Part 2 : Toxic Friend
Toxic? Chemical romance out of friendship is it? (giggle) . No my dearest reader.
Florence Isaacs explains that a toxic friendship is unsupportive, draining, unrewarding, stifling, unsatisfying, and often unequal. “Toxic friends stress you out, use you, are unreliable, are overly demanding, and don’t give anything back.”
Florence Isaacs explains that a toxic friendship is unsupportive, draining, unrewarding, stifling, unsatisfying, and often unequal. “Toxic friends stress you out, use you, are unreliable, are overly demanding, and don’t give anything back.”
These are some of the many ‘types’ and characteristics a of toxic friend could have:
(I edited and cited from: http://www.beautyfool.net/what-are-toxic-friends-and-how-do-i-get-rid-of-them/)
The Gossiper
She thrives on gossip, scandal and drama. She bad mouths everyone and makes you think what she could be saying about you. You have probably met a lot of these people in high school!The Wet Blanket/Victim.
She only calls you when there is something wrong in her life. In fact, her life motto is ‘Woe is me.’ When it’s all good, you never hear from her. This friend takes you for granted and has appointed you as their personal therapist. You could be having a wonderful day and a phone call from her can bring you down and completely wear you out.
The Envious One.
Let’s be very honest – girls are very catty, and most of it steams from insecurity. This is the friend that very subtly criticizes you, makes everything a competition, and even sounds happy when you are having a bad day.
The User.
A person who has identified that you have/know something that they want. Whether it is for them to further their career, or as simple as you have a hot brother and she wants to get with him! Either way, this person is just using you for their own benefit and provides absolutely nothing to your life.
For an example, I used to be friend a wealthy kids back in University, most of the time, he would pay for my dinner or movies or buy me things. Well, we are friend, we shared right. I have a bunch of another friend which likes to ask favor from him using my name or while with my presence, buzz or chat with me in Facebook as if we are best of bestiest. This bunch of friend would cheers for me whenever they see me and the wealthy guy entering cafeteria. After I graduated, this ‘’another bunch of friend’’ is no more contacting me, not even saying "hi" in Facebook. This has proven, they were just cheering on me to get the wealthy guy to pay for their food. But the wealthy guy is still being a good friend of mine.
For an example, I used to be friend a wealthy kids back in University, most of the time, he would pay for my dinner or movies or buy me things. Well, we are friend, we shared right. I have a bunch of another friend which likes to ask favor from him using my name or while with my presence, buzz or chat with me in Facebook as if we are best of bestiest. This bunch of friend would cheers for me whenever they see me and the wealthy guy entering cafeteria. After I graduated, this ‘’another bunch of friend’’ is no more contacting me, not even saying "hi" in Facebook. This has proven, they were just cheering on me to get the wealthy guy to pay for their food. But the wealthy guy is still being a good friend of mine.
How to solve it? Here are few of my suggestions:
Set Boundaries.
When you are helping a friend but they are hurting you in the process, nobody is feeling good and nothing productive is happening – this is what happened to me. In general though, you can simply learn to start saying ‘no’. No to 20 phone calls a day about her ex boyfriend. No to insulting anyone in your family. No to calling you last minute and expecting you to drop everything to see her. It is hard, because at the same time you want to be there for a friend but you have to set boundaries.
Speak to Them.
This is probably the hardest … If you would like to give this friendship another go, there is no other way to change it then to honestly speak to them about how you are feeling. Stand up for yourself and tell them you won’t take their trouble anymore.
Don’t be a Toxic Friend yourself!
We all do it sometimes. I definitely am guilty of pouring out my sorrows to a friend a little too often and I am the worse at replying calls, especially text messages. It has made me realize that the friendships I were persuing were with the wrong people and the friendships I left alone are my real friends. Life is a learning process though, so try to be a good friend yourself and have friendships with everyone while practicing honesty and love. When you do meet these special people, cherish them.
Above all fast to Forgive
Seventy times seven. In Matthew 18:21-22, we read, Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
“No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!” What does this mean?
Unlimited In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus says, “I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him.”
Seventy times seven. In Matthew 18:21-22, we read, Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
“No!” Jesus replied, “seventy times seven!” What does this mean?
Unlimited In Luke 17:3-4, Jesus says, “I am warning you! If another believer sins, rebuke him; then if he repents, forgive him. Even if he wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, forgive him.”
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Priscilla Andrew is from Miri, Sarawak. She's a daddy girl, so we might assume that she's quite a tough young lady. She loves to quote, ''Look at the world with your heart not with your head'' Writing on Being a Woman doesn't mean she's there already, this is a long term process. But along the way; she's learning and that's when this note come into written words.
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