Why those "Monkeys" are on your back?

I had a conversation one day with a student about his problem with monkeys in his college apartment. Monkeys always disturbed his clothes. Monkeys always make noise at odd times. Monkeys always steal his food through open windows. What a chaos monkeys can creates!

But there are another ‘monkeys’ that create much more problem than that. These ‘monkeys’ are what Dr. Kenneth Blanchard, co-author of the One Minute Manager writes in this book, “You are helping your people too much if you take responsibility for the care and feeding of their monkeys.” ‘Monkeys’ in his context are refers to the tasks, jobs or problems that are the responsibility of other people which normally ‘own’ by subordinates, friends etc.

Dr. Kenneth continues, “Like any other pet, monkeys belong with their rightful owners not an adoptive parent.” My friend had to take care of her neighbor's dog named Jumbo. But no matter how much she takes good care of Jumbo, she could never be Jumbo’s real owner. Same as others ‘monkeys’, it’s belong to them not yours. Sometime we create our own problem when we try to put ‘monkeys’ on our back. Right now you probably desire to help someone and you said, “Let me help you”; “let me do it for you”; “I’ll take care of that” and once you’re hooked with their ‘monkeys’, they walks away and behold, without your realization – the monkey (the problem) is yours.

I’m not suggesting you to not to help others with their ‘Monkeys’ (problems). By all means, help if you can, but never… never… never ever take the responsibility of others and make it yours. Dr. Kenneth advices 3 responsive to keep the ‘monkeys’ off your back:

1.     Supportive response: State that you understand the complexity of the other’s problem and that you are willing to talk with them about how they (not you) can get it solved.

2.     Delegating response: Inform others that this is their responsibility, but give them some suggestions they might try.

3.     Coaching response: If you feel others do not have the ability to handle their monkeys, then give them specific directions. Explain the next move, or strategy, that you would recommend, and then supervise what they do.

Never never never ever take care or give bananas to other people’s monkey. And it is such a disgrace when the former owners check in to see how you are doing with their monkeys. Support them, give suggestions to them and coaching them… but don’t keep their ‘monkeys’!!!

THINK BIG Take care of your main responsibilities not other’s monkeys.

START SMALL Identify what you really need to be cared for, returned, or disposed of?

GO DEEP Let go and let God works on their ‘monkeys’ (problems) but allow Him to use you as a supporter, encourager and coach for them.