The Duties of Parents (2010, first published 1888) by J. C. Ryle, Book Review

 The Duties of Parents (2010, first published 1888) by J. C. Ryle

My parents are good but not saints; as far as I can remember, they never taught me about Christ and the Word directly but I remember they (especially mom) taught me to pray before a meal and went to bed; I believe they want the best for me but in our culture, best mean mediocrity. I don't blame them, they just follow the examples from their own parents, grandparents, and so on. I never regret having them as my parents (although, I once imagined that I'm the prince of the King of England!) but I decide, by God's grace, to make a difference for my future children. You should too. Change must start with us. Bishop J.C. Ryle (1816-1900), of which his seven volumes of Expository Thoughts on the Gospels I owned, open this short book with the famous verse from Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go - and when he is old, he will not depart from it." If the crisis of ungodliness among young people during Ryle's time was alarming as he mentions in the book, then, surely today has become worse. In my observation, the responsibility to "train up a child" that is supposed to begin at home has ended up mostly left to the school, the church (if any), and even social media. This is not supposed to be so for Proverb 22:6 assumes that it is the responsibility of the parents or the close guardian(s) of "a child" to give godly instructions and to train him or her to walk with God. Ryle explains: "The plain truth is, the Lord's commandment in our text is not regarded - and therefore the Lord's promise in our text is not fulfilled." Don't make excuses, just obey the Word of God and you will be blessed. Here are Ryle's seventeen (17) insights of biblical responsibility of child-rearing that he outlines in this book:

1. If you train your children rightly, train them in the way they should go, and not in the way they would
2. Train Up your child with all tenderness, affection, and patience
3. Train your children with an abiding persuasion on your mind that much depends upon you
4. Train with this thought continually before your eyes – that the soul of your child is the first thing to be considered
5. Train your child to a knowledge of the Bible
6. Train them to a habit of prayer
7. Train them to habits of diligence, and regularity about public means of grace
8. Train them to a habit of faith
9. Train them to a habit of obedience
10. Train them to a habit of always speaking the truth
11. Train them to a habit of always redeeming the time
12. Train them with a constant fear of overindulgence
13. Train them remembering continually how God trains His children
14. Train them remembering continually the influence of your own example
15. Train them remembering continually the power of sin
16. Train them remembering continually the promises of Scripture
17. Train them, lastly, with continual prayer for a blessing on all you do

#ServeToLead #PreachTheWord #JCRyle #GodlyParentsGodlyChildren #NoExcuseJustObey #LeadersAreReaders #GrowingLeaders #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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A Different Kind of Woman

[Women and/or wives] "do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear — but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious" (1 Peter 3:3-4, ESV) #ServeToLead #PreachTheWord #WomensDay #BeADifferentKindOfWoman

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Clean Your Own Room!

Dear beloved, first of all, we have to correct ourselves. Being busy with criticizing society all the time makes you neglect yourself and you ignore that you may be similar to what you are despising. So, take good care of yourself first, stop doing anything that you know to be wrong and start doing and saying only things that make you proud.

The first step is to bring peace to your (own) household. As Jordan Peterson advises: "If you cannot bring peace to your household, how dare you try to rule a city?” And after that, you can criticize the government and country (Malaysia, bla bla bla) and attempt to contribute to change the society you are living in for the best. This reminds me of Mother Teresa's words too, “If each of us would only sweep our own doorstep, the whole world would be clean" #ServeToLead #CleanUpYourRoom

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I'm Saving My Past Self

Nanjing's Yangtze River Bridge has been one of the world's most popular suicide spots. One man named Chen Si has been volunteering on the bridge every weekend for the past 15 years. He has saved more than 330+ people so far.

To the news reporter, Mr. Si said, "When I talk to those people who want to commit suicide, they are really kind and nice people, they just made a small mistake, took a wrong step." One man can make a difference! You probably can't save 330+ people (but possible), but you can help one person at a time. Perhaps, you can start by being a listener to one right now

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Angelus' Quote: Leaders Can't Stand to Leave Things the Way They Found Them

Leaders are not satisfied with personal success; they want to make a difference 🔥They can't stand to leave things the way they found them. They are driven to make them better. It is from this discontent, with ownership and commitment, that they exercise influence as leaders ☑💪😉 #ServeToLead

______________

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Angelus' Quote: Leaders See Opportunities In Every Difficulty

Life will always be full of obstacles, how you choose to deal with them is your decision, your attitude 😊😉😎. Effective leaders approach roadblocks with a high level of positivity and creative problem solving that allows them to overcome situations that others might give up on💪

One quote by Martin Luther King Jr. that also applicable for a leader is this: The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy" ✌

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Angelus' Quote: Is Your Busy Life Making A Difference?

You're probably busy now. In fact, your week is full of a busy schedule. Being busy is not wrong. It is being busy without a purpose that's the problem. By letting this question, "Is your busy life making a difference?" examine the PURPOSE of your busyness. By the end of the day, are you making a difference?

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Jesus' Leadership #24 Turn Things Upside-Down

In almost every situation in which Jesus found Himself, His purpose was to turn things upside-down. In fact, that was His calling:

“The people have forgotten who the Father is. Turn this upside-down”

“There is a little girl dying. Turn this upside-down”

“People dishonoring the Temple of God. Turn this upside-down”

“Saul (later became Paul) was out to harm His disciples. Turn this upside-down”

If people were sitting in ashes, His job was to give “beauty for ashes” (Isaiah 61:3). The list goes on and on of the upside-down things He was sent to do. He did not have nor did He take the luxury of looking at difficult situations and saying, “Well, politically it would be wise for me to just go with the flow here…” No! In fact, He said at one point, “I did not come to bring peace, but a sword…” (Matthew 10:34).

In each instance His upside-down technique was different. He followed no set of formula. If He had, all our prayers-fixed, tradition-observed or step-by-step-healing-method will be the same for all (Boring!) He didn’t come to give us formulas. He came to give us a new mindset – one that has an upside-down mentality. In fact, the word repent loosely means to turn around.

We are each called to be upside-down leaders. When we are faced with difficult situations, we should rejoice because that’s what we’re here for. It was said that the early Christians under the influence of the Holy Spirit “have turned the world upside down” (Acts 17:6) even though they were under heavy persecutions. Late Billy Graham commented: “[Jesus and His Word] were simple yet profound. And they shook people, provoking either happy acceptance or violent refection.  People were never the same after listening to Him… The people who followed Him were unique in their generation. They turned the world upside down because their hearts had been turned right side up. The world has never been the same.” Leaders should respond positively like how Norman Vincent Peale said, “When you see a problem coming down the road, holler ‘Hello, Problem! Where have you been? I’ve been training for you all my life!’”

We each have within us the power and Spirit to turn things upside-down. In fact, if Jesus is our Leader and Lord, it should be ours too. Of course, not every problem or issue needs to be settle by turning it upside-down. But when it is required of you to do it as a leader, then, do not hesitate. Turn it upside-down!

What situation in your family, workplace, organization or team

would you like to see turned around, upside-down? Why? (or Why Not?)

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John C. Maxwell on Leadership #6 Feelings Follow Thinking

The human mind has a tremendous amount of power in our lives. That which holds our attention determines our actions. Because of that, where we are today is the result of the dominating thoughts in our minds. And the way we think determines what our attitudes are. The good news is that you and I can change that. You can control your thoughts, and because of that, you can control your attitude.

Let’s do an experiment that will show you what I mean. Take a moment to think about the place where you live. No problem. You decided to think about it, and you did it. Next, imagine for a moment that the place where you live has burned to the ground, and everything in it is gone. What kind of emotional response did you have? Maybe you were sad because many irreplaceable things would have been lost in a fire. Maybe you were happy because your current living situation is terrible and a fresh start would do you good. The point is that your thinking prompts your emotion. That’s key, and here’s why:

Major premise: We can control our thoughts.

Minor premise: Our feelings come from our thoughts.

Therefore: We can control our feelings by changing how we think.

Why is that important? Because your attitude is your emotional approach to life. It’s the framework through which you see events, other people, even yourself. That’s why I believe the saying, “You are not what you think you are, but what you think... you are.”

[Taken from The Difference Maker: Making Your Attitude Your Greatest Asset (2006) by John C. Maxwell. Published by Thomas Nelson]

How are the dominating thoughts of your mind affecting

your attitude and effectiveness as a leader?

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Help Child Deal with Divorce #4 Annabel, Nobody Can Make Anybody Love Anybody Else

Dear Annabel,

This is going to sound really awful, but it isn't much you can do to stop your parents from getting a divorce. You have tried, uncle knows about it, to get your parents to love each other again. But the truth is, my dear, nobody can make anybody love anybody else. You don’t have to play-cupid, it is a mythology. I don't want to be sound harsh, you know that your parents have made a decision and it's something you will not able to change no matter how hard you try.

Do you know? Many children who are going through a divorce dream that their parents will get back together – but that very seldom happens. Your parents have made what they believe is the best decision, and by the time they tell you their decision, they've thought about it a lot and have pretty much made up their minds. We who witnessed your parents making decision know that it was a tough decision for them both.

 So, Bel, rather than putting your energy into trying to get your parents to stay together, put your energy into helping yourself stay strong. There is a blessing in this mess. Remember that you once told uncle that you want to make a difference? Well, if you face this difficult moment with a brave heart and faith in God, our Saviour, you someday can help those who will face the issue of divorce like you. You can be their mentor and teacher! :)

Love,

Angelus

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Jesus' Leadership #14 Break Ranks (Dare to Be Different)

Jesus did not follow the crowd. He led it. He did not report news, he made it happen. In the Old Testament, David had to break ranks to take on the giant Goliath because his brothers and fellow Israelites were back in their tents, trembling in fear. Finding the situation counter to all he believed about God, himself and his people, David volunteered to go forth to fight the giant (read 1 Samuel 17). Astonishingly, it was his brothers who tried to keep him from doing the right and courageous thing.

It was the same situation with Joseph in the Old Testament. His jealous brothers threw him in a well because they were tired of listening to how he stood apart from them. Families have very strong “corporate cultures” of their own, and anyone who dares to be different is bound to encounter resistance. To Jesus the Lord, his family was not necessarily his earthly mother and brothers, but anyone who did the will of God. In other words, his true family was anyone with similar goals, plans, and visions who was willing to act on them, no matter what the cost.

There are so many dysfunctional families and groups in our society today that a person must have uncommon courage to break free. Sometimes breaking free may require drastic measures and cause conflict. Churches can be dysfunctional. Companies can be dysfunctional. Laws can be dysfunctional. And a leader who is not willing to break ranks is not a leader at all, but merely puppet set up to maintain status quo.

The Pharisees were dysfunctional religious leaders whom Jesus felt so strongly about that he called them “whited sepulchres, broods of vipers” and other choice words. He had such strong words for them because they were supposed to help set people free, yet instead they enslaved people for their own selfish gain. Jesus knew he had to step out of that crowd in order to set people free. He broke ranks.

[Reference: Jesus, CEO (1995) by Laurie Beth Jones]

If you did what was really in your heart,

With whom or what would you come into conflict?
What keeping you from truly being a leader?

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Jesus Freaks: Adrian of Nicomedia, Put Down My Name to Be Tortured for Christ

“Love… rejoices with the truth; bears all things,

believe all things, hope all things, endures all things”
(The Apostle Paul, 1 Corinthians 13:4, 6-7).

A.D. 303

During the tenth and last major Roman persecution under Emperors Diocletian and Maximian, a young military officer who loved honour and courage distinguished himself to his superiors by faithfully and efficiently carrying out the letter of their orders in trying to suppress the Christians. His skill and daring in both this and in battle had led to one promotion after another.

            But Adrian’s task of torturing Christians bothered him. In the face of pain and death, Christians were repeatedly peaceful and unrelenting in their commitment to their Lord. He saw in these men and woman a courage greater than any he had ever seen in battle.

            Adrian was so intrigued by this that one day as he was bringing a group of Christians before a judge for sentencing, he asked one of them, “What gives you such strength and joy in the midst of your sufferings?” “Our Lord Jesus Christ, in whom we believe,” the man replied.

            Suddenly Adrian saw it as he never had before. The Roman gods he was defending could never give a person such courage! They were nothing compared to the God of these Christians.

            He made his way to the front of the line of prisoners and stepped before the judge. “Put down my name with those to be tortured. I also have become a Christian.” The emperor’s son Galerius, who served as Diocletian’s Caesar (or junior emperor) and had been present at the trials with his father, tried to persuade Adrian to strike his name from the list of Christians and to beg for forgiveness. Adrian assured him that he had not lost his mind but had acted thus according to his own conviction.

            What Adrian did not know at the time was that his wife, Natalia, had secretly become a Christian some time before and had been praying for him. When she heard that he was in prison, she went to him and encouraged him by telling him of her conversion and more about the God who loved him.

            The group of Christians Adrian had put his name down with were soon sentenced to die. Before this, because of his former status in the empire, Adrian was allowed to go home that he might make his peace with his wife before he was killed. When Natalia saw him coming down the road, she at first thought he had renounced Christ in order to be freed and wouldn’t let him into the house!

            Though this might have been an opportunity for Adrian to escape, he did not. He soon returned to the prison. When he did, he watched as others were subjected to terrible tortures: their arms and legs were broken with heavy hammers until they died from the agony and internal bleeding. When Adrian’s turn came, his wife feared most of all that her husband would become fainthearted and renounce Christ, but he finally knew the courage that could only belong to Christians and never backed away from his commitment. She strengthened Adrian and held on to his arms and legs while the executioner broke them with the hammer. Adrian died together with the rest.

            When they began to burn the bodies of the Christians, a thunderstorm arose, the furnace was extinguished, and lighting killed several of the executioners. The attempt was abandoned and the rest of the bodies were released to their families. Sometime later, after Adrian’s body had been moved to the city of Byzantium, Natalia’s body was found lying on top of her husband’s grave. She had died while attending it.

            His sacrifice has stood as a shining example for the last eighteen centuries. During that time Adrian has been knowns as one of the patron saints of soldiers.

[Taken from Jesus Freaks: Revolutionaries (2002) by dc Talk. Title mine]

“O loving Christ, draw me, a weakling, after Yourself;

for if You do not draw me I cannot follow You.

Give me a brave spirit that I may be ready and alert.

If the flesh is weak, may Your grace go before me, come alongside me, and follow me;

for without You I cannot do anything, and especially,

for Your sake I cannot go to a cruel death.

Grant me a ready spirit, a fearless heart, a right faith, a firm hope, and a perfect love,

that for Your sake I may lay down my life with patience and joy.”

John Huss,

as he lay in chains in prison before being burned at the stake, Bohemia @ Czechoslovakia

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Jesus is Infinite and Omnipotent: Boy's Five Loaves and Two Fish Made All the Difference

“Late in the afternoon the twelve disciples came to Jesus and said, ‘Send the crowds away to the nearby villages and farms, so they can find food and lodging for the night. There is nothing to eat here in this remote place.’ But Jesus said, ‘You feed them.’ ‘But we have only five loaves of bread and two fish,’ they answered. ‘Or are you expecting us to go and buy enough food for this whole crowd?’ For there were about 5,000 men there”
(Luke 9:12-14, NLT).

“Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, spoke up, ‘There’s a young boy here with five barley loaves and two fish. But what good is that with this huge crowd?’” (John 6:8-9)

The disciples were shocked by Jesus’ response and – so do I. They didn’t understand what he was saying. How could they possibly feed this huge crowd? Thus they gave him the typical reasons his request seemed impossible: too many people, no stores, no money. So Jesus told them to find out what they actually had (see Mark 6:38). A check of the resources yielded just a boy with five loaves of bread and two fish, a small boy’s lunch that he was willing to share for Jesus’ use.

The Bible doesn’t tell us what the boy was thinking or even where his parents were, for that matter. Was he the only one who had thought ahead? He was risking a lot, turning over his lunch to Jesus. We don’t know the interchange between the boy and the disciples, but they brought the food to Jesus. In all the accounts of this incident in the Gospels, we read nothing about the disciples giving of their resources to Jesus. Instead, they expressed their grave concerns about the problem and their doubts about any possible solutions. In contrast, the boy gave Jesus everything he had, even though it wasn’t much in light of the huge need. The boy’s faith in Jesus, expressed by turning over his meager resources, made all the difference.

Think about this: Because we are painfully aware of our weaknesses and limitations, we can easily think we have nothing to offer to God. After all, we might think, I’m only a housewife or I’m only a layperson or I’m only a college student or I haven’t been a Christian very long or I’m poor. We and our resources are meager, but our God is infinite and omnipotent, with unlimited resources. He wants us to release control, to turn everything over to him. Yes, we are poor; He is rich! Yes, we are finite; He is infinite! Yes, we are weak and doubtful; He is omnipotent! With all that we have, with Jesus, we can make a difference. 

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.