Leader must build Trust

When I was a boy, whenever my parent wants to go out; either balik kampung (going back to our hometown) or went out for quite a long time, my mother would remind me, "Take good care of our home. Make sure that you lock the door if you want to go out... bla bla..."- a standard version of a mother advice. She didn't said it to my brother because she knew (we knew) that my brother is not as ‘hommie’ as I am. Then the last thing she said to me is: “I trust you.”

Being a leader, it is important that your followers would someday as they follow your leading they will be able to say to you, ‘I trust you can lead us.’ When you hear those words come out from your followers, you know that they believe in you. Trust is not easy nor it hard to build; it took time and consistency, but to betray a trust it only took a second for it to crumble down.

John C. Maxwell said, “Some of the ways a leader can betray trust include: breaking promises, gossiping, withholding information, and being two-faced.” In his book Developing the Leaders Around You, he writes trust is built on many things:

Time. Take time to listen and give feedback on performance.

Respect. Give someone respect and he will return it with trust.

Unconditional Positive Regard. Show acceptance of the person.

Sensitivity. Anticipate feelings and needs of the potential leader.

Touch. Give encouragement – handshake, high five, pat on the back.

People will not follow a leader they do not trust. You must initiate and take responsibility to create trust within your circle.

"Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself." (Unknown, help me with this)

Networking your Talents and Gifts

 “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.” (Erma Bombeck)

Normally, I would write the conclusion at the last paragraph, but now I will make a conclusion first before we begin with the contents. This is it - God has already given you what you need to begin to create your future. Don’t waste it; use your talents and gifts before you. No one ever made a success of anything by first waiting until all the conditions were ‘just right’.

Mark Elliot Zuckerberg is a brilliant student who always enjoyed developing computer programs, especially communication tools and games. (#1, I wonder if he ever comes to Christian Fellowship at Harvard? #2, He might be brilliant at computer programs stuffs, but does he play sports?) On 4th February 2004, he launches Facebook as thefacebook.com from his Harvard dormitory room. At first, it started off just for fun; but after that it slowly gaining much popularity, Facebook has become hits in social networking site. He and his co-founders Dustin Moskovitz, (Soon Eduardo and Chris joined them) started their first office in Palo Alto, California.

What seem to be a ‘hobby’ ‘for fun’ things, he did not waste his talents just to benefit himself. It is my own conviction, provided that I never know him personally; his purpose is to develop a social network that can help people to connect with each others.

On June 2004, Peter Thiel is the first investor for Facebook with USD$500,000. Then on May 2005; Accel Partners invests USD$13 million and November 2007; Hong Kong billionaire Li Ka-Shing invests USD$60 million in Facebook.  According to MYC! News, ‘on 21st July 2010, Facebook reached the 500 million-user mark. Today, “Zuck” owns 24% of Facebook Inc. at the tender age of 26’. He had become a young billionaire. Now Facebook is used all over the world. (Except Syria, China, Vietnam, and Iran have banned Facebook.)

Everyone have their own gifts and talents- some have many, some have few but everyone have it. Some may not become a billionaire, but everyone can contribute by positively using theirs’ to create a better world for people around them.

Some may not have talent as significance as Mark Zuckerburg had, but even as simple it appears to be, your talents can always bring benefits to others. A mother who know how to calm a baby, a father who know how to tell good stories to his children, a writer who wrote a great books, a caring person who always give encouragement to others and all of this and many more- use your gifts and talents to achieve your dreams, to benefits others and above all, our main priority is to glorified God, the Generous Giver.

What would you do with your gifts? To whom your talents will be use?
P.s: Correct me if my facts about Mark Zuckerburg is wrong.
 

Helping Hands needed!

According to The Star newspaper on 30^th January 2011, ‘Floodwaters cut off communications between a number of towns in Johor, Negri Sembilan, Pahang, Malacca and Sabah while more than 46,000 people were evacuated to relief centres Monday, in a repeat of the major floods which occurred in 2006.’

Many religious bodies, NGOs, student volunteers and individuals had come to help flood victims for gotong-royong (co-operate, work together) to clean up their house. I believe that most of us would like to help them but due to our works and other responsibilities may limit our time to give a helping hand. Have you ever asking yourself, ‘What could I do to help them?’ after you finish reading a newspaper or watching evening news about victims of wars, natural disasters, poverty or human trafficking around the world? or perhaps around your area?

If you are thinking like me; ‘I want to help them all’, ‘I want to change the world’ etc. perhaps you may want to reconsider a fact, that I’ve simply forget that everyone around us need help. The question is not how massive my action must be, but ‘am I willing to demonstrate Jesus’ love by releasing what is in my hands now?’

There is a story about a beautiful statue of Jesus; it was badly damaged by the bombing in France. After the war ended, they begin to repair it. Every part of the statue was repaired but one – pieces of the hands were never found. Some people said, ‘What good is our Jesus without hands?’
 That statement gave one of them an idea. At his suggestion, they made a plaque and attached it to the statue with these words: ‘I have no hands but your hands!’

Throughout the Gospels, His hands bring healing, help, and compassion to hurting people. Jesus said that ‘as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you did it to me.’ (Matthew 25:40) and ‘whoever believes in me will also do the works that I do…’ (John 14:12) If you can accomplish a massive program to help others please do so, but if you only have a bread on your hands and there is a hungry brother asking for it, give it to him.

You cannot help all of 46,000+ flood victims, but you can help one of them. You cannot feed hundreds of poverty children in Malaysia, but you can help one. Touch one soul one day at the time; you’ll be surprise that within a year you have influence 365 souls per year.

What are your hands doing to help others?

"People never forget that helping hand especially when times are tough." (Catherine Pulsife)

A leader both Pray and Act

“He’s the strong conscience of the whole Christian world.” (Billy Graham said about Pope John Paul II)

His real name is Karol Jozef Wojtyla, the archbishop of Krakow, Poland. I’m not sure if you can pronoun his name or recognize this man, but if I mention Pope John Paul II, maybe most of you will recognize him immediately. He becomes pope in 1978, the highest office on the Roman Catholic Church.

When I read his short biography in books, magazine articles etc. it amazed me that this small man did much work inside and outside his office. One of his great impacts on the international stage was his decisive role in the collapse of Communism in Europe in the 1980s and he was leading a major influence on spiritual life in Cuba.

In You can be a World Changer published by Honors Books writes, “He has done more than any other pope to mend relations with Jewish people and in 1996, became the first pope to enter a synagogue in Rome since the apostle Peter. In 2000, he publicly prayed for forgiveness for the Church’s failure through the centuries to combat atrocities against Jews, natives Americans, women, homosexuals, children abused by priests, and other maligned groups of people.”

When I read the above quote, I was touch by his willingness to admit the failure of Christians around the world. That is the boldness of a godly leader. He acts, going out reaching people and prays for others. In his private chapel, he would wake up at 6.15am everyday to pray.

When the World are making fun of Church leaders such as pope like him on movies etc, we often forget that being a leader is a serious business in the Kingdom of God. Some may bring out negative images to the world, but I believe most of Church leaders are people that are worth to exemplified. No matter if you’re a Church leader or father to your son; any positions or influence you’re making – remember this: Leader must be prayerful and action oriented person. But first Pope John Paul II said,

“Brothers and sisters don’t be afraid to welcome Christ and to accept his power.” 

Christ is always be his first priority.
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Week 32: Love - 'Love never Fails'

Have you watch animated movie called 'Despicable me'? It is a story about Gru, a genius inventor and a son who is always want to impress his mother. His profession is a full-time villain. He said to his people that his goal is, 'I will be the greatest villain of all time!' And his ultimate plan is to steal the moon with the help of his team, Dr. Nefario and yellow cute minions. On his journey to achieve his goal, Gru encountered another new villain called Vector. ("I'm not Victor any more. Victor was my nerd name. Now I am Vector!")

To cut the story short, he adopts three children; Margo, Edith and Agnes. While the plan is still on; a cold blooded Gru is slowly became a lukewarm blooded villain. His relationship with those kids has softened his heart. One night before the kids going to sleep, Agnes makes an unfamiliar request to Gru, "Will you read us a bed time story?... Pretty, please."

"The physical appearance of the 'please' makes no difference. No!", he said. Well, after a while he finally says yes. The bedtime story is called 'Sleepy Kitten':

Three little kittens loved to play; they had fun in the sun all day. Then their mother came out and said, "Time for kitten to go to bed." Three little kittens started to bawl, "Mommy, we're not tired at all." Their mother smiled and said with a purr, "Fine, but at least you should brush your fur." Three little kitten with fur all brushed said, "We can't sleep, we feel too rushed!" Their mother replied, with a voice like silk, "Fine, but at least you should drink your milk." Three little kittens with milk all gone rubbed their eyes and started to yawn, "We can't sleep. We can't even try." Then their mom sang a lullaby, "Good night kittens close your eyes. Sleep in peace until you rise. Though while you sleep we are apart, your mommy loves you with all her heart."

"The end. Good night.'

As they spent the time together, his already lukewarm heart became tender like a meat marinated with wine. Gru, was a lonely man but now his life has became more alive. After a great adventure together, he wrote a bedtime story for them. 'This gonna be the best book ever!’ said Agnes.

One Big Unicorn by Gru.

One big unicorn strong and free thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turn his life upside down! They made him laugh. They made him cry. He never should have said goodbye. And now he knows he could never apart from those three little kittens that change his heart. The end.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13:8a, "Love never fails." Never fails, never comes to an end, is never replace by anything else. When it comes to love, a true love, we couldn't stand a chance to be someone who we were before - it changes us. Gru, with all his ambitious to be the greatest villain of all is now became a loving father. What change him? It was love. John Darby comments, "This is the divine character... our relationship with God are in grace. Love is His nature."

Your heart today maybe as cold as Gru were, your life is filled with loneliness and you may have done or planning to do evil instead of righteousness. Lift your hand to Father, He might send you children or little kittens or bedtime story book. You might be surprise when He sent you the 'unexpected gifts' that will change your life forever. About 2,000 years ago, He wrote a love-action story, even better than 'Sleepy Kittens' and 'One Big Unicorn', it called 'The Gospel of Jesus Christ.' This is His first and ultimate gifts.

'God is love' (1 John 4:8) and Paul said 'Love never fails'. This is the same kind of love that they wrote about- Agape love, the love of Christ for mankind. God is love; therefore love never fails because God will never fail you.  

Do you want to receive His love today?

Am I a Leader?

He said to me, "Maybe what they can do is to minimize the games time and get into the main topic fast." It was a good feedback and I didn't realize the problem until he started to mention it. So I told him, 'Why don't you tell the committee about it.' He said that, 'I'm not a leader and I'm nobody.'

There are times when we are doubting 'Am I a Leader?’ Ken Blanchard & Phil Hodges in Lead like Jesus, definite leadership like this;

Leadership is a process of influence. Anytime you seek to influence the thinking, behavior, or development of people in their personal or professional lives, you are taking on the role of a leader.

Example of those who are engaged in an act of leadership; A mother with a child at any time of day, a husband and wife who seek mutual agreement on day-to-day finances, a local government official who takes an unpopular political stand based on principle etc.

Each of these people is a leader because he or she is affecting or influencing others, either in a positive or negative way. Everyone is a leader in some part of life. It doesn't need position, fame or title to become a leader, It's start (but not only) with the simple desire to serve.  So the next question that we must asked is this, by recognizing that I am a leader, I must ask myself, ' 

Am I seeking to serve or to be served?' 

That's the question of positive leadership.

A 'cry for help' had been ignored

            She smiles like a normal girl. She when to school, a bright and well-behaved student, that's what her teacher said. Maybe she pondered outside the balcony on her 2nd floor classroom, maybe she said, "What would happen tomorrow?" Head faced ground... 'There', could be there.

            'In this life, there's nobody to trust', a familiar quote that she heard quite often in movies and TV dramas. Just maybe. Her walk was slowing down, anxious about life, feeling unworthy about herself, useless, without hope, and sinking into the depths of despair. Maybe, just maybe she thought, "It was my fault... I fail this relationship." Then suddenly, all the promises flashed through her mind one by one until the last one that she really couldn't let go: "I'll never leave you, no matter what... I'll always love you." Well, this is just maybe.

            The next day, she went to school again. This time she ‘wears’ extra smile on her face. She didn't sleep well these few nights, her energy low, tired, pain on her back and if possible; she don't want to met anyone. But that day, she behaved normal. 

            Maybe some tried to play jokes on her; maybe they just don't realize that she loss her weight these few days. Her sense of humor was vastly diminished, being replaced by self pity. She posted: [This would be my last Chinese New Year]. Maybe her friends thought, 'Well of course, Chinese New Year is only once per year, what's big deal about it!' She sees narrow road, not much choice, maybe she can see no way out of this intolerable situation - a lost of hope. ~Suicide~ 'is this the devil's call or my heart desire or this is the way I been looking for? I do not know.' Maybe if she posts another one, her friends will give her encouragements to proceed with this life. No! [Go ahead with whatever you want to do. I dare you.]Maybe just maybe, that was the respond. Her last attempt to gain attention is failed. A 'cry for help' had been ignored.

            Same school, same time, same classroom and same spot where she stand few days ago, a question that was raised her attention resurfaced on her mind once again, 'What would happen tomorrow?'. Maybe she wants to think about this a little bit more. So maybe she sits precariously on the corridor ledge facing her empty classroom... Decided! Without warning, when everybody least except... decided to take her life away. Yesterday she facing down still considering, but this time her face facing the sky determine to put an end to her misery.

            During that brief moment in the mid-air, what happen I do not know, neither of us can. Maybe she regret and wishing to go back to her original position, head faced ground and standing on solid cement instead of faced backwards and suffered fatal head injuries and died. Stupid? Crazy? Unthinkable? Hmmm, that is MAYBE, but is it really stupid, crazy and unthinkable?

I think when friends, the greatest need, a friend who suppose to love and support her as she walk through the dark valley left her alone is the real stupid. As crazy as how she end her life is not as crazy as those who asked her to go ahead with what she want to do is the real crazy. Unthinkable? No, there are a huge numbers of us who think the same way; no way out except end this life. 

What could you say?* You could say 'Accept that as you are at the moment, you are not the best person to decide the way out of your problems', 'Find someone you can trust and talk to them about how you are feeling', 'There is an answer', 'I'm going to pray for you', 'Choose life', 'When you feel ready, let begin to crack the problem together.' If you can't do this, please do not ignore them. Find someone who is trained for counseling.

The bottom line is this; let us together treat people as human being who craving for acceptance and love. Demonstrate it, don't just talk about it. Be prayerful, oh if you knew that the Power of God flow mightily when His Children pray! Don't lift you head and die, lift your head and pray! Keep offer hope and encouragement. Above all put your trust in the One who loves you, and gave His Son to die for you and me.

"I alone know the plans I have for you, plans that bring you prosperity and not disaster, plans to bring about the future you hope for. Then you will call to me. You will come and pray to me, and I will answer you. You will seek me, and you will find me because you will seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

You might be interested to read this,
10 Minutes reading before Suicide click HERE