How to be Perfectly Miserable

1. Think about yourself.
2. Talk about yourself.
3. Use “I” as much as possible.
4. Mirror yourself continually in the opinion of others.
5. Listen greedily to what people say about you.
6. Expect to be appreciated.
7. Be suspicious.
8. Be jealous and envious.
9. Be sensitive to slights.
10. Never forgive a criticism.
11. Trust nobody but yourself.
12. Insist on consideration and respect.
13. Demand agreement with your own views of everything.
14. Sulk if people are not grateful to you for favors shown them.
15. Never forget a service you may have rendered.
16. Be on the lookout for good time for yourself.
17. Shirk your duties if you can.
18. Do as little as possible for others.
19. Love yourself supremely.
20. Be selfish.
21. THINK SMALL.
22. START HUGE.
23. GO SHALLOW.

[Source for no. 1 to no. 20 are from; The Speaker’s Quote Book by Roy B. Zuck © 1997, 2009 Published by Kregel Publications.]