Help Child Deal with Divorce #7 Annabel, You're Not the Reason They Are Spliting

Dear Annabel,

            Don't freak out, stay calm, my child. You're not the cause of your parents' divorce. If you think the divorce happened because of something you did or didn't do, don't believe it. That's nonsense. Your behavior or attitude has nothing to do with their splitting up. You may make them angry sometimes (like I was to my parents), but never the reason for their unhappy marriage.

            Bel, your parents decided to split up because of their relationship with each other, not because of their relationship with you. If your parents seem inattentive, mean or uncaring at this moment, you might feel they're blaming you for the split. I understand how that feel. As you know by now (because I keep repeating it), divorce is not easy for anyone in the family. Your dad and mom going through a break up that often causes them to be extremely stressful. And stress may cause them to act differently and sometimes rather strange. Deep down in their hearts, they still love you. They just being distracted. So don't take it personally.

            Uncle noticed that sometimes I said things I don't mean in the heat of the moment. How during a flight I blurted out that I hate someone without really mean it. Well, Annabel, sometime your parents may say things they don't meanwhile they are going through a divorce. During one of these bad moments, they might say something very hurtful. I hope not... but if this happens, don't believe it! Wait until everyone settles down and calm, then you can talk and ask them about it, okay?

  Love,

Angelus

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.