How To Become A People Magnet: 62 Life-Changing Tips To Attract Everyone You Meet (2019) by Marc Reklau, Book Review

 How To Become A People Magnet: 62 Life-Changing Tips To Attract Everyone You Meet (2019) by Marc Reklau

Bad news: I've not become a people magnet after I finished reading it. Good news: This book reminds me to at least try to increase my magnet-ism or be a less annoying person (or don't make it worse! It is hard to be one if one of my heroes of faith is John the Baptist). Hey, these are "tips" not a book of spells, and reading alone will not make any difference in anyone's social lives if not practiced. It is application, not knowledge, that transforms people. For sure, salespeople need to read this book! But it is also good for anyone who wants to improve their social skills and relationships. The author writes, "The most successful people are usually the ones who best get along with people. (Of course, there are always exceptions to the rule). Science tells us that the number one predictor of success and lasting happiness is our social relationships. People with a strong social network even live longer!"

I've observed how tactless young people are today when they try to communicate with others. I've seen how insensitive people are when interacting with those who are younger than them. I've witnessed many awkward communications between students and coworkers. Some people say technologies and gadgets are the enemy, but it's not entirely true. I think it's our personal belief that says (at its core), "People are not important; I am!" Ryan Holiday's book title summed it up well: "Ego is the enemy.” Even if egoistic people seem interested in building relationships, their main goal is not to serve but to use others, not to build but to manipulate others. Thus, these tips can be used for both good and evil, but as the Scripture says, "There is nothing concealed that it will not be revealed, nor so hidden that it will not be made known."

This short book is divided into seven (7) parts. Some tips are very common sense ("Be friendly"), too positive ("Don't criticize"), and probably not suitable for certain types of people ("Praise and praise a lot!"). Most tips are good reminders ("Listen to people actively"), practical ("How to make a good impression"), and humbling ("Talk about your own mistakes first"). There are a few tips that I know I need to practice, but I just can't imagine myself doing them. My excuse is my personality, but in high probability, it's my ego. Lord, help me, a sinner. By the way, on a related topic, I want to recommend these books:

• Winning With People and 25 Ways to Win With People by John C. Maxwell

• How To Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie

• The Rules of People by Richard Templar

• The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Greene

 #ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #HowToBecomeAPeopleMagnet #MarcReklau #PeopleSkills #Relationships #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read my other book reviews/summaries, CLICK HERE

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Increase Your Personal Intellectual Capital #LeadersAreReaders October 2022

When I was working in management, I use to read monthly articles by the late Peter F. Drucker (1909-2005) in the business magazine. My workplace was near the bookstore. At the age of 90, he was more active than most 25-year-olds. As a consultant and an author known as 'the father of management thinking,' he was continually working on new books, most of which became bestsellers. Yet, midst his massive accomplishment, he still found time to read three to five hours a day on a wide range of subjects - a habit he first cultivated as a young man. Like Charles H. Spurgeon, one of my heroes of faith, you just have to admire them but don't need to emulate them.

"Every few years I pick another major topic and read in it daily for three years," Drucker once said candidly. "It's not enough to make me an expert, but it's long enough to understand what the field is all about. I've done this for 60 years." When I enter the full-time ministry, I somewhat learned this strategy from Drucker (and Spurgeon): read widely, from many different fields NOT just Christian books. Drucker is the epitome of the 'knowledge worker,' a term he coined to describe the most valuable resource in the new economy - intellectual capital. "Your knowledge and your experience are your new wealth. They belong to you, not your company. Leave an organization and you take that wealth with you."

Learning how to learn and increase your intellectual capital with practical skills. Be valuable. One of the best ways (meaning, not the only way) to do this is by READING BOOKS and/or through good literature. It takes curiosity and also discipline. In the Information and Digital Age, like the late Peter Drucker, the discipline of reading will be well rewarded. Wherever you go, you take that wealth with you.

#ServeToLead #PeterFDrucker #LifeTimeLearner #ReadersAreReaders #IntellectualCapital #KnowledgeIsWealth #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read other articles on reading and book reviews, CLICK HERE
All things media: https://linktr.ee/LEGASI.tv 

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Read Books and Beat the Goldfish! #LeadersAreReaders February 2022

Currently, I’m rereading Chris Bailey’s Hyperfocus (2018). When I went to MPH Bookstore the other day, I saw a new book that interest me by Johann Hari entitled Stolen Focus (2022). But the price is so expensive, RM89.90! I understand the book business is having a hard time nowadays and in the same way, owning physical books and encouraging people to be readers is getting hard too (state libraries and discount bookstores like BookXcess are saviors for bibliophiles). Not that I cannot afford to buy the book but as I browse through the contents - besides having newer research and the author’s unique perspectives - I realize that the challenge of managing attention and focus today is the same as yesterday. No new book can claim that this is a new phenomenon. Thus, I reread Hyperfocus and settle with just listening and watching interviews of Johann Hari online… hoping that soon the State Library will have it available. Lord, have mercy.

“Reading a book requires a good deal of attention,” writes Chris Bailey, “and with attention becoming a rare commodity, fewer people can devote themselves to reading without distraction.” Attention is our most limited and constrained resource. According to Microsoft Attention Spans Research Report*, the average human attention span in 2000 is 12 seconds and in 2013, it decreased drastically to 8 seconds (I don’t know how they measure this, but the goldfish have an average attention span of 9 seconds. 1 second longer than the average human!). In today’s fast-paced world of information overload, we’re constantly flooded with social media notifications, text messages, and games. Smartphone users, like you and me, check our devices about 80 to 90 times a day. No wonder we are so distracted. This is one of the reasons for the decline of book-reading culture in Malaysia and the world in general.  We still read but read bits and pieces of information. We have amassed lots of random information but lack actual knowledge, depth, and wisdom. This is not just affecting the overall quality of our work-life (or study-life, if you’re a student) but also the state of our mental health and spirituality.

Therefore, you must cultivate a love for reading books. It helps to train you (or force you, at the beginning) to increase your attention spans. It requires attention and it improves your attention. Jessalyn Lau, from the neuroscience perspective, says: “Reading has been proven to increase your focus, attention span, concentration, and to improve memory.” Perhaps you say you don’t have time to read books. I get what you mean. You have works to do, family to care for, products to promote, etc. But “no time” is a myth. Unless you move at the speed of light and the theory of special relativity applied to you, we all have the same amount of time. It's not about you don’t have time but it's about you MAKE time. We have no problem carving out time for things we want to do. So, take or buy a book that interest you, set an uninterrupted time (10 to 15 minutes for a start) today, turn off or switch your smartphone to silent mode and put it away from your reach, make a cup of hot coffee or tea or chocolate and start reading! Start small but do it frequently. At first, you will still be easily distracted. However, over time it will become a habit. And soon, you will be proud of yourself because you have beat the goldfish attention span record! Congratulation!

*https://www.scribd.com/document/265348695/Microsoft-Attention-Spans-Research-Report  

#ServeToLead #Hyperfocus #AttentionSpans #BeatTheGoldfish #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read my book reviews of #LeadersAreReaders FEBRUARY 2022, CLICK LINKS below:

1) On the Future: Prospects for Humanity (2018) by Martin Rees https://bit.ly/OnTheFuture

2) The Gift of Reading (2016) by Robert Macfarlane https://bit.ly/MacfarlaneReading 

3) 25 Ways to Win With People (2005) by John C. Maxwell https://bit.ly/25WaysPeople 

4) The Previous book reviews https://bit.ly/1Book1Week 

 

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/                             
Podcast: http://bit.ly/LegasiSpotify                            
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LEGASItv/                        

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

25 Ways to Win with People (2005) by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott, Book Review

 25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks (2005)
by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott

I believe in God’s calling in my life. As I reflect, it is impossible for me in the past to have worked in the people business and enjoy it (previously I was working in the cinema management team) and then enter into the people-centered ministry that I’m passionately doing now. Personality-wise, I’m not a people person. I was proud, selfish, and headstrong. But only by the love and grace of God, He slowly shapes my character and continues to teach - and often discipline - me to love others. When God calls, we must respond, then He will equip us. Having said that, loving people is not automatic (in my case, I need a miracle!) but it requires humility, perspective, and practice. But the question is WHY? Why it is important to love people? As Christ-followers, this should be obvious. Look at Christ’s examples and read Christ’s words. But generally speaking, we live with each other, we work with each other, we are dependent on each other, and we always meet each other. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Even Superman needs Louis! As John Andrew Holmes puts it: “It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.”

So, since we cannot avoid people, we might as well learn to love people. And when you try, you will eventually genuinely love them (Yes, some people require more grace from our part. Actually, vice versa). I brought this book back in 2010 because I saw the need for me to learn to develop relationships with my boss, colleagues, and staff to win their hearts. Besides, in the cinema business, I have to deal with many types of clients and customers. I was young and inexperienced but hungry enough to learn from my mistakes and try new things. This book together with John’s larger book Winning with People (2004) and Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) have been a great help for me. 12 years later, as I read through this book again, I’m amazed by how relevant, important, and simply profound these twenty-five ways are to win with people. There are lots of good stories and I particularly love the “On Bringing It Home” section in every chapter designed to help the readers to put each way/lesson into action. There are lines, highlights, juicy quotes, and personal notes in my copy that bring back good memories.

Ps: One concern that I have with this kind of book is that: we must draw the line (no matter how thin the line is) between influencing and manipulating people. Use it wisely and ethically.

Truth be told, I have become slightly better in my relationships with people. Slowly yet hopeful. Some of these lessons have turned into habits; some I still have to practice; some are a bit more challenging - stubborn! - to implement. When I observe myself, people around me, and how people interact in social media and technologies like Zoom, Skype, Google Meet, etc. it reminds me that all the more we have to learn to connect with people effectively as humans, improve our interpersonal skills, breathe encouragements, be genuinely interested with others online and offline, and make the most of every opportunity to “keep winning by helping others win” said John Maxwell. I may forget my own advice or lessons that I learned from this book and realistically cannot win every people I encounter, but Lord, I pray, for me and you, to make a difference at least to one person even with a simple gesture of kindness that we meet TODAY. May he or she says, “I have become better for having known you.”

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #GrowingLeaders #WinningWithPeople #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read my other book reviews by John C. Maxwell, CLICK HERE

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/                         
Podcast: http://bit.ly/LegasiSpotify                         
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LEGASItv/                     

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

The Wisdom of Psychopaths (2012) by Kevin Dutton, A Short Review

The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies,
and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success (2012)
by Kevin Dutton, Audiobook

I had just finished listening to this audiobook last week. I'm not sure whether I want to write a proper summary review about it or not. Probably a short one. First, although I'm able to comprehend the big picture of an audiobook (especially on the subjects that are very interesting to me) through listening, I cannot recall the specific juicy quotes or thought-provoking lines unless I have the actual book or ebook to refer to. So, sorry in advance. Secondly, overall this book is stimulating enough (I love psychology!) but the title and subtitle can be misunderstood by those who will never read it. Let me explain.

The word Psychopath in general is negative. The dictionary defines it as a person suffering from a chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior. Mad and bad. Then add the word wisdom to it can be very confusing and oxymoron. Plus, "what serial killers can teach us about success" is not helpful either. But once you explore what Kevin Button writes in the book - stories, interviews, theories, research, data - you will start to get why small and control doses of 'good' psychopathic traits as psychologists define it like charming personalities, no fear of failure or risk, cold empathy, hyperfocus, somewhat intelligent and smart (now I'm thinking of my favorite fictional villain, James Moriarty), etc. are useful for us to strive in the world today. At the right place, time and amount, these traits can be very helpful without harming others as some psychopaths do. I remember Kevin Button said that some of the top career choices for 'functional psychopaths' are politicians, entrepreneurs, police, journalist, and even clergy!

Although in general, I enjoy this book, I also have some strong disagreements and dislikes about the author's theories and conclusions. It seems like, without ethical considerations (and clinical help?), someone might use this book as approval for their harmful psychopathic behaviors. From "wisdom" to "destruction." Success at all costs can prove to be a folly determination and serial killers are your worst teachers! Read or listen with care 😉🔍💬 #ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read my other #1Book1Week book reviews, CLICK HERE

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/                                    
Podcast: http://bit.ly/LegasiSpotify                     
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/LEGASItv/                 

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Do You Have a Reading Mentor? #1Book1Week November 2020

 

Do you have mentors? I hope you do. If you can, find one mentor for each skill that you want to develop. As for me, I want to develop in these areas: leadership, evangelism, attitude, and developing others (L.E.A.D.). As for evangelism, the late Charles H. Spurgeon is one of my distant (long death) mentors. I've read a dozen of his biographies and books. All in my library at home. I wish I can meet him in person and learn by observing his life. But he is the man of the past born in British in 1834 and died in 1892. His passion for winning souls is very contagious. His sermons are powerful and God-centred. Another thing that I admire about Spurgeon is his love for books. I want to emulate his reading habit but I'm far from his genius, concentration, and comprehension power.

From an early age, Spurgeon was a reader — and gradually became a ferocious reader, usually reading 6 books per week (that's #6Books1Week) even amid a busy schedule of sermon preparations (usually he preached 4-10 sermons a week), writing books and editing the monthly magazine. By the end of his life, he amassed a library of over 7,000 books. No doubt this reading habit played a major part in moulding his mind to powerfully unpack biblical truth with the clarity and imagination he is known for. The Prince of Preachers advises: "Give yourself unto reading. The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains proves that he has no brains of his own. You need to read [books]." Yes sir! Of course, he read mostly heavy theological books (just admire his God-given brain, don't need to compare) but he also read many 'secular' books.

If you know Spurgeon, my goal to read #1Book1Week is nothing in comparison. And that is good 😆 If I'm ahead, he will never be my mentor 🤭 To read my sort-of review for these books 👇 CLICK THE LINKS:

#1 Bribery and Corruption:Biblical Reflections and Case Studies for the Marketplace in Asia (2018) by Bishop Hwa Yung

#2 The 5 Essential PeopleSkills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (2004) by Dale Carnegie

#3 The Holiness of God (1984) by R.C. Sproul

#4 The Leader’s Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders (2020) by John C. Maxwell

#LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #LeadersAreReaders #CharlesHSpurgeon

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/              
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/LEGASI.tv/           
YouTube: http://bit.ly/LEGASItv

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Five (5) Rules of Relationships (#GrowingLeader)

Relationships help us define who we are and what we can become. In the area of leadership, relationships are crucial. In fact, John C. Maxwell, who taught me to be R.E.A.L. (Relationship, Equipping, Attitude, Leadership), says, "Relationships are the foundation of leadership." I don't know about you, but I'm naturally not a people person. So these five (5) rules help me a lot:

1) GET ALONG WITH YOURSELF - The one relationship you will have until you die is with yourself. Treat yourself with the respect and love you deserve.

2) VALUE PEOPLE - You cannot make another person feel important if you secretly feel that he or she is a nobody. Recognize that everyone has innate value and treat them accordingly.

3) MAKE THE EFFORT TO FORM RELATIONSHIPS - The result of a person who has never served others? Loneliness (I always see this in WhatsApp statuses). Be proactive! Make the effort. Reach out.

4) UNDERSTAND THE RECIPROCITY RULE - What you put into the lives of others comes back into your own. That's why I love to inspire you through LEGASI.tv. Your growth is my joy.

5) FOLLOW THE GOLDEN RULE - Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (but take considerations of people's real needs, contexts, and personalities).

I'm still learning. What is your best rule/principle/technique? 😊⚡✔ #ServeToLead #RelationshipLeadership #GrowingLeader

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/             
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/LEGASI.tv/          
YouTube: http://bit.ly/LEGASItv

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

Praise In Public, Correct In Private (#GrowingLeader)

 

We have all been in the presence of someone who is being corrected in public in a humiliating way. It's embarrassing! Of course, there are times to correct ideas or challenging decisions during meetings, for example. But attacking the person in front of others doesn't solve the problem. There is a better way... 🧐🚫💆‍♀️ #ServeToLead #GrowingLeader

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/             
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/LEGASI.tv/          
YouTube: http://bit.ly/LEGASItv

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

The 5 Essential People Skills, (2004) by Dale Carnegie, Sort-of-Book Review

The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, 

and Resolve Conflicts (2004) by Dale Carnegie

I've read How to Win Friends and Influence People and The Leader In You (to read my review, CLICK HERE) and so this is a refreshing and reminding course for me. Naturally, I'm not a people person. It's not that I don't love people, but people can be troublesome. In the past, I have no problem using people and influence them for my benefit but intentionally want to help and develop people? That one requires continuous learning, practicing, and humility. This book - and others like John C. Maxwell’s Winning with People - have helped me a lot  As I enter the workplace and serve in the ministry, people skill is even more important. Dale asserts, "No matter what your line of work, even if it's in one of the technical professions, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people."

The five (5) Essential People Skills are:

#1 Rapport Building
#2 Curiosity
#3 Communication
#4 Ambition
#5 Conflict Resolution

I want to summarize each skill but after some thought, it is better if you learn it for yourself. I suggest you don’t need to read the book, just listen to the audiobook. You can get so much value from just listening. Go to YouTube for the audiobook (for personal use only), CLICK HERE.

#ServeToLead #1Book1Week #LeadersAreReaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #PeopleSkills #DaleCarnegie

FB Page: https://facebook.com/LEGASI.tv/            
Podcast: https://anchor.fm/LEGASI.tv/         
YouTube: http://bit.ly/LEGASItv

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.