my already lack of truth in the government. By the way, I enjoy reading Ms. Changy's 400+ pages of investigative journalism and gripping account of one of the most profound mysteries of the 21st century (although the word 'mystery' is unnecessary because there are people who knew!). I like that she provided as many facts as possible (of course, sometimes I questioned her sources), outline the incident well, explain some alternative scenarios, when into the testimonies of the families of missing passengers, interviewed interesting people, and quite a vast knowledge on current political situations, military arrangements and some aviation technical lingo (which I have to admit my limited comprehension in this area).

As any journalist would do, as much as she wanted to be objective, she is not without personal biases and interpretations. Read this book not with an open mind but with a critical mind. Focus on the obvious and always ask good and right questions. This is one of the lessons I learned from Ms. Changy. Because only with good and right questions we can get answers. Although, with MH370, it may take some time. As my favorite childhood TV series, The X-Files tagline says, "The truth is out there." Buy this book!

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #TheDisappearingAct #MH370 #FlorenceDeChangy #CurrentAffair #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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The 5 Essential People Skills, (2004) by Dale Carnegie, Sort-of-Book Review

The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, 

and Resolve Conflicts (2004) by Dale Carnegie

I've read How to Win Friends and Influence People and The Leader In You (to read my review, CLICK HERE) and so this is a refreshing and reminding course for me. Naturally, I'm not a people person. It's not that I don't love people, but people can be troublesome. In the past, I have no problem using people and influence them for my benefit but intentionally want to help and develop people? That one requires continuous learning, practicing, and humility. This book - and others like John C. Maxwell’s Winning with People - have helped me a lot  As I enter the workplace and serve in the ministry, people skill is even more important. Dale asserts, "No matter what your line of work, even if it's in one of the technical professions, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people."

The five (5) Essential People Skills are:

#1 Rapport Building
#2 Curiosity
#3 Communication
#4 Ambition
#5 Conflict Resolution

I want to summarize each skill but after some thought, it is better if you learn it for yourself. I suggest you don’t need to read the book, just listen to the audiobook. You can get so much value from just listening. Go to YouTube for the audiobook (for personal use only), CLICK HERE.

#ServeToLead #1Book1Week #LeadersAreReaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #PeopleSkills #DaleCarnegie

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Ten (10) Questions for Successful Team

"We don't work for each other," says Stanley C. Gault, "we work with each other" 😉 In my opinion, team leadership is the highest leadership there is. Successful teams are ones whose members say YES - to big dreams, to great challenges, and to each other 💪

Take a look at the following ten (10) questions 👇 by John C. Maxwell's book, Teamwork Makes the Dream Work. If you and your teammates can say YES to them, then you are well on your way to accomplishing your dream:

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Learn Manhood from David #3 Overcome Family Dysfunctions, Low Self-Worth and Wanted-to-Proof Syndrome

"In the same way, all seven of Jesse's sons were presented to Samuel. But Samuel said to Jesse, ‘The Lord has not chosen any of these.' Then Samuel asked, ‘Are these all the sons you have?' ‘There is still the youngest,' Jesse replied. ‘But he's out in the fields watching the sheep and goats.' ‘Send for him at once,' Samuel said. ‘We will not sit down to eat until he arrives.'"

(1 Samuel 16:10-11, NLT)

Since finished diploma at UiTM, I was very driven to be knowledgeable, smart, and insightful. I studied all the time – night and day, devour books on various subjects, learning online, and attended seminars and talks (free and paid). When I asked myself, what drives me to become who I was and am today, I was shocked by my own answers. Partly, as I was growing up, my parents never tell me that I'm smart. Because I didn't further my study like any other of my friends after diploma (due to financial difficulties), some of them look down on me. I can see that in their eyes. The elders in the church and family members have that ‘look' when I told them that I'm working as such and such. Unimpressive. A friend of my girlfriend told her that if she married me, she will get nothing, no future. Since, I determined that someday, somehow, I'd prove them all wrong! All of this inner turmoil and the desire to proof-myself haunted me early on. Now, with Jesus Christ as my Saviour, He saved [and still in the process of saving some part of] me from being weight down by people's opinion and divert my [same] motivation toward glorifying God in my life.

The fact is, others that are close to us and especially families form us into who we are. In the Bible, young David didn't have great family and friends encouragement either, and the lack of it affected his entire life. His family situation set him up for tough times ahead. In fact, his family was as dysfunctional as they come. His brothers constantly antagonized him, and his father neglected him (and most traditions said that David was Jesse's son from another wife and born out of wedlock). Talk about the potential for developing a poor self-image! As a result of the way his family treated him, David apparently struggled his whole life with a performance-based personality and a drive to prove himself worthy at all costs. His family left an indelible mark on his life as he gained power, influence, and significance. During one of our Bible Study, someone responded to how David deals with his rebellious son, Absalom: "David is a good king, but a bad father." Guess who he it learned from?

Typically, our family dysfunctions drive us either to overcompensate for what is lacking in our most fundamental relationships or to rely more fully upon God to take up the slack we've experienced in those relationships. For example, you may have received certain messages from your biological family that now are contributing to patterns of sin in your life. You may hold the aching pain of loss within you, you may want to prove to others that you have what it takes, or you may want to show that you're in control. Many men medicate themselves daily by overworking, overeating, raging, viewing pornography, drinking alcohol, or by pursuing ‘success' – whatever it takes! These are how we hide our pains or maybe as our escape tactics. Yet, our anxiety continues, and life remains somehow incomplete – in spite of their wonderful outward appearances.

So now we men must ask ourselves, How do we overcome the hand we've been dealt and take responsibility for our lives? How do we let our self-worth, fears, and anxieties move us closer to God rather than farther away? How did David do this? One of the clue we can find it during his final speech to his son, Solomon before his death: "I am going where everyone on earth must someday go. Take courage and be a man. Observe the requirements of the Lord your God, and follow all his ways. Keep the decrees, commands, regulations, and laws written in the Law of Moses so that you will be successful in all you do and wherever you go…" (1 Kings 2:2-3). Only God can change you inside-out, so be Fathered by Him. And by His Son, you will be made new – and His Word can overcome the hurtful and destructive past, and move you toward a better future. It’s not a onetime event, of course, it’s a process. Men, for His glory!

Have Courage.

Be A Man.

Observe and Keep God's Word in Your Life.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

John C. Maxwell on Leadership #14 Secure Leaders Can Take the Heat

Insecure leaders are dangerous – to themselves, their followers and the organizations they lead. That’s because a leadership position becomes an amplifier of personal flaws. Whatever negative baggage you have in life only gets more difficult to bear when you’re trying to lead others.

Insecure leaders have several common traits:

1) They Don’t Provide Security for Others: There’s an old saying: “You cannot give what you do not have.”

2) They Take More from People than They Give: Insecure people are on a continual quest for validation, acknowledgment, and love. Because of that, their focus is on finding security, not instilling it in others. They are primarily takers rather than givers, and takers do not make good leaders.

3) They Continually Limit Their Best People: Show me an insecure leader, and I’ll show you someone who cannot genuinely celebrate his people’s victories. Insecure leaders hoard power. In fact, the better his people are, the more threatened he is.

4) They Continually Limit Their Organization: When followers are undermined and receive no recognition, they become discouraged and eventually stop performing at their potential. And when that happens, the entire organization suffers.

[Taken from The 21 Indispensable Qualities of A Leader: Becoming the Person Others Will Want to Follow (1999) by John C. Maxwell. Published by Thomas Nelson, Inc.]

Are insecurities hindering your potential as you lead others?

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Ragnarok: The End of the Gods (2011) by A. S. Byatt: Book Review

Ragnarok: The End of the Gods (2011) by A. S. Byatt

Since Marvel movie Thor, I'm fascinated by Norse mythology (Edith Hamilton's book Mythology also influenced me too). Thor latest movie entitled Ragnarok (2017) really exposed me to this end-time term for the end of the gods. This god-man, monster-alien, good-evil characters are very interesting for me because, as George Lucas once said, "Mythology gives you a sense of what a people believe, what they fear." One of the reasons I like to read books is so that I can learn other people's beliefs. In this short novella, A.S. Byatt captures the spirit of Norse mythology with short (I like!) and poetic prose (I don't like poetry). She tells this end-times story from the point of view of a 'thin girl' who escapes to this mythology during WWII.

The events of WWII are cleverly contrasted against the horrific events of the mythology of Ragnarok and the death of the gods. In the end, A.S. Byatt clarifies that she chose "to use particular translations and aspects of the story" in her retelling to not give a happy ending to the story. The story of Ragnarok she suggests here (in its mythic nature) is not meant to be a happy story. Unlike fairy-tales or any other narrative, a myth is not a story with happy endings. Myth always evolves and never end.

The one thing preventing me from enjoying this to a greater extent on a personal level was the poetic prose. Flowery language is not my strength. I wish to read a straightforward novel (I know myth supposed to be poetic). Adding to this the fact that I already knew the stories of the Norse gods quite well and this became a rehashing of familiar material for me. That said, it was well written and neatly constructed with an interesting narration device to show the point of view of a reader of these myths. I fully recommend anyone with a passing interest in Norse myths to read this short tale. It only takes you about 30 minutes to finish it.

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Where Is God When It Hurts? (1977, 1990) by Phillip Yancey

Where Is God When It Hurts? (1977, 1990) by Phillip Yancey

When my friend, Aderus Helen, died on 28th February 2018 due to lung cancer, I was devastated. I know him since he was a student and were there with him in and out of the hospital. The night after he died, I wrote this on my Facebook post [now already deactivated]:

"Knowing him first at TCS CF, I'm a staff and he was a student. Naturally, he was a quiet person, but when we became a friend I considered him as talkative. To shut him down, sometimes I challenged him with hard questions. During studies and after, he was very active in the ministry. Sometimes he joined me and Peter to camps and trips. And then, to cut the story short, he was diagnosed with bone cancer. It ended up with painful chemo and imputation of his right leg. I was there when he received his artificial leg. We who know him will no doubt recognize his amazing faith, this is his obvious gift (1 Corinthians 13:9). He was a simple preacher, ordinary, in fact, but an amazing encourager and motivator. His stories and experiences inspired his hearers... Growth!

"...Years later, he has to be admitted again. Cancer cells recurrence again. On hospital bed again. Lung cancer. Fluid-filled his lungs. He still can smile, talk and have a set of wish-list-after-discharged (he wanted badly to watch Black Panther!). His faith never wavers. When I and Steven came to visit, our topic was not about mortality but Monopoly.  But once in a while, he inserted faith-statement: ‘I'm ready to be with my Father.' He doesn't want to bring his laptop because he said, ‘I want to read the Bible' during his time in the hospital. Once I asked him, had he thought about getting married, he replied, ‘There is one girl who takes an interest in me... But I have to reject her, for her own good, because I don't want her to feel sad after I'm gone.' Wise but sad.

"When it was just both of us, we played chess. I never pretended to be a looser, I tried hard to defeat him, but he was so good with chess that he wins every time! After a week, he transferred to Radiotherapy building. It was hot there, so I bought him a fan. One night his nose was bleeding. Then the next day his back hurt, so he couldn't really sit properly. The next day he was in a very painful state. His stomach hurt, probably gastric. A few days later, he was using oxygen cylinder by his side. The night before he couldn't breathe properly. Many times, I told him to tell others that he is in the hospital, but he refused. Sad faces, unnecessary words and healing prayers (in front of him) are not helpful. He did tell his pastor, some other Christian leaders, and friends. Basically, he wanted to be unnoticed. We respect that. But the immediate implication of that is loneliness (his mother only came after he changed wad).

"One day he texted me, ‘When are coming to visit me in this filthy place?' Jokingly, I replied, ‘Tonight, this filthy man will visit his site!' There was this moment when I and Steven came, and about to open Monopoly games cards, he said, ‘Tonight I can't, maybe tomorrow after I'm getting better.' After few days, he was not getting better. He speaks less, he kept himself awake but once in awhile his eyes will close, and I saw his sad face. Before I went to KL, my last meeting with him was on Monday morning with Ibi. ‘Next week I come back,' I said, ‘we go watch Black Panther.' He knew that I knew that it was impossible. ‘I'm going back to Sibu tomorrow if the doctor allows me,' was his last words. We went back, he sleeps.

"This morning, I (and some others who frequently visited him) received a painful news. Everyone shocked. I'm speechless... From beginning to his end... I suspect his faith waver a little bit, but I know, sure as I'm alive today, that his hope was unshakeable. Here is a man who faced death once, used all his energy and passion to preached Jesus his Saviour until he faced another battle, facing death again, but now forever alive in the Saviour! As for all of us, we are alive, but are we really living? Don't waste your life! Aderus is our example of faith, hope, and love. I'm sad, but at the same time - rejoices!"

So you know, I asked God the exact question: Where is God when it hurts? This book (and my other meetings with colleagues) helped me during those dark moments. I underlined and meditate on this book, struggle with every statement, rejoice with every pearl of wisdom, and checked all the Scripture quotes which slowly restored my faith. Although most of my questions are remain unanswered, I gain trust in the goodness of God. "Everyone will face a crisis of doubt in his entire Christian life," Bishop Hwa Yung once told me. Yancey words resonate with me when he wrote at the conclusion of this book: "My anger about pain has melted mostly for one reason: I have come to know God. He has given me joy and love and happiness and goodness. They have come in unexpected flashes, in the midst of my confused, imperfect world, but they have been enough to convince me that my God is worthy of trust. Knowing him is worth all enduring."

[P.s: This is not a book review after all. I just want to say that this book helped me in my struggles. I recommend this book wholeheartedly.]

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus says Love and Hate are a Matter of Life and Death (1 John 3:14-15)

“If we love our Christian brothers and sisters, it proves that we have passed from death to life. But a person who has no love is still dead. Anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart. And you know that murderers don’t have eternal life within them”

(1 John 3:14-15, NLT).

The Apostle John reminds us that in becoming followers of Jesus Christ, we actually “passed from death to life.” Proof of this is that: “we love our Christian brothers and sisters.” Showing love is vital evidence of our faith in Christ. It is the surest sign that we really do belong to God. To show hatred or indifference, on the other hand, is to be dead in a spiritual sense (read 1 Corinthians 13 about the nature of love).

We are also reminded here that we should show love, especially to God’s people, “our Christian brothers and sisters” in God’s family. One of the great benefits of being a Christian is that we never need to feel alone or rejected (but sadly, some people want to be alone). We are part of a family with relatives all around the world. And the bond of closeness that can develop is unlike that which happens in any relationship. Some of us are even closer to our brothers and sisters in Christ than our actual physical family! Indeed, God is our Father, Jesus is our older Brother, and fellow believers are our spiritual family. What a Big Family of God!

Just as we should look after the brothers and sisters in our earthly families, God wants us to look after and care for our new relatives – those who are in our spiritual family. This also means that when we try to think of ways to show love, we should not shut ourselves off from people nearby who are in need. Right in our communities some people are lonely or hungry and need clothing or attention. Love will do something about it. Love, the Greek word agape, is not so much a matter of emotion as it is of doing things for the benefit of another person, that is, having an unselfish concern for another and a willingness to seek the best for another [as explained in the Amplified Bible]. “Let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions” (3:18).

Let’s talk about the subject of hatred. The Scriptures speak strongly about it. John says that “anyone who hates another brother or sister is really a murderer at heart.” The outward act may be different. In one case (murder), we actually do physical harm to someone; and in the other (hatred), we may wish he or she were dead. Both are the same by God’s standards. Why? Because to God the inner feelings of murder and hatred are the same. And if we don’t deal with our feelings of hatred, we may end up doing great harm to others. Jesus says, “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! If you call someone an idiot, you are in danger of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell” (Matthew 5:21-22). That’s a serious matter, my friends. 

Do you have anger and hatred toward your brothers and sisters in Christ now?

Remember: “Hatred stirs up quarrels, but love makes up for all offenses” (Proverbs 10:12)

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus Asks for Your Loyalty: God the Father or Money of this World (1 John 2:15-17)

The picture was taken from: https://www.worldmissionmagazine.com/

“Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For the world offers only a craving for physical pleasure, a craving for everything we see, and pride in our achievements and possessions. These are not from the Father but are from this world. And this world is fading away, along with everything that people crave. But anyone who does what pleases God will live forever”
(1 John 2:15-17, NLT).

Apostle John here is telling us to be careful not to love the world or anything in it. Now, what does John really mean by this? Does he mean the physical world – that we should go around and tear out all the plants and trees we see, pollute the air and water, and kill all the animals? Of course not. From the beginning of history, God told human beings to use the resources of this world carefully, for they were all created by Him for a special purpose (see Genesis 1:28-31). Nor John is telling us to hate the people of the world, for “God loved the world so much” (John 3:16).

If John does not mean the physical world or the people of the world then, what does he mean when he tells us “do not love this world”? I’m convinced that what he means is the pagan society, the values of this world, and the ungodly worship of false gods. This is the world we should not love. During the time of John (even today), he noticed that some believers had left their faith and joined other faiths, or had no faith at all. The persecution of the early Christians had been terrible – ridicule, imprisonment, torture, and even executions. Understandably, the pressure had been so great that some Christians decided that it just wasn’t worth all of the effort to maintain their faith.

The early Christians were having to pay the price for their faith in a way that many of us today may find hard to understand. Can you imagine if your job or choice of colleges or your very life depended upon whether or not you renounced your faith? (Oh, maybe you can) Now, can you imagine how strong that pressure might have been on the early Christians? But even then, no excuse – in the past, present, or future – the Christian faith calls people to be special or unique, not necessarily odd, just different. Our Christian values may be quite different from those who are nonbelievers. Instead of letting the world, our friends, or neighbors determine what is important, we are to ask God and study His Word and live by Biblical values that show that we honor God and want to please God first over everything. “Anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.”

Maybe you have felt this pressure from the world recently. Our greatest pressure today is not in the form of persecution but tolerance, comfort, and conformity. For example, people entice you to join a wild party and drink alcohol because it is “cool” today, or the world trends influence your hairstyles and makeup, or gaining your status and recognition thru fashions and collecting materials, or having no religion or mixing all the religion into one, etc. even it is the dumbest things to do.

Way back when Lord Jesus was on earth, He made it very clear that love for God and the world are mutually exclusive. Jesus acknowledged how powerful the pressures are to have money and material things and said we have to choose between two masters: God the Father or money (represents all the values and ungodly worship of false gods): “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money” (Matthew 6:24). The Apostle James went even further when he said: “Friendship with the world is hatred toward God” (James 4:4). Does Jesus mean that we have to make such a choice, God or money? Can’t we have the best of both worlds? No. I’m afraid not. The powers and pressures of this world are so strong that a divided loyalty just doesn’t work in the long run.

The pressures of living in the world are so subtle but so strong that before long, our energies would go towards the worship of those things that are not of God – the need for power, popularity, and money. To “love this world” means to worship or be devoted to the world – to put your energies, attention, and hard work into making the world the most important part of your life. No matter how much we get of these things, it never seems to be enough. We can’t be satisfied with all of these except with God. The more you focus on the world, the less focus you have on God and what is really important in your life. Pleased God, not the world. Remember “Anyone who does what pleases God will live forever.” Amen.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Letters to Annie: Lasting Relationships are Built Upon Trust and Honesty

Dear Annie,

            It will always be you. I can’t imagine what my life will be if there is no you. When you said you love me, I trust you. I trust you to be faithful because you also want me to be faithful to you too and I want nothing else, except for you to be happy. I read in the book of Zechariah 8:16, “These are the things you must do: Speak truth to one another; render honest and peaceful judgements in your gates.” God is the God of truth, and to trust is to tell the truth. Let us be transparent to one another.

            From my observations and personal failures, I learned that lasting relationships are built upon honesty and trust. Without trust, people soon drift apart. But with trust, relationships grow and flourish (But envy, jealousy and unwarranted suspicious are trio-evils in relationships). Even though we’re not married yet, I like what Ed Young recommends to young couples in his book, “Trust is like ‘money in the bank’ in a marriage. There must be a reasonable amount of it on deposit to ensure the security of a marital union.” As Christians, by God’s grace we should always be trustworthy, encouraging and loyal. “The single most important element in any human relationship,” writes Catherine Marshall, “is honesty – with oneself, with God, and with others.” We should be thankful for the people who are loyal to us. I’m very thankful for you.

            I asked myself, Do I want Annie to trust me? and Do I want my friends to trust me? Yes, yes for both. Then I thought, if I want people to trust me, I should first be a friend that they can trust. We first become who we want people to be and to treat us. We don’t demand trust. We grow it, we give it away – we earn it. If we ever having an issue of trust in the future, let’s take Charles Swindoll advice: “Whatever you do when conflicts arise, be wise. Fight against jumping to quick conclusions and seeing only your side. There are always two sides on the streets of conflict. Look both ways.”

 I want to build a firm foundation of trust with you – no shaky foundations. A foundation of meaningful relationships. If we want our relationship to last, trust God, be honest and trustworthy. But then again, let’s not too focus on ourselves. God is our greatest priority, without Him we are nothing. Psalms 20:7 says, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses [some in human relationships]: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God” (Bracket mine).

God be honour and gloried in us.

I call you tonight.

I miss you.

Your faithful,

Richard

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Refleksi tentang Pengganas ISIS: Pergi, Menukar Agama atau Mati?

Pengganas-pengganas ISIS di Iraq, sedang mereka menakluki banyak lagi kawasan, telah membuat ramai orang Kristian dan orang bukan Islam (malah orang Islam sendiri yang tidak bersependapat dengan mereka) terpaksa membuat keputusan samada untuk meninggalkan kawasan mereka atau memasuki Islam secara paksa atau mati dibunuh dengan kejam. Pada hari ini ramai orang di dunia terkejut dan takut kerana mereka menyangka bahawa tindakkan untuk menukar agama melalui pedang adalah sesuatu perkara yang lepas. Mereka sudah silap. Bagi kita yang tahu perkembangan isu semasa tentang pemahaman radikal Islam (merujuk kepada istilah ‘radikal’ yang negatif) dan tentang tindakkan pengganas yang kejam, ini sudah menjadi perkara biasa – tidak mengejutkan kita.  Dan bagi orang Kristian yang mengkaji Alkitab, kita seharusnya sudah tahu bahawa ini akan terjadi.

Tuhan Yesus Kristus sendiri sudah memberi amaran: “Kemudian kamu akan ditangkap dan diserahkan untuk diseksa and dibunuh. Semua orang akan membenci kamu kerana kamu pengikut-Ku” (Matius 24:9, BM); “Berbahagialah kamu apabila orang membenci, menolak, dan menghina kamu, serta memburukkan kamu kerana Aku” (Lukas 6:22); “Jika dunia membenci kamu, ingatlah bahawa dunia sudah membenci Aku lebih dahulu” (Yohanes 15:18).

Rasul-rasul Yesus juga menulis: “Semua orang yang mahu hidup beribadat dan bersatu dengan Kristus akan dianiaya” (2 Timotius 3:12); “Sahabat-sahabat yang aku kasihi! Kamu sekarang menanggung penderitaan yang berat kerana kamu sedang diuji. Janganlah hairan dan janganlah anggap perkara itu luar biasa” (1 Petrus 4:12); “Oleh itu, saudara-saudaraku, janganlah hairan jika orang di dunia ini membenci kamu” (1 Yohanes 3:13).

Akan ada masanya nanti bila dunia akan membenci dan menganiaya semua pengikut Kristus yang benar. Ianya tidak akan terhad kepada mereka yang tinggal di tempat negara-negara pengganas, malahan juga kota-kota kecil yang namanya tidak pernah kita peduli selama ini. Keganasan dan penganiayaan lambat-laun akan berlaku – mahu ataupun tidak – di tempat kita sendiri. Saya tidak pasti samada orang Kristian sudah bersedia untuk perkara seperti ini. Saya berharap ramai diantara kita sudah bersedia. Masanya akan tiba. Adakah kita akan lari meninggalkan tempat ini atau menjual iman kita atau terus mempertahankan iman kita walaupun ianya akan membawa kepada kematian. Ini persoalan saya.

Orang Kristian di negara barat sudah semakin lemah. Kebanyakkan mereka sekarang mendefinasikan dan memperkecilkan maksud “kasih” sebagai “toleransi” terhadap apa saja termasuk ajaran sesat, palsu dan menyeleweng. Orang Kristian di Asia terutamanya dan di dunia khususnya harus bersatu dan bersedia untuk mempertahankan iman kita dengan kasih Kristus. Kasih yang benar harus diberitakan dan dipertahankan pada masa yang sama. Tragedi yang terjadi kepada saudara-saudari Kristus kita yang mengalami penderitaan di tangan kumpulan pengganas ISIS harus menjadi siren untuk kita bangkit semula dan bangun daripada tidur rohani kita! Kita harus berdoa untuk mereka dan bersedia jika ada apa-apa yang kita boleh lakukan untuk membantu mereka. Tetapi, kita juga harus sedar bahawa apa yang terjadi kepada mereka akan terjadi kepada kita suatu hari nanti.

Saya tidak bertanya adakah kamu bersedia dengan senjata dan alat perang kamu; saya bertanya, “Adakah kita sedia untuk meninggalkan tempat asal kita atau sedia untuk menukar agama dengan menjual iman yang hidup kepada yang lain atau sedia untuk dianiaya yang mungkin membawa kepada kematian kerana Yesus?” Apakah keputusan yang kita akan buat? Meninggalkan tempat asal kita mungkin satu keputusan yang harus dibuat. Berdiri teguh dan sanggup mati demi iman kepada Yesus juga satu keputusan yang mungkin kita harus ambil (Begitu sukar… saya tidak dapat bayangkan). Bertukar agama juga satu keputusan yang mungkin akan dibuat, tetapi ini menunjukkan bahawa orang itu tidak pernah menjadi pengikut Kristus yang sebenar. Ada satu lagi pilihan yang boleh dibuat, iaitu, melawan balik. Tetapi di dalam Alkitab Yesus secara peribadi dan dalam ajaran-Nya tidak pernah melawan balik musuh. (Dia akan menghakimi pada Akhir Zaman setiap tindakkan orang yang melakukan kesalahan setimpal dengan perbuatan mereka) Secara manusiawi saya ingin melawan balik, tetapi Yesus tidak mengajar begitu. Oleh itu, Tuhan Yesus, Engkau kuatkanlah kami yang lemah ini!

Namun begitu, saya optimis bahawa penganiayaan yang berlaku di Iraq pasti telah membawa ramai lagi orang untuk mencari kebenaran dan menerima Yesus Kristus sebagai Tuhan dan Juruselamat mereka. Memang tidak mudah untuk saya berkata begini kerana ramai penduduk Iraq dan orang-orang disekeliling mereka bukan hanya dianiaya dan dibunuh, malah, ada diantara mereka disembelih, dipenggal dan digantung seperti daging yang dijual di pasar. Semuanya dilakukan atas nama “TUHAN.” Apa yang berlaku sekarang tidak ada bezanya dengan sejarah dahulu. Oleh itu, ini juga yang berlaku sekarang: Sejarah membuktikan bahawa apabila orang Kristian dianiaya, Berita Baik akan cepat lagi tersebar dan ramai lagi orang akan menerima kebenaran tentang Yesus Kristus sebagai Tuhan dan Juruselamat mereka. Kenapa ini berlaku? Saya berkata demikian kerana penganiayaan “memaksa” kita untuk mencari kebenaran dan memberi fokus kepada kita tentang apa yang terutama di dalam hidup ini. Membayangkan pisau atau senapang diacukan di atas kepala kita akan menyebabkan kita fokus kepada apa yang penting sekali. Yesus. Yesus. Yesus.

Wahai saudara-saudari Kristus yang saya kasihi sekalian, jika menjadi seorang Kristian, iaitu, pengikut Kristus yang benar akan mengakibatkan nyawa kita terancam, jadi, adalah lebih baik (malah tindakkan yang bijak) sekiranya kita hidup untuk Tuhan Yesus Kristus. “Sesiapa yang mempertahankan hidupnya akan kehilangan hidup sejati, tetapi sesiapa kehilangan hidupnya kerana dia pengikut-Ku, akan memperoleh hidup sejati” (Matius 10:39). Jika mengikut Yesus bermaksud kita harus pergi ke kayu salib, maka kita harus memberitakan Berita Baik tentang kematian dan kebangkitan-Nya dengan seluruh kehidupan kita. Jika ada orang yang ingin membunuh kita kerana kita seorang Kristian, maka mereka tidak perlu bertanya atau ragu-ragu samada kita adalah benar-benar Kristian atau tidak. Roh Kudus menyertai kamu. Amen.

Senang untuk saya menulis, tetapi sama-samalah kita merenungkannya.

[Jika saya ditahan oleh polis kerana menulis artikel ini, tolong ikat jamin saya okay?]

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Confessions of a Racist Christian

Few years ago I was riding a taxi from Kuala Lumpur to Petaling Jaya. While in the car, when a traffic light changed to red, the driver was forced to stop immediately. It was a shocked to me. Three gangster-like Indians men were crossing the street and were stunned by the driver’s quick braking. They shouted at my Malay taxi driver outside the window. They banged on the taxi’s hood. They kicked the wheels. Not so hard, but they kicked it anyway.

At that moment, the Malay taxi driver blamed the Indians for crossing to soon. The Indians were pissed off and said something not nice. Both parties says racist statements. Me? Inside I was afraid. Angry too. Shamed. And I thought racist thoughts. Everyone were racist that day, the only difference was – I didn’t say it, I thought of it. I’m a racist too. It all happened in a few minutes. I asked myself, where did those thoughts come from? Life. My life. Growing up in Malaysia (the reality is) I was surrounded by racism. My generation is the most racist generation in the history of Malaysia.

I have a friend who refused to eat at Mamak stall because the owners were Indian. Some even dislike going to Chinese shops because the Chinese, they said, are very stingy with food ingredients. The Malays act superior than other races. The indigenous people group was said to be the most proud and stubborn people. Racist. When I was a kid, I don’t know much. Now I know better – I grew up with racism. I carry my emotional baggage with me, and it is terrifyingly easy for me to walk from the light back into the shadow. I need help, God-size help to rescue me from my build-in racism.

Jesus come into my life. He is my God, Lord and Saviour. I come to him first before I confess to you here, Jesus help me from my racism. He saved me from becoming a full-time racist believer. I’m in the process of his discipleship. Not perfect but daily renewed by his grace. In the Scripture, for example John 4:3-9, Jesus interacted with the Samaritan woman (in his culture, the Jews despite Samaritans). Jesus, a rabbi, talked to a woman (in his culture, a rabbi would never ever speak to a Samaritan woman or any other woman in fact, in public). Jesus had a conversation with a sexually loose woman (in his culture, the saints have nothing to do with the sinners). Jesus break the barrier of racism, prejudice and discrimination. Throughout the Scripture Jesus’ attitude and teachings, mind and Spirit helps me to break my walls of racism in me with other races. In Jesus, I’m able to find reconciliation, forgiveness, love and tolerance with one another. In Jesus, I have victory over racism! He is still working in me.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Adversity into Triumph: Coffee into Sweet Smelling Fragrance

A young woman was complaining to her father about how difficult her life had become. He said nothing, but took her to the kitchen and set three pans of water to boiling. To the first pan, he added carrots; to the second, eggs; and to the third, ground coffee. After all three had cooked, he put their contents into separate bowls and asked his daughter to cut into the eggs and carrots and smell the coffee.

“What does this all mean?” she asked impatiently. “Each food,” he said, “teaches us something about facing adversity, as represented by the boiling water.” The carrot went in hard but came out soft and weak. The eggs went in fragile but came out hardened. The coffee, however, changed the water to something better. “Which will you be like as you face life?” he asked. “Will you give up, become hard – or transform adversity into triumph? As the ‘chef’ of your own life, what will you bring to the table?” The questions are very thoughtful.

On adversity, Alice H. Mortenson, wrote a poet:

Sometimes God takes away our props

that we might lean on Him,

allow temptations, so we’ll grow

And triumph over sin.

Sometimes He takes away our strength

for doing earthly things

to rest our bodies that our souls

may soar on eagle’s wings.

Let’s not resent it when He says,

“Come ye apart – Be still”

or chafe at disappointments

that are His sovereign will.

Oh, let’s not doubt or question “Why?”

with unexplained delays,

but keep on soaring ‘neath His wings

with gratitude and praise!

When you face adversity, face with hot boiling water, would you change the water to something better? Would you transform adversity into triumph? God have a purpose in your adversity. Trust Him. Truth Jesus in your adversity. Let the hot boiling water turn coffee into a sweet smelling fragrance!

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.