Happiness Is A Choice: The Symptoms, Causes, and Cures of Depression (2007) by Minirth & Meier, Book Review

Happiness Is A Choice: The Symptoms, Causes, and Cures of Depression 

(2007, Updated Edition) by Frank Minirth, M.D. & Paul Meier, M.D.

"Most people are about as happy as they choose to be," said Abraham Lincoln. The authors agree with him. Probably Lincoln knows best. He went through many grievances in his life - the death of a loved one, lost elections, the Civil War, and other major disappointments. According to the authors, Lincoln once was so depressed that he considered suicide. But he chooses to overcome his depression and obtained inner joy and peace. Of course, eventually, he died but not because of depression but fell victim to the bullet.

Dr. Minirth and Dr. Meier have over 30 years of experience and study human psychology, physiology, anatomy, mentality, spirituality and are said to have exercised psycho-therapeutic skills on thousands of patients. According to them, with minor exceptions like a genetic bipolar disorder, "happiness is a choice." Granted that the human mind and emotions are a very complex, dynamic system, both authors are very confident that lasting inner happiness and depression at its core is "your choice." I agree and at the same time disagree with this statement. I agree because to solve a problem you need to realize that to some extent you're in control and it is within your power to make a change in your life. Free will is God's gift, not a curse. Who chooses to dwell in the misery? Who enjoys being a victim? Who reacts destructively? Who always blames you? You! This reminds me of Jim Rohn's quote: "If you don't like how things are, change it! You're not a tree." Sometimes people unintentionally 'choose' depression due to guilt, bitterness, anger and even use it as a tool for manipulation.

But, on the other hand, I disagree. Why would anyone choose unhappiness and depression? What if there is a chemical imbalance in my brain? What if I'm born this way? (Now, this can be an excuse. But what excuse are you gonna give to those who are born intersex, for example) What about a spiritual attack? Where is the 'choice' in these? I think there are no once-for-all books that can simply answer these questions. Therefore, I'm going to be very gracious with the authors and try to understand their point of view based on their experiences as practitioners and from their Biblical perspective as Christ believers. My disagreement probably due to my lack of knowledge. But this is a true statement: most (not all) clinical depression is treatable and very likely curable. The rise of depression especially during the pandemic is worrisome and it is a very helpful book to keep us informed, be empathetic and hopefully, we will choose some new, healthy-producing attitudes and behavior patterns in our lives. "There is no single cause for all depressions, even though pent-up anger is the root cause of the vast majority of depression," writes the authors in the conclusion of this book. "[And] there is no single solution, even though faith in Jesus Christ and the principles of God's Word is at the root of all the solutions (known and unknown). The solutions may sometimes be very complex, but THEY DO EXIST!" Yes, they do exist. Have hope and faith in the sovereign God. Amen! [Ps: Don't be afraid to find help ya] ���������

#LeadersAreReaders #GrowingLeaders #HappinessIsAChoice #FightAgainstDepression #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain

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THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

 

 

Help Child Deal with Divorce #8 Annabel, the Pain Can Be Eased by Sharing

Dear Annabel,

            I can understand how you feel, the pain seems to won't go away. The pain from a divorce is not like the pain you get from hitting your thumb with a hammer. The pain from a sore thumb can be treated with ice, some medicine or over time, it will heal. The pain from divorce can't be treated with a medicine or ice, but it can be eased a lot by talking, sharing and converse about it. Bel, if you keep your feelings to yourself it only makes the pain harder to take, and talking about it makes it easier to deal with. I'm glad you share with uncle and aunty about this, but we're not always there for you physically. We can only do so much. Of course, we want to be there for you but it would be good if you can share with someone that is close to you.

            You can talk to friends, family members, school counselors, your pastor and even your parents. Your mom and dad might be very busy now with their own pain that they forget to ask you about yours. That's okay, you can share with them later. And talk to God, pray to Him. Pour out your heart to Him. He will listen to you. "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" (Matthew 7:7-11). You're God's child, ask and tell Him!

            Do you know any Christian adults or friends that may have experienced the same thing as you do? A woman counselor is good. Ask your parents to arrange for an appointment with a counselor (or if you're okay, I can arrange it for you). Counselor knows exactly what you are going through and they can give you the tools you need to deal with your pain.

 See you next week!

Angelus

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

Letters to Annie: Choose Wise Role Models

Dear Annie,

            It’s been awhile since I write any letter to you. I’m sorry. I’ve been very busy lately with the student ministry and my writings. My books will be published next year. I’ll be back to see you soon and celebrate together this achievement with thanksgivings and prayer together. It will be fun! Oh, Annie, during one of the retreat last month, I have made a decision to share our good news of romantic relationship with one of my well-trusted colleagues. We talked man-to-man and I asked for his advice and wise counselling. He also guide me in my journey as Christ follower and leader to young people. I consider him as my mentor. Maybe I will introduce him to you soon dear.

            Early of this year, I realized of how important it is for us to have and choose wise role models. To effectively strengthen our faith and our relationships, we have to choose role models whose faith in God is strong. The Bible encourage us: “Spend time with the wise and you will become wise” (Proverbs 13:20). Never think that we can guide our own lives without the help of others; and never thought that we’re too spiritual that we don’t need any guidance.

Annie, we need role models. When we emulate godly people, we become a more godly person ourselves. But not just anyone, we must choose wisely. “Do not open you heart to every man,” writes Thomas A’ Kempis, “but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God.” We should seek out mentors, who, by their words and their presence, make us a better person and a better Christian. Howard Hendricks pointed out that “the effective mentor strives to help a man or woman discover what they can be in Christ and then holds them accountable to become that person.”

            Today, if you don’t have any role models, as a gift to yourself, select from your friends, church members and family members, a mentor whose judgment you trust. A mentor don’t have to be perfect (nobody is perfect, after all) or flawless or a very influential person. But he or she must be a mature Christian, growing disciple, wise in applying the Word into actions, well thought of inside and outside the Church and reverent fear of the Lord. Choose your spiritual mentor or mentors. Choose your friends wisely too. Bill Hybels assured that “God often keeps us on the path by guiding us through the counsel of friends and trusted spiritual advisors”.

Listen carefully to your mentor’s advice and be willing to accept that advice, even if accepting it requires effort or pain, or both. Remember, their advice is not flawless or absolute and may sometime impractical and may not have all of the answers. But by all mean consider your mentor or mentors to be God’s gift to you. Ask, listen, and learn. As for any other God’s gifts, use this gift for the glory of Christ’s Kingdom. I pray you’ll have wise role models to follow.

I’ll try my best to be your spiritual mentor,

And you’ll somehow be my mentor in the area of my weaknesses.

But above all let both of us choose Lord Jesus Christ as our Supreme Role Model.

            Akui nyalam ikak,

Richard

THINK BIG. START SMALL. GO DEEP.

What Campus Students can Contribute towards the Life of the Church?

Picture taken from: http://www.aletheiachurch.com/

What are some areas where students can contribute towards the life of the church? Consider the following:

1) Teaching the Sunday school class or helping the Youth Fellowship (YF). The challenge here is especially great for men. In many Sunday schools or YF, there is a shortage of male teachers. It is probably because of this that churches often find it difficult to retain boys once they have finished their secondary school education.

2) Helping to counsel young people. In a way, this is related to the above. Having just undergone the struggles of adolescence themselves, students can better empathize with younger friends now going through theirs.

3) Literature work. Students can either write articles for the church newsletter, recommend books that they have found helpful or load their books for others. It may even be possible to run a book table by making appropriate arrangements with a bookshop. The reading of good books leaves a lasting impact on young lives.

4) In the course of campus life, students gain experience in doing the Lord’s work, for example, leading Bible study groups, learning to share one’s faith, planning a term’s programme, and so on. These experiences can be shared with others in the church.

5) Students’ secular studies can also be put to good practice. Those doing accountancy can help to streamline church accounts and specialists in education can help to upgrade Sunday school teaching.

6) Students can share items about campus life and witness during the church’s prayer meeting. In this way, others will be encouraged to see them as the church’s “missionaries” on campus. Those who study in campuses away from their home towns can keep their church leaders informed of their activities through occasional letters or better through – social networks.

Reminder: The above list is not exhaustive but time is an important constraint. Students will have to strike a balance among various commitments to church work, campus witness, studies and family life. Situation will vary. In churches where there is a lack of capable personnel, students obviously will find themselves tied down with church work. But those who want to take on leadership positions in student work must first carefully think through their priorities. For a period of time at least, students may not be able to do as much for their churches as they wish. Hopefully, their church leaders will be understanding and can be encouraged to see the exceptional possibilities that exist on the campus. The students are their churches’ missionary representatives there. As in FES Malaysia, we encouraged students to embrace their missionary identity in campus! Amen.

Think Big. Start Small. Go Deep.