Angelus' Quote: Fourth Quality of a Leader

I read, at the University of Santa Clare, California, a researcher conducted a study of 15,000 business managers to determine, among other things, what workers value most in a boss.

The survey revealed that employees respect a LEADER who shows competence, has the ability to inspire workers, and is skillful in providing direction.

But there was a fourth quality they admire even more - INTEGRITY. Above all else, workers wanted a manager whose word is good, a manager who is known for his/her honesty, a manager whom they could trust 🐝

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Angelus' Quote: Good Leaders cultivate Honest Speech

Good team leaders never want Yes-men. They need direct and honest communication from their people. But at the same, team members "advisors" need to display respect, too. Leading a team isn't easy (I observe my leaders and myself to know this to be true). It takes hard work. So, communicate directly, honestly and respectfully 😊

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Book Review: Fairness Is Overrated (2015) by Tim Stevens

Fairness Is Overrated:
And 51 Other Leadership Principles To Revolutionize Your Workplace (2015)
by Timothy Alan Stevens a.k.a. Tim Stevens

I'm instantly attracted to books that have the word ‘leadership' as its title. And the simplicity of its wordings and bright orange cover also influenced my choice to buy this book. I do judge a book by its cover and as I read this one, I'm glad I've chosen wisely. The truth is, I sometimes choose poorly (or you can say, unwise). Most leadership and personal development books that I pick up either from libraries or book fairs tend to present their ideas within the first few chapters, then basically recycle, rephrase and repeat throughout the rest of the books. Fairness Is Overrated is unlike most leadership books. It's completely practical on every page, in every situation, for every leader both in business and church settings. I praise this book together with Thom S. Rainer, "[This book] is an incredible leadership book for those in the workplace. Tim's principles are timeless; their application is life-changing. Business leaders, church leaders, all leaders: get this book and devour it immediately!" Agree, agree and amen!

Tim Stevens comes from a church leadership perspective but his 52 principles are applicable anywhere because as long as we are in the workplace – company or organization, church or business, managers or workers – we are all leaders. I love the authenticity of the stories within the book. Tim isn't afraid to share his struggles, failures, and humanity. It's one of those few great books that I read a chapter or two and have to take a small break and come back to it the next day because it's communicated so well. Each chapter has 2-3 questions to think about. So before I proceed to the next chapter, I process through the practical applications (that's why I won't lend this book to you, sorry). I haven't jotted down and highlighted a book this much since I read John C. Maxwell's books!

Tim begins the first chapter with "Live A Life With Margins" and ends with "The Five Stages of Failure." He quoted Mark Batterson that says, "You need margin to think… You need margin to have impromptu conversations. You need margin to seize unanticipated opportunities." Living a life with structured-margins is not only helps all of the other leadership principles discussed in the book but it helps leaders move through the five stages of failure (justifying, questioning, blaming, redefining, leading) faster. The first principle is a foundational principle. The other 51 principles are then organized around four categories of leadership thought: be a leader worth following, find the right people, build a healthy culture and lead confidently through a crisis.

Part One: Be A Leader Worth Following

It all starts here. Tim explains, "Nothing more can be said or should be said about leadership until we deal with the person in the mirror." It's all begins with self-leadership (that's why I have written a series of Self-Leadership in my blog); before we talk about leading the church or a business, we must talk about being a leader worth following. To look at ourselves in the mirror is not for us to look more spiritual but so that we can lead with integrity and strength in a way that is honorable. Leaders need to set appropriate boundaries so that the organization and the people that they lead will not be dragged down by needless accusations or scandals. Tim touches on why leaders need to know themselves, to be lifelong learners, to guard our families, to set boundaries in the workplace, and more.

Part Two: Find the Right People

"The success of leaders will rise and fall based on the decisions they make about the people around them." A working environment will not and cannot be positive without "solid hiring decisions." Our greatest leadership challenge is surrounding ourselves with the right people. It doesn't matter how gifted a leader is; if he doesn't have the right people around him, representing him and pulling with him, his leadership potential will eventually be capped. When Tim was asked, "What is the most important thing you did as an executive pastor?" His answer is simple, "Finding and releasing leaders." Here Tim covers how a resume is worthless, why characters can't be trained, what questions to ask, when to release staff, who should be on the team, and many more.

Part Three: Build A Healthy Culture

"Every leader is developing a culture through everyday decisions, whether intentionally or not. Culture happens. With focus and skill, any organization can have a great culture where people are standing in line to join the team, where team members are energized by the mission, and where it's not just a job – people actually do life together." There is nothing worse than working in an organization that has a bad culture. It doesn't matter how much money we make, in long-term, when we work in a toxic environment, we still come home tense and stressed at the end of each day. To me, that isn't worth it! To build a healthy culture, Tim lay downs more than a dozen principles such as having fun, always believe the best in others, how to deal with mistakes, having leadership retreats, be a good follower and more.

Part Four: Lead Confidently Through A Crisis

Every leader who stays with an organization for very long will eventually face a crisis. It might be one that impacts a small department or it might be big enough that it has a potential to take down the entire organization. It's not about will it come. But when it comes, how will you face it? We can't wait until the crisis comes to think about the essential skills we need to face it. We need to be prepared now. Don't avoid it – lead through it! "It's leading through a crisis that separates great leaders from mediocre leaders." It is leading in tough times that create the greatest leaders. John C. Maxwell said that during tough times, "Leaders stretch to the challenge, while followers shrink from the challenge." Tim equips his readers by listing out principles on how to face change, bad attitudes, character issues, communication skills, etc.

There is a lot to be considered in this book. It is well-written (a bit of a page-turner) and I'm sure to want to go back, again and again, to see how my leadership measure up. Since my copy is filled reflections, notes and answers to discussion questions at the end of every chapter, I won't lend this book to anyone. But if I see any at BookXcess bookstores again, I'll buy it and give it away. I have few new and young leaders in mind that will be greatly helped by Tim's leadership principles. Oh ya, I bought this one from BookXcess for only RM19.90. A wise investment, right?

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Self-Leadership #2 Look the Truth Straight On

“Just be honest with yourself. That opens the door”

(Vernon Howard)

A key building block in the process of self-discovery is your willingness to look at the truth straight on. If you answer one or more of the tough questions mentioned in the first lesson without being fully honest, you gain nothing. Goals built on half-truths are almost certain to fail when push comes to shove. If you can’t act on your convictions in a crunch, then success is out of the question.

A person who is grounded in truth doesn’t have to look very far to find the right thing to do. When you are guided by the truth, you are the same person in private as you are in public. Looked at from the other end of the telescope, you know that what you do in private matters. Any talk of being able to “compartmentalize” your life, so that what you do in private has no bearing on your public life, is a friction. Even madness. Your principles only count if you live them on and off your field.

If you’re still not persuaded, consider this. As a leader, you can’t build a team, organization, or company that’s a whole lot different from yourself – well, who are you? Do you want your organization to have shaky foundations built on dishonest goals? If the answer is no, then make sure these things aren’t part of you, either. The researcher can’t help but influence what he’s observing, and the inventor can’t take himself out of his creation.

Honesty also plays an important role in the interactions between a leader and his organization. Without complete honesty, there can be no trust, and if your people don’t trust you, you can’t lead them. Trust is earned through patient investment and a consistent track record, and it can be destroyed in an instant. As a leader, you will be closely watched, and everything you say will have meaning for your people. Actions that contradict your message – or dishonest messages – will destroy trust and be used as an excuse not to take you seriously.

Here are three (3) things to consider in your search for truth:

Don’t Try to Fake It: People have an unerring nose for dishonesty, fraud, and pretense. To be successful, you must be honest with yourself and others.

Expect to Be Observed: As a leader, you’re being watched 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You can’t build a team that’s different from yourself. So be honest with yourself and with your team.

Don’t Compartmentalize: Your conduct matters at all times. If you compromise your principles in your private life, it may well affect your public life as well.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Timothy, The Helpers Are to Held A High Standard (1 Timothy 3:8)

"Deacons, likewise, are to be men worthy of respect, sincere,
not indulging in much wine, and not pursuing dishonest gain"

(1 Timothy 3:8, NIV)

Deacon means "one who serves." I like to call deacons as "helpers" for the overseer, the same way the Holy Spirit is the Helper (John 14:26, not lower in position and power but different office) for the Lord Jesus Christ. The helpers were first created in Acts 6 when the apostles asked for seven men "who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom" to be selected to provide for "daily distribution of food" to the widows so that the apostles would give their "attention to prayer and the ministry of the word" (read Acts 6:1-7). This is the right kind of church organization! The bishop or elder or the leader is to focus primarily on the study, preaching, and teaching of the Word of God and prayer. Others are to be selected to care and help for mundane (but also important) matters that must be done.

The deacons or helpers are those who would serve in the work of the church and so these standards apply to all of them (1 Timothy 3:8-12). First, the helpers "are to be men worthy of respect" and "sincere" or as The Message puts it more plainly, they are to be "serious, not deceitful." This does not mean a false religiosity and poker-faced, but rather men who are served in all seriousness. Far from serving out of obligations, they ought to be joyful and sincere. And since their responsibilities require them to minister to those in need and therefore often involved in visitation among church members, they must keep their character (not gossipers or rumor-mongers) and attitude (serving rather than bossing) in check. In this way, they are "worthy of respect"!

Like the leader, the helpers must also "not indulge in much wine." Although wine was used as a common drink by the people in the Bible times, this historical truth cannot be used as justification for drinking today. A drunkard church helper is always bringing a bad image for the God that he is serving. In my culture, the Iban-culture, alcohol is the single greatest problem! Although there is no explicit prohibition of drinking wine or some sort of alcoholic drinks in the Bible, it did warn us about drunkenness and "indulging in much wine." To this issue, Paul elsewhere warned believers: "It is better NOT to eat meat [offer to idols] or drink wine or to do anything else that will cause your brother to fall" (Romans 14:21). Unbelievers expect Christians to show good examples.

One of the differences between the leader and the helpers is that the leader gets his financial need mostly from those he serves, the church (see Galatians 6:6) but the helpers are on their own. The helpers (all!) are subject to the same temptation concerning money as the leader – perhaps even more since they will be in the business world from day today. Thus, the helpers are commanded to "not pursue dishonest gain." The helpers also must be above reproach in money matters.

Dear helper, are you up to the standards above?

If yes, well done, good and faithful servant!

If not, ask God to show you in which area you should repent.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Help Child Deal with Divorce #6 Annabel, Helps Your Parents to Understand You

Dear Annabel,

Your mom and dad can get really angry with each other during a divorce. It's pretty normal for them to argue, and it's pretty normal for you to want to stop them. I used to think that way too, I want my parents to stop arguing with one another. But there is one thing that you need to understand: We cannot work things out for them. They need to do it for themselves. Your parents need to resolve their own problems. You have the right to feel sad, to be angry, even cry. After all said and done, at the end of the day, you have to stay calm. And as you already know, it's not always easy to do…

            Your parents are there to help you, but during a divorce, they might be stressed, angry, sad, confused, frustrated and depressed. Their judgment clouded and sometimes they're so caught up in their own issues that they forget about you. Not that they stop loving you, they're just distracted. And you know what Annabel, they might need your help instead. It's perfectly fine to try to help them get through this difficult time. Although you can't possibly make them feel better (you might feeling pretty bad yourself), you can try to empathize. I have reminded your dad that he must be empathizing to you too. To understand you. In the same way, you need to try to understand both of your parents.

            For them to understand you, you need to communicate and to be honest about how you are feeling and let them know in a calm way what you need. Like uncle said, they don't really know how you feel unless you tell them. If they know, they, on the other hand, can help you feel safe and loved. In this way, you help them to understand you.

   See you soon,

Angelus

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus' Leadership #19 Transparent and Visible

Jesus is God’s love made visible: “[the Word] became flesh and dwelt among us” (John 1:14). Jesus spoke out from the mountaintops; he did not mutter in the valleys. He spoke in synagogues, streets, gardens, and at every party he went to. He was not afraid to stand out in the crowd. When the Temple guards, uncertain of which man they were to grab, trying to arrest all the disciples, Jesus stepped forward and said, “I’m the one you’re looking for. Let these others go” (John 18:9). He was willing to be God’s lightning rod.

D. L. Moody was one of the greatest evangelists who ever lived. He drew crowds of tens of thousands of people every time he spoke. Once when someone asked him how he could be such a powerful speaker, he said, “Before I speak I just go out to an open place and say ‘Lord, set me on fire.’”

A light should be set on a hill, not hidden under a bushel. Jesus was not a low-profile person.

He was visible.

How are you visible as a leader?

What are some ways you could increase your visibility?

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus' Success Principle: The Way to Up is Down (Mark 8:31-38)

“[After Peter declares that Jesus is the Messiah, Jesus] then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the Law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter, ‘Get behind me, Satan!’ he said. ‘You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns’”
(Mark 8:31-33, NIV, bracket mine).

Jesus, the Son of God gave up His life in order to save the world. To some, Jesus’ death on the cross looks like an unnecessary surrender, a ‘loser’. But we now realize that without His death and subsequent resurrection we would be “unredeemed” and the daily personal guidance of His Spirit would not be available to us (see John 16:7). That’s why it is necessary for Jesus to take up His cross…

Now, Jesus began to tell His disciples of His coming death. But these men, particularly Peter, refused to hear of it. They have misconceptions and misunderstanding of what the Messiah first came to do. “You’re the Saviour, you’re great,” they were thinking. “You’re going to smash our enemies and we’re all going to ride to glory with you.” They were rightly concerned, but they were wrongly concluded Jesus’ mission. That’s where Jesus had to cut Peter short and introduce one of the most important principles Christians must learn: the way to up is down. In other words, the way to success in God’s plan is not to rely upon our own intelligence or strength to push to the top. That’s the pattern of the Satan-influenced human nature – “Get behind me, Satan!” “…merely human concerns” – smash and grab, look out for yourself first, do unto others before they get a chance to do unto you.

But Jesus said, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me” (Mark 8:34). Roughly translated, that means to set aside the primary goal of pleasing yourself first, to accept willingly the unpleasant or uncomfortable situation that may result from denying yourself, and then leave the outcome to God. That’s Jesus’ pattern for success in the Kingdom of God. I love Jesus’ honestly; it hurts, but it is sweet and necessary. Jesus doesn’t promise any easy way. True discipleship is costly, but worth it. David Hewitt writes, “Jesus is very honest about things; he does not hide the unwelcome demands in small print. Neither does he ask anything of us that he is not prepared to give himself. He has the right to ask us to take up our cross because he has carried his own. The call to follow Jesus is not a call to give up certain things, but to die. In this way, Jesus sifts out the true disciples from those who are merely camp followers.”

On the surface, Peter’s way of success looks like more fun and happier, but remember: after Jesus’ cross came His resurrection. After His resurrection Jesus was more glorious and victorious than before. But it would not have been so without the Crucifixion. If we follow Jesus through the Crucifixion (deny self, take up the cross) we are also privileged to “follow” Him in the glory of Resurrection. In the early Book of Acts, Peter eventually experienced Jesus’ style of success. After received the power of the resurrected Christ, Peter committed to deny self, take up his cross and follow Jesus wholeheartedly. According to tradition, Peter was crucified upside-down for his faith.

“For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me and for the gospel will save it. What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?” (Mark 8:35-37). Jesus challenges our values. Do we want to follow Him or not? If we cling on to life selfishly, worry too much on our rights and privileges, we lose out in the end. That kind of life is not worth having. It is foolish to sacrifice eternity for a moment. Jim Elliot, a Christian martyr, says, “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.” Think about it.

“If anyone is ashamed of me and my words… the Son of Man will be ashamed of them

when he comes in his Father’s glory with the holy angels” (Mark 8:38).

Have you been ashamed to identify with a ‘loser’?

When Jesus returns, who will be the loser?

Take your stand for Jesus now – deny yourself, take up the cross and follow me.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus doesn't Wants Us to Hide Behind Masks of Religious Piety (Mark 8:14-21)

“The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. ‘Be careful,’ Jesus warned them. ‘Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod.’ They discussed this with one another and said, ‘It is because we have no bread.’ Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: ‘Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? …He said to them, ‘Do you still not understand?’”

(Mark 8:14-18, 21, NIV).

Have pity on Jesus’ disciples. They are like us sometimes. They misunderstood Jesus’ teaching altogether. When Jesus said, “Be careful. Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod,” their minds are still taken up with everyday physical matters like food, but Jesus was talking about spiritual matters. They could’ve ask Jesus further about what He meant, but instead they discussed the fact that they hadn’t brought enough bread to eat on their trip! But Jesus was warning them against something much more serious than forgetting their picnic basket. Luke, another Gospel writer, gave a more complete account of Jesus’ statement when He said, “Be on your guard against the yeast of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy” (Luke 12:1). Matthew on the other hand, write that Jesus was talking about “the teaching of the Pharisees and Sadducees” (Matthew 16:12). So, Jesus was talking about their hypocrisy in conducts and teachings! [Note: Many “that of Herod” or Herodians were also Sadducees]

From my reading of the Scriptures, Jesus hate extremely these two things: unbelieve and hypocrisy. What is hypocrisy? Simply stated, it is pretending to be something or someone you’re not – putting up a front in order to conceal your true identity. The Greek word actually means, “playacting,” originally referred to the Greek dramatists who were famous for their masks (they act using masks). By the time of Jesus, the Pharisees were such accomplished hypocrites that they could have won Malaysia’s Anugerah Drama Festival! Remember what Jesus’ statement about them? “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me” (Mark 7:6). They concentrated on appearing righteous and religious in front of people, but it was only playacting. They were really far from God in their hearts.

Jesus compared hypocrisy to “yeast” or leaven. Why? Because when yeast is added to bread dough, it causes the bread to rise beyond its normal size. Thus, if you study a slice of bread, you’ll find that it is full of holes and empty inside. In the same way, like hypocrisy, even though they appear full and perfect looking on the outside, but in the inside it is full of holes and lots of empty spaces. Jesus had stronger words for the Pharisees and their hypocrisy than any other human condition. Because of their hypocrisy, they become unbelieve to what is obviously true, namely, Jesus’ divinity shows through His miracle (Mark 8:1-13).

If God does not want His people hiding behind masks of religious piety, then, what does He want? Let me suggest, how about being transparent. A transparent Christian is one who is completely honest about him or herself to others and especially to God. People can see right through them – they are not wearing any hypocritical masks. They not trying to act out a role which is different from what they really are. When they are fine, they are fine. But when they sinned against God or against others, they are ready to say, “Forgive me, I’ve done you wrongly” (See how a hypocrite and a transparent-person respond to their sin in Luke 18:9-14). Being transparent is important for Christians. We all blow it on occasion – angry words, hateful deeds, failure and sin. The key to recovery in such situations is not hypocrisy such as think positive thoughts, positive confessions, etc. Don’t pretending! Admitting to God and to your Christian brothers and sisters that you are less than perfect and that you are in need of forgiveness and restoration.

Being a transparent person isn’t easy. That’s for sure. Jesus was the most transparent person who ever walked the earth and He was treated rather badly for it. But it’s the kind of life-style God is looking for in His people. For some of you that might mean humiliation as you apologize to a group of friends for show-off hypocritically and judgmental attitude. Or it might mean embarrassment as you confess to your pastor or friends in the church that you’re still struggle with some particular sins and in need of prayers. Don’t be too concern with what people think of you, what God think about you is all that matter eternally. Be transparent. Don’t “play the role” but “live it like it is.” If you’re transparent and be honest to God, He can do something great in you. Do you understand now?

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus Shows How Practical Our Faith Is: Living in the Light (1 John 1:6-7)

“So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin”
(1 John 1:6-7, NLT).

God’s light (1 John 1:5) has a special purpose. It is not a light that going to kill us. Instead, it is life-giving, nourishing, helpful light. The Apostle Paul reminds us: “For God, who said, ‘Let there be light in the darkness,’ has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ” (2 Corinthians 4:6). Notice that throughout John’s first letter, he speaks out against three false claims of the false teachers (verse 1:6, 8, 10). Each begins with, “If we claim/say…” Then there is a contradiction, followed by a true statement.

In verse 6, John says, “We are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth.” In other words, John is speaking against the heresy that the way we live doesn’t really matter. The way we live does matter! From the beginning of history, we are reminded that faith (what we firmly believe) and life (how we live as Christians) should reflect each other. To live in fellowship with God commits us to a life of reflecting God’s goodness. Not only are we to learn and understand the truth [in which I always promote Christian students to have good Biblical-theological thinking], but we must also do the truth. To talk about God and His goodness without really living that way is to become a hypocrite (see James 2:14-17).

Notice here how practical our faith is: God’s light not only helps us see but shows us how and where to walk. Christianity is an action-type faith. It is more than mere talk or an abstract philosophy; it helps us move toward what is right and true. And our faith also helps us grow together as the Body of Christ. Notice Bible verses about, John telling us that our fellowship (sharing, being close, enjoying being together, and so on), will grow as we walk in God’s light. Truth should lead to closeness and harmony, not misunderstanding or rivalry, or separation. To walk in the light, then, is to be open, honest, and sincere, to hide nothing, and to be real and not phony. This means being open and caring with other people as well as with God; caring about and listening to them as well as being concerned about ourselves.

To me, a good example of phoniness is the person who pretends to care. Such a person may show an initial interest in you and say, “Hi, how are you? We should hang out together next time,” but never does; or promises, “I’ll pray for you,” and doesn’t follow through. Christians are learning to be “real” people – to say what they mean and mean what they say; to become more loving and caring. Another result of walking or “living in the light” is that our sins are taken away. “The blood of Jesus… cleanses us from all sin.” The word “cleanses” means “steadily purified”; it is not something that happened only once but continues to happen every moment of every day. Therefore, living in the Light of God. Amen.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Letters to Annie: Keep Your Heart Pure

Dear Annie,

            Remember you said you love a man who love God more that he can’t look elsewhere but God thus remain faithful to you? To tell you the truth, I feel the pressure. Ha2 But then it is a good and godly pressure because I tend to love you more than God himself, and that is not just the ultimate sin against God but I believe that it is the cause of unfaithfulness in any relationships. For the reminder, I thank you. I honestly appreciate it. I love you more today.

            Annie, I also want to remind you (and myself) about this: You’re near and dear to God. He loves you more than you can imagine, and He wants the very best for you. And one more thing: God wants you to guard your heart. I read in Titus 1:15 that “Everything is pure to those whose hearts are pure. But nothing is pure to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, because their minds and consciences are defiled.” It is not enough to keep our minds and bodies pure but our hearts also. Luci Swindoll writes, “Those whose hearts are pure are the temples of the Holy Spirit.”

            Keep your heart pure. Every day we’re faced with choices… lots of them. You can do the right thing, or not. You can tell the truth, or not. You can be kind and generous and obedient, or not. “Spiritual truth is discernible only to a pure heart, not to a keen intellect,” reminds Oswald Chambers, “It is not a question of profundity of intellect, but of purity of heart.” As you know very well Annie, the world today offer us countless opportunities to let down our guard and, by doing so, let the devil do his dirty works. Be watchful and obedient to God. I think the best way to guard your heart is by giving it to your Heavenly Father – it is safe with Him. Amen.

Annie, accept God’s love, and love God in return.

God loves you for who you are, not because of the things you’ve done.

Even though mine is not equal to God’s everlasting love…

In my humanity, I love you very much.

I miss to hear your voice,

Richard

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus ask One Question, We May Have Many Responses, Only One is the Truth

“When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, ‘Who do people say that the Son of Man is?’ ‘Well,’ they replied, ‘some say John the Baptist, some say Elijah, and others say Jeremiah or one of the other prophets.’ Then he asked them, ‘But who do you say I am?’” (Matthew 16:13-15, NLT).

I have a reasonable mind, so when I read this passage I quickly move to examine what the disciples said in answer to Jesus rather than stop and listen to the question for myself. Like many good Bible-study Christians, we are tempted to keep a safe distance; we would rather Jesus ask someone else his question. Our natural attitude is like that, we want to avoid eye-penetrating preaching and we don’t want to read certain portions of God’s Word because it’s hard like a heart-surgery – so we reflect all of these hard questions and sayings to others (or we change subject).

But when we realise we must answer this question – “Who do you say I am?” – we immediately face at least three different responses. The first, like my examples above, is evasive (mengelak). We avoid the question by begging ignorance (I don’t know) or uncertainty (I’m not sure yet), or even deflection (Ask someone else, please). We have avoided the question but the question still remain, and it haunting us, “Who do you say I am?”

The second answer is the safe answer. We take a quick observation of the surrounding opinions. What is everyone else saying? What the majority belief? Our response is calculated to match what most people say. The answer may be very positive (great teacher, wise man, miracle-worker, good prophet, or even Lord) or negative (liar, lunatic, legend). We haven’t actually given our answer – we’ve tried to give the popular answer. But that wasn’t the point of the question, was it?

The third answer is the truth. This answer may actually involve some of the same responses we just looked at, but instead of running around the bush to not answer the question, our answer comes from integrity. (I find that most Muslims in Malaysia are easily make believe by their ustaz and ustazah that Jesus of the Bible is not the Son of God or did not claim himself to be divine. Even though I’m sad but I’m still okay if they make that conclusion after reading the Bible themselves. But they are either not allow to read it or given the impression that it is falsified. How to come to the knowledge of the truth?). Perhaps we really don’t know. Or we have honestly assumed that Jesus’ fame must be because he was either a great teacher or an effective con man. Or we just need some more proves. God can work with a truthful and honest response, I believe.

Think about this: When Jesus asks us who we say that he is, he is not just asking so that we will answer him. He is also asking about how we are sharing the news about him with others. If Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of the living God, then this is the good news, the greatest of all news! The question assumes we’re telling. This question “Who do you say I am?” is not only asking for mere responses but actions. If we aren’t letting anyone know that we know him, maybe we don’t. 

What is your truthful, personal answer to Jesus’ question:

Who do you say Jesus is?

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Letters to Annie: Lasting Relationships are Built Upon Trust and Honesty

Dear Annie,

            It will always be you. I can’t imagine what my life will be if there is no you. When you said you love me, I trust you. I trust you to be faithful because you also want me to be faithful to you too and I want nothing else, except for you to be happy. I read in the book of Zechariah 8:16, “These are the things you must do: Speak truth to one another; render honest and peaceful judgements in your gates.” God is the God of truth, and to trust is to tell the truth. Let us be transparent to one another.

            From my observations and personal failures, I learned that lasting relationships are built upon honesty and trust. Without trust, people soon drift apart. But with trust, relationships grow and flourish (But envy, jealousy and unwarranted suspicious are trio-evils in relationships). Even though we’re not married yet, I like what Ed Young recommends to young couples in his book, “Trust is like ‘money in the bank’ in a marriage. There must be a reasonable amount of it on deposit to ensure the security of a marital union.” As Christians, by God’s grace we should always be trustworthy, encouraging and loyal. “The single most important element in any human relationship,” writes Catherine Marshall, “is honesty – with oneself, with God, and with others.” We should be thankful for the people who are loyal to us. I’m very thankful for you.

            I asked myself, Do I want Annie to trust me? and Do I want my friends to trust me? Yes, yes for both. Then I thought, if I want people to trust me, I should first be a friend that they can trust. We first become who we want people to be and to treat us. We don’t demand trust. We grow it, we give it away – we earn it. If we ever having an issue of trust in the future, let’s take Charles Swindoll advice: “Whatever you do when conflicts arise, be wise. Fight against jumping to quick conclusions and seeing only your side. There are always two sides on the streets of conflict. Look both ways.”

 I want to build a firm foundation of trust with you – no shaky foundations. A foundation of meaningful relationships. If we want our relationship to last, trust God, be honest and trustworthy. But then again, let’s not too focus on ourselves. God is our greatest priority, without Him we are nothing. Psalms 20:7 says, “Some trust in chariots, and some in horses [some in human relationships]: but we will remember the name of the LORD our God” (Bracket mine).

God be honour and gloried in us.

I call you tonight.

I miss you.

Your faithful,

Richard

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus on Prayer: Don't Babble, Just Talk Honestly, Come Boldly and Open Your Heart

“When you pray, don’t babble on and on as people of other religions do. They think their prayers are answered merely by repeating their words again and again. Don’t be like them, for your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him!”

(Matthew 6:7-8, NLT).

After discussing hypocrisy (refer to Matthew 6:5-6), Jesus next pointed to the practise of “other religions” and highlighted another truth about prayer. To “babble on and on” is to repeat the same words over and over, like a magic incantation. Many pagan worshipers believed that saying certain words and phrases and repeating them often would help them get through to their gods.

Jesus wasn’t belittling prayer or even the idea of being persistent in prayer, something that he would later encourage his disciples to do (Luke 18:1-8). And the prayer that Jesus taught his disciples has been repeated by church congregations and individual believers for twenty centuries. Instead, Jesus condemned the shallow repetition of words by those who don’t have a personal relationship with God and who are not thinking about what they are saying. Prayer isn’t magic, like waving a wand and saying “Abracadabra,” and God doesn’t offer secret formulas for us to use. Prayer is communication, one person talking to another. As this passage shows us, God is more interested in our hearts (our focus and motives) than our words. He wants us to approach him with openness, honesty, and sincerity, engaging our minds and emotions.

Think about this: Believers should come to God as to their loving Father, sincerely bringing specific needs. This statement that “the Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him” doesn’t excuse believers from praying; it’s just that we don’t have to spend a long time reciting our needs. God doesn’t need our prayers, but he wants our prayers and knows that we need them. God knows you inside-out: thoughts, feelings, relationships, conflicts, dreams, anxieties, hopes, and needs. As your loving Father, he cares about you, his child. And as his child, you can approach your Father at anytime and anywhere, coming boldly into his presence (Hebrews 4:16). Open your heart to him. Amen.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Judas Was a Preacher

This quote is taken from Ray Comfort’s Spurgeon Gold (Bridge-Logos: Alachua, Florida, 2005. Page 10-11). Late Charles H. Spurgeon writes,

“Judas was preacher; nay, he was a foremost preacher. ‘He obtained part of this ministry,’ said the Apostle Peter. He was not simply one of the seventy; he had been selected by the Lord Himself as one of the twelve; and honourable member of the college of the apostles. Doubtless, he had preached the gospel so that many had been gladdened by his voice, and miraculous powers had been vouchsafed to him, so that at his word, the sick had been healed, deaf ears had been opened, and the blind had been made to see. Nay, there is no doubt that he, who could not keep the devil out of himself, had cast devils out of others. Yet how are you fallen from Heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning!

He that was as a prophet in the midst of the people, and speak with the tongue of the learned, whose word and wonders proved that he had been with Jesus and had learned from him – he betrays his Master. Understand, my brethren, that no gifts can ensure grace, and that no position of honour or usefulness in the Church will necessarily prove our being true to our Lord and Master. Doubtless, there are bishops in Hell, and crowds of those who once occupied the pulpits are now condemned forever to bewail their hypocrisy. You that are Church-officers do not conclude that because you enjoy the confidence of the Church, therefore there is an absolute certainty the grace of God in you.

Perhaps it is the most dangerous of all positions for a man to become well known and much respected by religious world, and yet to be rotten to the core. To be where others can observe our faults is a healthy thing, though painful; but to live with beloved friends who would not believe it possible for us to do wrong, and who, if they saw us err, would make excuses for us – this is to be where it is next to impossible for us ever to be aroused if our hearts be not right with God. To have a fair reputation and a false heart is to stand upon the brink of Hell.”

This is scary, yet it is the truth. Amen.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Be Yourself

“The Son of Man …a friend of tax collectors and sinners” (Matthew 11:19, NIV)

I’m not that popular. But I have known a few people who have tried hard to be my friend. But the more they tried, the more I’ve run away. Why? Because authentic friendships are based on freedom rather than ‘forcing.’ I’m sure you have met people like this. Their over-eager and over-do always suffocated us before the friendship even begin. You and I, too, have the tendency to try hard to ‘force’ ourselves when we try to make friend with others.

If you are in need of friends – be yourself. I mean, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It is worthy to ask why Jesus was a good friend. What is clear when I read the Gospels story is that Jesus was always Himself. It is impossible to think of a meeting where Jesus puts on some sort of pretentious act to impress people. Jesus didn’t find His value in other people; He didn’t need people’s approval or appreciation. His security was always rooted in the fact that His Father loved Him. He didn’t get this from friends, but from time alone with God. Therefore, He being friend with others not to get something from them but because He being Himself always (Note: By being Himself, Jesus was not only winning many friends but also make enemies because hypocrites hate authentic friendships).

To be ourselves is the stepping-stone to all friendships. People generally will try to avoid those who a lack in security, too talkative and too withdrawn. Now that we’re Christians, we must remember that God’s favour is with us and nothing else can stand against us – not even people’s reactions to us. Just be yourself in Christ. Everyone needs friends. Everyone needs good friends. Everyone appreciate when you being yourself.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Practice Authentic Facebooking

I quote this from Jesse Rice’s The Church on Facebook,

“Because Facebook is an environment that typically rewards the most clever or the most willing to risk self-revelation, we can sometimes exaggerate or downplay certain things about ourselves to get a response. Likewise, we can be tempted to ‘overshare’ ourselves with others in order to get and/or keep their attention. Obviously, most of this is good fun. We can certainly take ourselves too seriously, even in such a playful environment, and that would not help any of us.

But many of our relationships are starving for a lack of authentic interaction. One quick way we can practice ‘authentic Facebooking’: Take a look at your profile – the picture you’ve posted, the information you’ve shared. Does the content reflect your God-given nature? Is it ‘true’ to who you really are? If you’re funny, be funny. If you’re artistic, be artistic. If you’re neither, just be you. This can be applied to your interaction with others, too, whether in a wall-post, a message, or a status update. Are you being ‘you’ in the way you interact with your Facebook friends?”

[Jesse Rice, The Church of Facebook (Colorado Spring: David C. Cook, 2009) pg. 213-214]

The Question is:

Are you being ‘you’ in the way you interact with your Facebook friends?

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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