Valentine's Day: A Reminder to Love the Sinner (But Hate the Sin)

Long time ago I was struggle with Jesus’ words and actions. He said such thing as “[The sinner or wicked] will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life” (Matthew 25:46, ESV). That is to say, the sinners will go to hell and the righteous will be with God in heaven. Amazingly knowing this reality, Jesus, throughout the Gospel stories always spend time with sinners and even hang on the cross with the criminals. He said, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners” (Mark 2:17).

Now, why does he do that? The popular answer would be because Jesus loves sinners and he desires to saved them from the eternal punishment of hell and make them righteous and have eternal life in Him. Cliché but true. But isn’t that answer also means that in order for Jesus to love me, I should be a sinner. And the worst interpretation of all is that it doesn’t matter if I keep on sinning because Jesus still loves me anyway. Cliché but false. The best argument, most biblical and faithful to the Scripture, the core attitude of Jesus toward this matter is that: Jesus loves sinners, but hate sins. Cliché but this is the truth.

This truth can only be applied to Jesus, the Son of God because only God can love beyond the wickedness of the sinner and only God can hate righteously. We often failed to love and hate in a godly manner because we ourselves are sinners. We can have the same attitude toward others only if we allow Jesus to lives in us and we in Him. Only if He is the Lord of our lives.

Let us, in the midst of this worldly-love celebration – Valentine’s Day – be reminded that God love us first and in respond "We love him, because He first loved us” (1 John 4:19). And then in the same way, let us also be reminded to love sinners (the most loving thing to do is to tell others about Jesus and His work of redemption on the cross) and in the same time be reminded that we should never compromise and tolerate sins at the same time. Hate the sin but not the sinner. God helps us to love, Your way! Amen.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

P.s: “Hate the sin, love the sinner” was made famous by Mahatma Gandhi. It is not from the Scripture. He probably paraphrase that quote from St. Augustine of Hippo’s “With love for mankind and hatred of sins." I don’t know from which context he said this, but when I use this quote I have God’s love in mind, Jesus’ words and deeds in the Scripture and from my own personal experiences when I encounter God’s grace and love in my life – changed me from sinner to saint.

Never take Relationship for Granted, Express Affection Every Day

“[Each] man must love his wife as he loves himself,

and the wife must respect her husband” (Ephesians 5:33, NLT)

Dr. Nathaniel Branden is a California psychologist whose advice about marriage has appeared in several national magazines. When couples come to him asking, “Are there specific ways in which couples who remain happily in love behave differently from couples who don’t?” Branden says, “Yes!” He points out that couples who stay in love never take their relationship for granted, but they express their affection for each other every day in various ways. In his article on Reader’s Digest entitled ‘Advice That Could Save Your Marriage’, he writes (summaries):

·        They frequently say “I love you”

·        They are physically affectionate, holding hands, hugging, cuddling

·        They express their love sexually

·        They verbalize their appreciation and admiration

·        They share their thoughts and feelings, learning to self-disclose what’s on their minds and hearts to each other, confiding in each other

·        They express their love materially, giving little gifts to each other

·        They create time alone together

“Marriage are made in heaven,
but we are responsible for the maintenance work”

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

No More “Bullet” for Valentine

“You have heard the law that says, ‘Love your neighbor’ and hate your enemy. But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!” (Matthew 5:43-44NLT).

Today, there are hundreds and hundreds of watered-down phrases for not loving other people. “Oh, I love Anthony in the Lord, but I don’t like his mannerisms… Rudy is alright, but he is so hard to get to know… John has emotional problems and Samuel comes from a low social background… I like Kenny alright, but not sure if I love him as a friend though…” [Dear buddies, I’m using your names for an example. Jangan marah a…]. All these phrases are but a bunch of excuses to avoid loving other people. We all once in a while are guilty of breaking this clear direct to the point commandment.

In the sight of God it is all hypocrisy. Jesus never said in His Word, “Love your brothers and sisters if he or she have a good mannerism, well-dressed, zealous, a soul-winner… love them if they loves you back” No! Jesus told us in the famous Sermon of the Mount that real love does not begin until we love our enemies – “But I say, love your enemies!” And if it is not enough to just gives command (even though it was sufficient to do so since He is the Lord over all creations) to us – He displayed it on the Cross. The Scripture says, “God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8) That mean, while we were still His enemies, He die for us. The Cross is the solid proof of His eternal Word, an apex of commitment for His love for us and thus for us to joyfully obey His command to love our enemies.

This whole concept of loving our enemies is, for the average person of today, nothing but an outdated theological phase, a wall-picture for ‘Pharisees’ of today to display in their Facebook pages, a great quote for ‘Scribes’ to twit on their Twitter accounts – but the fact is, for many people, it seem so impossible for the human nature to attain that it is never taken seriously, even among Christians. We read and read and read “Love your enemies” and say and preach and share but we know nothing of it. Nothing of really loving a man who cannot tolerate us, who speaks evil of us, spites us, those who does not like us or the way we do things. More often, as for me, we cannot love even the people around us with whom we live and work daily.

There was a young man who often told me that he loved everybody. I replied, “Bro, you not telling the truth aren’t you?” He doesn’t think much about what I had just said. He insisted that he loved everybody (This is the kind of respond you’ll get when you ask young people today: “How are you?” They will automatically answer you, “Dahsyat luar biasa! Yes! Yes! Yes!”). I happened to know of at least one person to whom he didn’t bother to say ‘hi’ to every time he meet that someone at Christian gathering. He could pass this person several times without showing any gesture of kindness – not even a smile. I asked sarcastically, “Do you really love everybody? How about him?” He said, “Of course bro I do loves everybody… well, except him.”

Do you get my point here? Had you been like that to your enemies lately? Friends, don’t let God’s Word to be filled only in the head. There is no real love without action! Potentially he may have loved him. Theoretically he may have loved him. But it was not a reality. To joyfully obey God’s Word to “love your enemies” requires head and hands, mind and heart, knowledge and action – not a bullet to the head; dead and static. Floyd McClung writes, “The Scriptures teach that we cannot live the Christian life with integrity unless we love people when they are impossible to get along with. The challenge is to love and keep on loving, even when it is hard”.

This Valentine’s Day, would you once again learn to love the unlovable? Would you stop shooting “bullets” to the head – dead and static, and start to living and doing the Word of God? Would you take the challenge to be serious and radically different by “love(ing) your enemies”? Would you trust Him, as you surrender your life to Him, as you reflect His blood flows for His enemies on the Cross, as you depend on the work of the Holy Spirit in your life? Would you take this challenge to “love your enemies” this Valentine’s Day?

Jesus said, “You’re familiar with the old written law, ‘Love your friend,’ and its unwritten companion, ‘Hate your enemy.’ I’m challenging that. I’m telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves… In a word, what I’m saying is, Grow up. You’re kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you.” (Matthew 5:43-45, 48, The Message)

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Nota Ringkas tentang Cinta Romantik

“Segala sesuatu di dunia ini berlaku pada waktu yang ditentukan Allah... waktu untuk berasmara dan waktu untuk menahan diri” (Pengkhutbah 3:1, 5)

Cinta romantik. Cinta romantik ialah bahasa cinta yang membawa kepada keintiman antara satu dengan yang lain (jiwangnya aku ini). Alangkah indahnya perasaan itu apabila seseorang yang kita cintai menyatakan bahawa dia sayang kamu, dia menghargai masa bersama kamu dan dia betul-betul telah jatuh cinta kepada kamu. Kamu akan merasa yakin, dihargai dan dunia ini seakan-akan milik kamu... senyum, bersemangat, indah.

Pernah kamu merasa begini? Dulu? Sekarang? Belum lagi? Walau apa pun kita semua mengingini hubungan yang intim, cinta romantik. Jangan malu untuk mengakui keinginan kamu untuk memiliki cinta ini – Tuhan mencipta kita untuk mempunyai hubungan antara satu sama lain termasuk hubungan intim. Keinginan itu telah ditanam ke dalam hati setiap insan, dan ia hanya akan ‘menyinar’ dengan indah sekali apabila hubungan itu diikat melalui tali perkahwinan. Tuhan yang mencipta hubungan romantik, jadi ia bukanlah sesuatu yang tidak baik melainkan jika kita menyalahgunakannya.

Bagi kamu yang masih bujang lagi (seperti saya buat masa sekarang), saya ada soalan untuk kamu: Sejauh mana kamu mengingini hubungan romantik? Adakah kamu betul-betul mengingininya sehinggakan kamu sangguh bersama dengan sesiapa sahaja walaupun ia melanggar perintah Tuhan Allah dan bertentangan dengan ajaran Al-Kitab?

Begini, hubungan intim, cinta romantik dengan seseorang selalunya terjadi pada masa kamu tidak menyedarinya. Ia berlaku apabila kamu tidak terlampau memikirkannya. Ia selalunya berputik, bermula daripada persahabatan. Dan cinta bagi orang Kristian harus bertumbuh melalui perhubungan iman, berkongsi pengalaman hidup dan mempunyai matlamat sama iaitu untuk bertumbuh dalam kasih Yesus Kristus dan melayani Tuhan Allah seumurhidup bersama-sama.

Oleh itu, jalinlah hubungan persahabatan dengan penuh ikhlas, tidak kira samada dengan lelaki atau perempuan dan teruslah melayani Yesus dimana sahaja kamu berada (jangan terlalu fokus atau risau untuk mencari teman wanita atau teman lelaki). Ingat: walau apa pun kita ada Tuhan Yesus, teman sejati, yang selalu mencintai kita. Ingat juga bahawa “segala sesuatu di dunia ini berlaku pada waktu yang ditentukan Allah...” waktu untuk menunggu si dia dan waktu untuk cinta romantik.

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

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Nota: Namun begitu, mungkin ada diantara kamu telah dipanggil untuk melayani Tuhan Allah sepenuh masa dan kamu akan tetap membujang seumur hidup. Ini ada kebenaran bagi kamu; Yesus Kristus tidak pernah mempunyai hubungan romantik dan tidak berkahwin... namun Dia tetap Anak Manusia yang paling sempurna sekali. Rasul Paulus hidup membujang sampai mati... namun Tuhan Allah telah menggunakan hidupnya dengan luar biasa sekali. Kamu tetap sempurna dan lebih lagi boleh melayani Yesus dengan hebat sekali walaupun kamu tidak mempunyai teman hidup. Bersuka-citalah!

First Love

“Gus says to Noah, ‘My daddy used to tell me ‘the first time you fall in love it changes your life forever, and no matter how hard you try, the feelin’ never goes away. This girl you been tellin’ me about was your first love. And no matter what you do, she’ll stay with you forever.’” (Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook)

She has dark-brown, small and lovely eyes. Her hair is long, blackish, curl at the end – when the wind blows, it moves like a soft gentle wave. There is a mole on her face that sparkling her sweet-cute-little nose. She is tall, taller than I am. Her body figure is perfect as her shadow under the bright morning sun; slim and wonderfully made. Beautiful. Her skin tone radiates her Asian look.
I never touch it, just looking from a distance. I wonder, could a man so lucky to hold her hand, so fortunate to kiss her lips, and so privileged to let her head rested on his chest. I envy those who win her heart before. It breaks my heart when those males never appreciate the angel that was in front of them. When she speaks, all the noises don’t matter anymore. When she called my name, my heart melted like a vanilla chocolate ice cream. Sweet remains, but warm instead of cold.

 “Oh my”, I said to myself the first time I saw her innocent face. She was holding her textbooks, hair tied behind, walked slowly into the library, “I’m in love… God, I can’t move.” I was stuck on my chair. Her smile was like a magnet that absorbs all my being, her gestures made slow-motion in my mind. “I’m in love, oh… I’m in love.” Since then, I resolve to be her guidance angel. To admire her from afar, to protect her from others that want to take advantage of her – to kill the mocking birds around her, if I could; but for sure, to pray for her safety and well-being when she is out of my radar. “I’m in love,” I declared, “I’m in love”.

………………………………………………..

This is the story of my first love in college. Quite details but not all, I keep the rest of the story to myself. You can tease me when you meet me, I won’t be offended. Or smile, I won’t hide. I would appreciate your interest in the matter. I love to recall it over and over again. It gives me hope, excitement, and honestly saying – it never fails to bring a smile to my face. The memories are God’s hidden treasure for me.

How about you? Seriously, have you ever fallen in love? Do you remember how it feels the first time you saw him or her walk by? You remember, do you? Love, first love, is a feeling you feel when you have a feeling you’ve never felt before. Here is the point in my talk (or writing) about love today: Never give up on love. No one is perfect until you fall in love with someone. Your love story is not gonna end if your first love died or is gone before your eyes – you have to move on, never give up. Grief, loss, betrays may chase your love away for a moment but not permanence. Take heart, my friends. This ancient quote may be helpful for you; “Love is a fabric which never fades, no matter how often it is washed in the waters of adversity and grief.” Stand up on your feet; there’s hope for you to discover… a love story that is yet to be written on the pages of your memory.

...Learn to fall in love again

...Never give up on love

It is said: One's first love is always perfect until one meets one's second love...

Kristen Stewart* once testified about her first love, “Everybody says the first cut is the deepest. It’s so true. I don’t know if it’s because it’s the best love, but it’s the first that you remember. There is one boy that I will remember for the rest of my life, and I wouldn’t go as far as to say, ‘Oh I was in love with him and he broke my heart’. You hold on to that, just that first experience, it’s good to have and you should appreciate it, even if it hurts.”

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

...........................................

Reference:

*Quote from: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/first-love

Part 2: Message before Valentine's Day - You give me 'love', I give you 'good-bye'

A short story. Maybe it's a familiar one. And maybe sometimes ridiculous, well of course... it’s a made-up story. Yes, I'm not a good storyteller and my grammar always failed me. With that in mind, least your expectation on this story okay.  

Her's Story

            It's been 1 month in college, this dude; clean hair cut, tall and with beautiful Asian dark brown eyes makes her wonder- is he the one that she been looking for? After less than a week knowing each other, both decided to go for a date. Quick? Yes, this is common. This is her first date. Excited. Nervous. Happy. Don't know what to do. That night she wearing a pink t-shirt with a cute Mickey Mouse on it, not so high heel shoes she borrows from her roommate and a tight pair of jeans that she bought last month.

            At a Chinese restaurant that night, she couldn't believe that this gorgeous dude is her first date. 'Mamma!!! Is this a dream?' her heart beat faster as she makes a polite excuse to go to a ladies' room and wash her face. After putting her simple make up on, she moves back to her seat.

Dude: You look pretty today~ and I like your pink t-shirt.

Girl: Emmm... (Smile) Thank you... you too... (She don't know what to say)

[Dude was thinking, 'me too? I don't wear a pink t-shirt! Idiot! Well, I have to endure this.]

Dude: it's noisy here... can I come closer?

Girl: Yap~ (dup dup… dup dup... her heart beat faster than before)

It’s been 1 hour but she doesn't feel that way, the clock is jealous… envy, "it’s only 15 minutes!'. She enjoys every moment. 'Yes, he is the one!' she said to herself. Dude is getting closer and closer to her. She kind of friendly girl and this doesn't border her anyway... but that night she felt a touch on her shoulder. Crawling like a spider. Slowly dude makes an attempt to kiss her. 'Almost there…’ Dude proclaimed in his mind. 'Almost there'. Bang! It was a palm of goddess lying on his face, "What?” said Dude.

"Don't do this! I'm not a cheap girl!” she almost screams in her cry.

"I thought you like me. I thought you love me..."

She didn't say anything.

"I thought you love me, why I cannot kiss you? You said you love me don't you?” Dude is kind of pushy.

She didn't say anything.

"Hey, please... please... I'm sorry okay... I'm sorry~"

When Dude tried to hug her, to ‘comfort’ her for his owns fault, she pushes his hands and said very clearly to him, "Yes, I like you. But we just met for 1 week and now you try to kiss me? This is not love; you try to take advantage of me! You give me 'love'... now I give you 'goodbye'!" bang! Another familiar palm strike Dude for the last time.

That night, she celebrated her Valentine alone. After returning her roommate's high heels, she asked herself in her bedroom, 'Is he out there?' Hmmm... She was disappointed with Dude and perhaps her time to meet 'the one' is not this year. She didn't tell this story to her mom, but she called her that night saying, "Mom... (Pause) I'll always remember your advice. I will never allow any man to take advantage of Me." and she talks about how funny it feels when she using high heels for the first time.

You give me ‘love’; I give you ‘goodbye’.

For Part 1 click HERE. 

Part 1: Message before Valentine's Day - Sex is sacred!

Before writing this post, I Google up some facts about Valentine; here is my finding. Top 10 Surprising Facts about Valentine’s Day  

1. Women spend half as much as men
2. Condom sales are highest on Valentine’s Day 
3. March and pregnancy tests go Hand-in-Hand 
4. Florists make a killing (by increasing the price) around Valentine’s Day. 
5. Millions purchase Valentines for their pets (especially for single people) 
6. Women don’t need men on Valentine’s Day (???) 
7. Romance is only a tiny part of valentine’s Day 
8. Women prefer cards to flowers 
9. Flowers are a man’s best friend 
10. In Japan, men receive more Valentines

 When I was young and dangerous, I never heard about the seventh commandment: ‘You shall not commit adultery’. 1^st I hate English, 2^nd I don’t read Bible and 3^rd what it has to do with me? But as I’m growing into maturity, despite many mistakes in life, I’ve learned that sex is sacred.

Dr. James I. Packer, in his book I want to be Christian, reminds us that sex is for marriage and for marriage only and marriage must be seen as a relationship of lifelong fidelity. Some misuse of sex (cheap sex) he said is due to longing for short-term excitement, for relief from mental and physical tension, or loneliness or boredom, etc. Today, our society is been bombarded by some irresponsible people who inject negative influences from media to stimulate our minds with unhealthy images such as pornography, etc.

The fact that ‘Condom sales are highest on Valentine’s Day’ (25% higher) and ‘March and pregnancy tests go Hand-in-Hand’ is on the list above shows that there are people out there who misinterpret that Valentine's Day = Sex’s Day.

As for young men and women out there (no more boys and girls) let us remember that there is an increasing rate of sex outside marriage, baby dumping, sexual abuse and prostitute globally. Even here in Malaysia, cases for such a crime due to ‘mistake’ are shamefully destroyed our society. Never such cases happen so drastically like this before. Let’s keep sex as a sacred matter. Just like what Peter Paris quote in his blog sesamamu, ‘Cinta sejati setia menunggu' Indeed, TRUE LOVE WAITS.  

Can you wait? 

  

"Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship." (http://www.lifeway.com/tlw/)

 For Part 2, click HERE

Story of a Broken Heart

[You got 3 missed calls], as I checked my phone right after I came back from playing Futsal that evening, probably between 6 - 7pm. During that time I stayed at the campus, I replied her calls by sms’ing her:
"Eh sorry, ku g main futsal tdi. Kak tok mok pergi makan d kantin."
(Sorry, I was playing fulsal just now. After this I'll be going to canteen.)

She replied back: "Bleh x ku jumpa ko klak. D taman kereta jam 8?"
(Can I meet you later at car park area at 8pm?)

I said: "Okay."

She was my best friend and she always share with me about her relationship with her boyfriend. Well maybe I'm not that handsome enough then, that her boyfriend don't even feel threaten whenever I'm with her. She having her time that night, pouring out how she felts about her boyfriend; about their fights, about how he always make her angry, about how he didn't returned her phone call and sms'ing her etc. And I'm having my time too during the conversation; I finished about 2 packs of Wise potato chips; tomato and onion flavor and 1 can of vanilla coke. (I was tempted to finished hers’ soya bean but couldn't.)

I don't remember clearly what she said that night (because my eyes focus on that soya bean), but I remember this; she asking me, "Richard, I don't see that this relationship can survive anymore. I want to break my relationship with him... I love him so much but I don't know how... I don't know what to do?"

That night was totally silent for 3 minutes.
You may think that I'm a wise person, so I take some time to process the info or you may assume that I was stunned that I don't know what to say... Wrong! Actually my mouth was full with foods that I need times to swallow it.

I broke the silent night, "You know B, I knew both of you for about 2 years... and I hope that both of you can be together, you guys are 'sweet' couple." She smiled. (And I was: "Did I just say that?!!!")

"But I have to tell you something..." (She don't like the word 'but', neither do I)
"What?" she asked.

"You're controlling him too much and you always nagging about how he… this and that. I know you love him, but there's a point when you need to compliment him, treat him like a friend not as your 'full-time' husband, at least not yet, (I smiled) and don't whining about the small things... late 5 minutes, didn't returned your sms within 10 minutes... bla.. bla... bla.."

She silent for a while… so I took this opportunity to drink that soya bean in her hand

"Anyway, he is a little bit slow too in this area... that's why we become good friend." I chuckled and finished her drink successfully.

She didn't denied that, so I continued, "I hope that you can consider to continue this relationship by becoming more understandable, not too control (I smiled again) and maybe... stop whining about the small things and start to look at the big picture."

She agreed. I added, "Oh, do you remember yesterday when you called him and he didn't answer you?"

"Yap, why? What he's doing? I know he don't care about me!!!"

"Oh, he left his phone in my room… He went to my room and sleep over."

Curiously, she asked, "Err... What he was doing at your room?"

I said, "He come to my room and asking me and my roommate to pray with him."
"Pray for what?"

"He said you were sick and the next day which is today you are having your test. So he wants to pray for you. He said a lot about you and how he really cares for you. I bet he said much more but I was sleepy."

She smiled and I can see her slowly cry out. It was a great awakening for her. Since that day, she seldom calling me for session of 'counseling' maybe because she manage to see the 'small things' in a different view, knowing the principle behind my feedback to "Never let the Situation mean more than the Relationship" which I adapts from John C. Maxwell's book. But I suspect that she may realize by then that I eat too much and broke her money down. Oh I love that Wise tomato flavor!

----FIN----