25 Ways to Win with People (2005) by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott, Book Review

 25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks (2005)
by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott

I believe in God’s calling in my life. As I reflect, it is impossible for me in the past to have worked in the people business and enjoy it (previously I was working in the cinema management team) and then enter into the people-centered ministry that I’m passionately doing now. Personality-wise, I’m not a people person. I was proud, selfish, and headstrong. But only by the love and grace of God, He slowly shapes my character and continues to teach - and often discipline - me to love others. When God calls, we must respond, then He will equip us. Having said that, loving people is not automatic (in my case, I need a miracle!) but it requires humility, perspective, and practice. But the question is WHY? Why it is important to love people? As Christ-followers, this should be obvious. Look at Christ’s examples and read Christ’s words. But generally speaking, we live with each other, we work with each other, we are dependent on each other, and we always meet each other. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Even Superman needs Louis! As John Andrew Holmes puts it: “It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.”

So, since we cannot avoid people, we might as well learn to love people. And when you try, you will eventually genuinely love them (Yes, some people require more grace from our part. Actually, vice versa). I brought this book back in 2010 because I saw the need for me to learn to develop relationships with my boss, colleagues, and staff to win their hearts. Besides, in the cinema business, I have to deal with many types of clients and customers. I was young and inexperienced but hungry enough to learn from my mistakes and try new things. This book together with John’s larger book Winning with People (2004) and Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) have been a great help for me. 12 years later, as I read through this book again, I’m amazed by how relevant, important, and simply profound these twenty-five ways are to win with people. There are lots of good stories and I particularly love the “On Bringing It Home” section in every chapter designed to help the readers to put each way/lesson into action. There are lines, highlights, juicy quotes, and personal notes in my copy that bring back good memories.

Ps: One concern that I have with this kind of book is that: we must draw the line (no matter how thin the line is) between influencing and manipulating people. Use it wisely and ethically.

Truth be told, I have become slightly better in my relationships with people. Slowly yet hopeful. Some of these lessons have turned into habits; some I still have to practice; some are a bit more challenging - stubborn! - to implement. When I observe myself, people around me, and how people interact in social media and technologies like Zoom, Skype, Google Meet, etc. it reminds me that all the more we have to learn to connect with people effectively as humans, improve our interpersonal skills, breathe encouragements, be genuinely interested with others online and offline, and make the most of every opportunity to “keep winning by helping others win” said John Maxwell. I may forget my own advice or lessons that I learned from this book and realistically cannot win every people I encounter, but Lord, I pray, for me and you, to make a difference at least to one person even with a simple gesture of kindness that we meet TODAY. May he or she says, “I have become better for having known you.”

#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #GrowingLeaders #WinningWithPeople #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

To read my other book reviews by John C. Maxwell, CLICK HERE

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THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Do You Have a Reading Mentor? #1Book1Week November 2020

 

Do you have mentors? I hope you do. If you can, find one mentor for each skill that you want to develop. As for me, I want to develop in these areas: leadership, evangelism, attitude, and developing others (L.E.A.D.). As for evangelism, the late Charles H. Spurgeon is one of my distant (long death) mentors. I've read a dozen of his biographies and books. All in my library at home. I wish I can meet him in person and learn by observing his life. But he is the man of the past born in British in 1834 and died in 1892. His passion for winning souls is very contagious. His sermons are powerful and God-centred. Another thing that I admire about Spurgeon is his love for books. I want to emulate his reading habit but I'm far from his genius, concentration, and comprehension power.

From an early age, Spurgeon was a reader — and gradually became a ferocious reader, usually reading 6 books per week (that's #6Books1Week) even amid a busy schedule of sermon preparations (usually he preached 4-10 sermons a week), writing books and editing the monthly magazine. By the end of his life, he amassed a library of over 7,000 books. No doubt this reading habit played a major part in moulding his mind to powerfully unpack biblical truth with the clarity and imagination he is known for. The Prince of Preachers advises: "Give yourself unto reading. The man who never reads will never be read; he who never quotes will never be quoted. He who will not use the thoughts of other men’s brains proves that he has no brains of his own. You need to read [books]." Yes sir! Of course, he read mostly heavy theological books (just admire his God-given brain, don't need to compare) but he also read many 'secular' books.

If you know Spurgeon, my goal to read #1Book1Week is nothing in comparison. And that is good 😆 If I'm ahead, he will never be my mentor 🤭 To read my sort-of review for these books 👇 CLICK THE LINKS:

#1 Bribery and Corruption:Biblical Reflections and Case Studies for the Marketplace in Asia (2018) by Bishop Hwa Yung

#2 The 5 Essential PeopleSkills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, and Resolve Conflicts (2004) by Dale Carnegie

#3 The Holiness of God (1984) by R.C. Sproul

#4 The Leader’s Greatest Return: Attracting, Developing, and Multiplying Leaders (2020) by John C. Maxwell

#LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #LeadersAreReaders #CharlesHSpurgeon

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THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

The 5 Essential People Skills, (2004) by Dale Carnegie, Sort-of-Book Review

The 5 Essential People Skills: How to Assert Yourself, Listen to Others, 

and Resolve Conflicts (2004) by Dale Carnegie

I've read How to Win Friends and Influence People and The Leader In You (to read my review, CLICK HERE) and so this is a refreshing and reminding course for me. Naturally, I'm not a people person. It's not that I don't love people, but people can be troublesome. In the past, I have no problem using people and influence them for my benefit but intentionally want to help and develop people? That one requires continuous learning, practicing, and humility. This book - and others like John C. Maxwell’s Winning with People - have helped me a lot  As I enter the workplace and serve in the ministry, people skill is even more important. Dale asserts, "No matter what your line of work, even if it's in one of the technical professions, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people."

The five (5) Essential People Skills are:

#1 Rapport Building
#2 Curiosity
#3 Communication
#4 Ambition
#5 Conflict Resolution

I want to summarize each skill but after some thought, it is better if you learn it for yourself. I suggest you don’t need to read the book, just listen to the audiobook. You can get so much value from just listening. Go to YouTube for the audiobook (for personal use only), CLICK HERE.

#ServeToLead #1Book1Week #LeadersAreReaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain #PeopleSkills #DaleCarnegie

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THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

 

Angelus' Quote: Leadership Is Never Easy

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Book Review: The Leader In You (1993) by Dale Carnegie

The Leader In You: How to Win Friends, Influence People and Success In a Changing World (1993) by Dale Carnegie & Associates, Inc. with Stuart R. Levine & Michael A. Crom

If you already read Dale Carnegie's masterwork How to Win Friends and Influence People (originally published in 1936), you'll find that this book is repetitive only with clearer examples, simpler chapters and modern touch. If you just read How to Win Friends and Influence People say, about less than 6 months ago, I think you don't have to read this one. But for me, the last time I read Dale Carnegie's book (including How to Stop Worrying and Start Living) was about 3-4 years ago, so this is a good refresher for me because I forget some of the key lessons that he taught. Reading The Leader In You is fun and beneficial for me because this year my focus is on leadership, one of my subject of interests. Although I've read dozens of leadership books, I still can learn greatly from this one. As Dale Carnegie writes, "Keep your mind open to change all the time. Welcome it. Court it. It is only by examining and re-examining your opinions and ideas that you can progress." How true.

This book is published by Pocket Books, a division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. and as expected, it is pocket-size, only 230+ pages and 16 short chapters with Carnegie's quote at the beginning and a key lesson for each leadership principles. Dale Carnegie begins the introduction of The Leader In You by explaining that as the 21st-century approaches, the world is undergoing enormous change, and so "the human-relations revolution," a cultural change is here where "a whole new breed of leaders" is required. What the world needs is not hierarchical and bossy ways of leadership, today all the more, we need leaders who mastered the human-relations principles. "What needed is leadership, to help people achieve what they are capable of, to establish a vision of the future, to encourage, to coach and mentor, and to establish and maintain successful relationships."

Let me highlight briefly 5 Human-Relations-Leadership Principles (there are 16) with my favourite quotes:

#1 Finding the Leader In You. "Leadership is never easy. But thankfully, something else is also true: Every one of us has the potential to be a leader every day." Key lesson: The first step toward success is identifying your leadership strengths.

#2 Starting to Communicate. Here are the first steps to successful communication: 1) Make communication a top priority; 2) Be open to other people, and 3) Create a receptive environment for communication. Key lesson: Communication is built on a trusting relationship.

#3 Motivating People. Three important ways to do this: 1) Include others in the process, every step of the way; 2) Treat people as individuals; and 3) Encouraged, recognized and rewarded works well done. Key lesson: Motivation can never be forced. People have to want to do a good job.

#4 Expressing Genuine Interest In Others. "Expressing genuine interest in others – there's no better way to make people interested in you. People respond to people who are sincerely interested in them. They can't help but respond." "Even more important than expressing interest is showing it." Key lesson: There's nothing more effective and rewarding than showing a genuine interest in other people.

#5 Teaming Up for Tomorrow. "The greatest reward a leader can achieve – the greatest legacy a leader can leave – is a group of talented, self-confident, and cooperative people, how are themselves ready to lead." Wow! Key lesson: Team players are the leaders of tomorrow.

These 5 and the other 11 principles outlined in this book is timeless. Since the world today is getting more and more virtual, the need for leaders of today (and tomorrow) to be relational is all the more important. I'm aspiring to be a better leader, I teach leadership lessons in churches and organized seminars twice per year. But based on my personality, relationships are not my strength. I have to work hard and intentional to strengthen my human-relations skills. Why? Because leaders lead PEOPLE. People are the reason leaders exist. Therefore, this book is valuable to me. I recommend this book wholeheartedly. As a closing, I would like to also recommend John C. Maxwell's two books on leadership-relationship: 1) Winning with People (2004) and 2) 25 Ways to Win with People (2005, with Les Parrott). These two books are what I called The New How to Win Friends and Leading People.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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