25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks (2005) by John C. Maxwell and Les Parrott |
I believe in God’s calling in my life. As I reflect, it is impossible for me in the past to have worked in the people business and enjoy it (previously I was working in the cinema management team) and then enter into the people-centered ministry that I’m passionately doing now. Personality-wise, I’m not a people person. I was proud, selfish, and headstrong. But only by the love and grace of God, He slowly shapes my character and continues to teach - and often discipline - me to love others. When God calls, we must respond, then He will equip us. Having said that, loving people is not automatic (in my case, I need a miracle!) but it requires humility, perspective, and practice. But the question is WHY? Why it is important to love people? As Christ-followers, this should be obvious. Look at Christ’s examples and read Christ’s words. But generally speaking, we live with each other, we work with each other, we are dependent on each other, and we always meet each other. There is no such thing as a self-made man. Even Superman needs Louis! As John Andrew Holmes puts it: “It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.”
So, since we cannot avoid people, we might as well learn to love people. And when you try, you will eventually genuinely love them (Yes, some people require more grace from our part. Actually, vice versa). I brought this book back in 2010 because I saw the need for me to learn to develop relationships with my boss, colleagues, and staff to win their hearts. Besides, in the cinema business, I have to deal with many types of clients and customers. I was young and inexperienced but hungry enough to learn from my mistakes and try new things. This book together with John’s larger book Winning with People (2004) and Dale Carnegie’s classic How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936) have been a great help for me. 12 years later, as I read through this book again, I’m amazed by how relevant, important, and simply profound these twenty-five ways are to win with people. There are lots of good stories and I particularly love the “On Bringing It Home” section in every chapter designed to help the readers to put each way/lesson into action. There are lines, highlights, juicy quotes, and personal notes in my copy that bring back good memories.
Ps: One concern that I have with this kind of book is that: we must draw the line (no matter how thin the line is) between influencing and manipulating people. Use it wisely and ethically.
Truth be told, I have become slightly better in my relationships with people. Slowly yet hopeful. Some of these lessons have turned into habits; some I still have to practice; some are a bit more challenging - stubborn! - to implement. When I observe myself, people around me, and how people interact in social media and technologies like Zoom, Skype, Google Meet, etc. it reminds me that all the more we have to learn to connect with people effectively as humans, improve our interpersonal skills, breathe encouragements, be genuinely interested with others online and offline, and make the most of every opportunity to “keep winning by helping others win” said John Maxwell. I may forget my own advice or lessons that I learned from this book and realistically cannot win every people I encounter, but Lord, I pray, for me and you, to make a difference at least to one person even with a simple gesture of kindness that we meet TODAY. May he or she says, “I have become better for having known you.”
#ServeToLead #LeadersAreReaders #GrowingLeaders #WinningWithPeople #LetsMakeReadingCoolAgain
To read my other book reviews by John C. Maxwell, CLICK HERE
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